


Consoler of the Lonely

by dizbil



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Wing Kink, angel!Jared, change of POV, raised as brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 17:18:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizbil/pseuds/dizbil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a society where angels are assigned to young humans and raised to look after them, Jensen is an eight year old who still hasn't picked his angel. He is uncomfortable with the idea of owning someone, no need to mention he would have to separate another kid from his family. That was until the day his parents carried him to the adoption center and Jensen saw him, little and scared, so goofy, his name was Jared. He only had one wing and was sure nobody would pick him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the spn-j2-bigbang 2012 with gwinchester (LJ)  
> Art by bellagattino (LJ)

  
  
“I think it’s time to wake him up Donna.”  
  
Jensen heard his father say as he opened the door, truth was he had been too nervous to sleep and he barely did all night. Still, he laid there, eyes closed, on his stomach and waited for his mom to wake him up.  
  
“Jen, baby time to wake up.”  
  
He could hear a smile on her voice, she’d probably noticed he was fake sleeping but he opened his eyes slowly and kept on with his act. Jensen loved it when his mom was the one chasing sleep away so he wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass.  
  
“Mornin’ mom.” He said while she kissed him on his cheek. “Mornin’ dad.”  
  
“Good morning, son. Today is the big day, are you ready?”  
  
Jensen could feel two pair of eyes on him, filled with mild apprehension; he nodded and smiled while standing up. Jensen could see the worry in his parents’ eyes and he couldn’t blame them, he was a little nervous but it was going to be fine this time. It would be.  
  
“We’re going to let you get ready.” His mom said as she caressed him. “No need to be nervous okay?”  
  
“I’m not.” he said but everybody in the room knew he was lying, but it wasn’t a complete lie so...  
  
“Listen I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast with mom, wear something nice.” His father said before wrapping one arm around his mother’s waist and leading her outside the room.  
  
Jensen got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and showered as fast as he could, now fully awake. Back in his room, the boy walked to his wardrobe. Something nice his dad said... Well his green polo was dirty so that wasn’t an option and his mom just bought him a batman shirt...so yeah, the batman t-shirt was nice. He wore it, knowing that wasn’t what his dad meant at all, but wearing formal clothing like all the other kids wouldn’t help him calm down.  
  
He picked some random pants and pulled them on, his socks weren’t matching but he figured no one would look at that. With one last glance at himself in the mirror, Jensen headed downstairs with a smile on his face.  


→

  
“That isn’t exactly what I had in mind Jen.” His dad said minutes later while Jensen was lacing his shoes. Alan shook his head and smiled “But you look very nice, if I were an angel I would want you to be my protégée.”  
  
Jensen looked at his dad eyes wide opened, suddenly more nervous than ever. He had to pick his angel today, at least he would try to. He was already eight years old and by that time most kids had already picked. Jensen’s parents had been taking him to the center since he was four but he could never choose and now that he felt somewhat “ready”, his father had to go and say that, and now he was really panicking. It was just that... everyone had an angel except him.  
  
They were supposed to always be around you, protect you against anything bad and just... just... be there. Jensen was used to the feathers on the streets and the wings everywhere, everyone at his school had one and even his principal’s secretary was one. Jensen just felt left out and as he was growing up, the feeling was growing stronger. He just wanted his angel, but he didn’t want to choose him, he wanted to walk in the center and just know it was the right one. His angel, his best friend for life.  
  
“Mom... I think it's better if we... ”  
  
His mom looked at him, a radiant smile on her face. “Its okay,Jen’.” She poured some orange juice and offered him the glass, still smiling. “You look ready and if you can’t pick this time either it’s no big deal. Just take your time, okay honey?” She kissed the top of his head and told him they had to go or they would be late.  
  
On the way to the center the car was silent apart from the radio. Usually their car rides were filled with music and laughter, Jensen loved it but that morning he just couldn’t talk. His mouth was dry, his hands sweaty. He could see they were approaching the center and his heart was beating faster and harder.  
  
Then, before he had a chance to steady his breathing, his father was parking the car. Already? Jensen thought to himself, but apparently he said it out loud because his father replied as his mother tried not to laugh.  
  
“It will be good Jensen, now smile and let’s go.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes, that was easy for his dad to say he didn’t have a missing tooth. Because of course, Jensen just had to lose one of his teeth last week...  
  
“And I know you’re thinking about the tooth again Jensen, I told you it’s normal, soon enough you will have a beautiful smile just like your mom.”  
  
“Even if yours is even more beautiful.” His mom said and with that they were walking down the path that took them to center.  
  
There were palms surrounding the lane and Jensen thought it wasn’t a very good pick when it came to trees surrounding a center for Angels, like with the flying and all that, they could like hit their heads and then...  
  
“Welcome back Mrs. and Mr Ackles, hey there Jensen!” He heard the squeaky voice of Linda, one of the many mom’s of the center and as a reaction he squeezed his mom’s hand harder.  
  
“Hello Linda! Can we come in?”  
  
“Of course... So, this is the year, right?” All the over-excitement in Linda’s voice made Jensen nervous.  
  
He followed his parents thought the tour of the center as Linda chanted all the rules of the AAC, angel adoption center and all the numerous stories of success they had. Jensen didn’t pay any attention to that part because he knew it by heart, after four years those things tend to happen. He kept counting to ten, then again and again, trying to calm himself down but then he saw the huge green doors behind which all the other kids were waiting for the ceremony to start, and the panic was back.  
  
This will be the year. He said to himself and he walked towards the first line and sat down.  
  
  
  
“Jay please... We talked about this... Mummy’s gotta go... You’ve got to do this alone, remember?”  
  
Jared didn’t listen to his mother’s plea and buried his head in her neck, his arms around her. He really didn’t want to let go and he wished he could stay wrap in his mother’s embrace forever, her huge wings protecting him from the rest of the world.  
  
Jared was four years old and therefore, he didn’t want to be left alone. Not to mention that Jared was a very touch-orientated child, always kissing and hugging whoever was kind enough to take care of him. But not today. Today was the day Jared was supposed to be chosen by a human. He would officially become a companion, the greatest honour for an angel as his father kept repeating. Except that Jared wasn’t like the other angels.  
  
When others had two bright and beautiful wings, Jared only had one. Little and black, with little touches of green at the end of his feathers, Jared’s only wing was on his left side and it was the thing he hated the most about himself. He didn’t know why he was born like this, nor did his parents, it was just the way it was, no one seemed to be able to explain it. Jared was healthy as any other angel but he just had a black wing.  
  
Another thing he hated, the color... Every other angels at the center had bright big shiny wings, like that kid Chad, he had two white wings and apparently, he was this year’s favorite, the humans would probably fight for him. No one would fight for Jared, no one would pick Jared and he would go back to his room all alone. And that was what he was the most afraid about. And mainly why he had insisted on seeing his mother before the ceremony.  
  
“Can’t we wait until next year?” Jared whispered, finally raising his head to look into his mother’s eyes.  
  
“Jay...” She gently stocked his brown hair. “We already talked about this, it’s going to be just fine, someone will pick you up.”  
  
“No mom and you know it, no one will. Who would want me... I’m not even a real angel!”  
  
“Jared Tristan Padalecki... You are an angel, someone will pick you up and let me tell you a little something uncle Sydney told me.”  
  
Sydney was Jared’s mother’s human and he was nice, he always made some cookies for Jared and he had helped him learn the alphabet.  
  
“Your human won’t pick you because of your wings or because you fly higher or faster, they will pick you because you are unique Jay. Humans are afraid of being alone too and what they need the most is a friend, and this is why we are here.”  
  
Before Jared had a chance to reply, he heard Tom call his name, apparently it was time. Jared kissed his mum on the cheek and ran to the man. He didn’t really feel any better but he knew his mother was always right. He would just try his best and pray someone was stupid enough to pick him. Him, the one winged angel.  
  
“Come on kids, let’s go.”  
  
Jared and the others angels followed Tom through the corridors of the center they all knew by heart. They were going to the main room where the humans were already waiting for them. Jared glanced one last time at his mom and he smiled a little when he saw her waving at him. He then turned his head and looked at his feet, trying to not look too defeated. He ignored the others conversations, they seemed all pretty happy, they were going to leave soon. In those moments, Jared’s wing felt really heavy and it was falling a little bit on his shoulder. Jared wasn’t totally controlling his wing movement, Tom said it would come when he grew up.  
  
Jared looked up as Tom pushed the door to the main room. The other kids moved quickly, taking their places, like during the rehearsal. Jared felt his heart beat faster in his chest and he looked at the humans, sitting and looking at them. They were children too and they were with their parents.  
  
“Come on Jared... “ Tom was smiling at him and Jared took a deep breath before following him. It was too late to go back.  
  
Jared took his place between two others angels but he looked at his feet and chewed his bottom lip, avoiding the looks. He could feel the hint of blushing on his face and he really hoped he didn’t make a fool of himself. He didn’t listen to Tom’s speech as he greeted the audience, explaining to them what was going to happen. Jared could feel some gazes on him and he knew what they were all thinking: why do you only have one wing? Are you sure you really are an angel? Jared was maybe four but he wasn’t stupid and it was the same questions he heard all over again. His mom had told him just to smile and ignore them. So Jared did his best to smile.  
  
His smile didn’t last long because Tom announced they would proceed to the first task. Angels had three tasks to perform in front of everyone, those tasks were supposed to show their skills and their cleverness and also help the humans to choose. Except that the first task was flying. And Jared with his one wing, way smaller than the other’s children, was not very good at flying. He could managed to lift himself from a few feet if he was lucky, but others could already fly across the room and Chad was already able to go high in the sky and go back without any damage.  
  
Jared swallowed hard as they were all forming a line one by one. He somehow found himself in the middle, dreading the moment he would be in the front. People were applauding every time an angel rose from the ground and Jared watched them with envy. It was really frustrating to be an angel and be forced to be stuck to the ground.  
  
“And this is Jared.” announced Tom. “ As you can see, Jared is a bit special but he’s just as great as any others.”  
  
Jared did blush this time and when Tom winked at him, he knew he could do it. Maybe not fly across the room but still he could. Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Focus. He just had to focus really, really hard, and breathe, the key was to breathe... A radiant smile lit up his face as he elevated himself, feathers beating into the air. That was it! That was it! He was flying, higher than he ever did and...  
  
Before Jared had a chance to realize what was happening, he fell into the floor. Hard. Immediately, Tom and Linda were there to help him up but it was too late. It was too late, people were already laughing at him. Jared pushed them away and got back into the line, running. He bit his lower lip, and ignored the way his knees hurt, or how his wing felt heavier than before. He couldn’t cry now. He couldn’t cry even if he was going to be lonely all his life.  
  
  
  
People were mean and dumb, and of course they had to laugh. Jensen had almost stood up when the little angel fell, wanting nothing more but to help him. He threw murderous glances at the children laughing before he watched as the boy ran back at his place. He wanted to cry Jensen could see it and he fought the urge to run to his side, hug him and tell him it would be okay. Because damn... It was a nasty fall. But nobody else paid any attention and the ceremony kept going. Except that Jensen did pay attention to him.  
  
It was the first angel he had noticed. Or no, Jensen had noticed his wing. It was the first time Jensen had seen a wing like that. That color, that size and... It was just beautiful, black and falling elegantly on Jared’s left shoulder, covering his small body and protecting him from glances of people. Jensen didn’t even care about the fact that he only had one, it was beautiful, Jared was beautiful.  
  
The boy was as small as his wing but when he had smiled, brown locks falling back on his face as he was flying, he had looked so proud of himself so happy... That Jensen had smiled too, heart beating faster than ever, but now all that was over, the little angel named Jared stood at the end of the line looking mortified as all the others were ecstatically going on and on with all the other tasks. Jensen just sat there bored, looking at Jared and quickly looking away every time he looked back. He just felt weird and really wanted to tell him it was okay to fall.  
  
The last challenge was the most boring one, angel code or something, they all said the same things “you should pick me because...” Jensen didn’t really cared if they were the best, most of them looked to friendly, but to be honest, they scared him a bit. Like they were trying to force him into picking them.  
  
“Okay kids, we’ll have all our angels arranged over here.” Linda said pointing at her right. “And our humans over there so we can start picking, how does that sound?” She asked and the only answer she received was clapping and some whistling from both sides. Jensen kinda found her annoying, he preferred the other guy, but he stood up anyway, following the others.  
  
“Awesome!” she continued .“As always is in alphabetical order... one from the top, one from the bottom of the list, don’t get mad if somebody picks the one you wanted. I’m sure you’ll have just the right one.” Some of the kids rolled their eyes, everybody wanted to be the first to pick, Jensen could have swore he saw Chad’s wings flailing a bit, the certainty of being picked first showing to everybody.  
  
“ Here, first with A..., Ackles Jensen, choose properly boy.” Linda smiled and she extended her hand to him, clearly showing he had to take it. Jensen fought the urge to roll his eyes at her. Jensen made a few steps away from his parents and then stopped.  
  
“Hmm... I don’t really...” Jensen’s voice was almost too low to hear. “I don’t think I want to be the first one.”  
  
“You can get closer to them, ask questions if you want!” Linda tried to give him some courage.  
  
“No, I really don’t want to pick.” Jensen tried to give the last word as much gravity as he could. “First, can I... let someone pick first and then when I’m ready I’ll tell you?” He asked hands in his pockets and looking down. He tried not to bite his lower lip or blush, but the look other kids gave him made him understand he failed, he could heard them giggle and thought they all were very dumb, but he walked quietly back to the line.  
  
“Okay... Fine by me, so who wants to be first?” All the other kids raised their hands, some jumped yelling -me,me,me pick me !- Jensen just kept looking down until he felt his dad’s hand on his shoulder.  
  
“It’s fine Jen, something tells me you already know who you want...”  
  
Jensen smiled at his dad and waited. Other children picked their angels, hugging them and smiling. And as some random girl called Barbara jumped and hugged Chad while yelling “You are the best angel ever!” He raised his hand and said “I’m ready.”  
  
He walked to the front, this time on his own. He could feel all the angels getting more and more nervous as he paced before them. “Jensen are you sure you’re ready to pick?” Linda asked.  
  
“Yes I am.” He smiled “ I want him.” He pointed towards his pick and his smile grew bigger as the people in the room started whispering. Not a popular pick, he knew that. Not what the first kid in the line would have picked. He was starting to doubt his choice but when he turned around to find his mother trying not to cry and his father giving him a thumb up while grinning like a fool, he smiled and repeated loudly.  
  
“Yes, I want Jared to be mine.”  
  
  
  
As Linda told them to get in line, Tom looked at them expecting to do it as they did in the rehearsals. Obviously the tension made all the other angels forget about it and he was pushed around, got a bunch of feathers in his mouth...being short sucked. But by the end there he was at the end of the line, Jared Padalecki the one who would have been picked last...or not picked at all.  
  
He had a bit of hope when the first human being called was that kid, he looked nice, but he would pick Chad, after all everybody would have. Jared was almost sure of that but then he kept looking at him during the ceremony and maybe he would pick him and..and.. “I don’t want to pick first.” He said and with that all Jared’s hopes were crushed.  
  
His mom was wrong, Jared was going to be alone. No one would pick him. Not after he flew so badly, how he fell and... Jared could feel the tears forming into his eyes but he wouldn’t cry. No he wouldn’t cry here, he would wait until he was back into this room and hide underneath his cover, wing spread on the bed and then he would cry. And Jared watched as his line was becoming smaller and smaller, children choosing their angels. He had to look away when Chad was picked, the little girl seeming way too happy about it.  
  
Jared couldn’t watch that, it was too unfair, he felt one part of himself break and he asked himself when someone would smile like that because of him. Jared only turned his head when that voice raised up again. The boy who had been watching Jared during the ceremony. Please pick me. “I’m ready.” Please, pick me.  
  
Please. Please. Please. Please.  
  
Jared kept repeating the word in his head and he felt like his heart stopped when the boy stopped right in front of him.  
  
“Yes, I want Jared to be mine.”  
  
Jared looked at him for a few minutes, mouth opened and eyes full of tears now. He must have misheard. He must have. No one could pick him... And not a boy like him... He looked so pretty with his green eyes and his blond hair, and his batman t-shirt, but mostly it was his smile. Big and radiant, showing up the freckles on his cheek, coming up to his face. And he was smiling like that because of Jared.  
  
Jared stopped thinking as his body reacted on his own, he rushed to Jensen, crushing their bodies together, wrapping his arms around his neck and he cried. Right there. On his tiptoes, feathers brushing against Jensen’s body, head buried in his neck like he would do for his mother, and he cried.  
  
That was stupid but Jared cried, sobbing in Jensen’s neck, clung to him like his whole life was depending on it. He was ready for Jensen to call him stupid or anything and Jared was very surprised when he felt Jensen’s arms around him, pulling him even closer and yet being careful because of the wing.  
  
Jared cried even harder and he seemed unstoppable and he was never letting go of Jensen. Never. Jensen didn’t seem to mind and he stroked Jared’s hair gently, exactly like his mom would do but it felt better, it felt perfect. Jared didn’t care at all about people surrounding them, other kids choosing their angels too.  
  
He only noticed Jensen’s hands moving and he carried him back to the human crowd. Jared heard someone ask Jensen if everything was okay and Jensen just nodded, chin brushing against Jared’s hair. Jared found himself straddling Jensen’s lap as he was sitting in a chair, away from everyone it seemed.  
  
“Hey Jared... Stop crying, it’s gonna be okay.”  
  
Jared looked up at Jensen, smiling at him, amazed to see how green his eyes were.  
  
“Really?” He asked with a small voice. “You’re not changing your mind?”  
  
“Why would I?”  
  
“Cause...” Jared chew his bottom lip and then he finally admitted, whispering. “Cause I thought no one would choose me.”  
  
Jensen chuckled. “I’ve been coming here with my parents since I was four, I always went back alone.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Really.”  
  
“And you chose me? I’m gonna be the best angel ever! I promise.”  
  
Jared pressed Jensen into another hug, wing flipping with contentment. Jensen laughed again and it made Jared smile too. He promised himself he would do everything to make Jensen laugh like that every day. They kept talking for a while, Jensen asking him questions about his life at the center. He didn’t mention his wing once and Jared was glad. He admitted that he was a little bit jealous of Jensen’s batman shirt and Jensen said he could have it if he wanted. They were so busy with each other that they didn’t notice Jensen’s parents talking to Jared’s mother, three pair of eyes looking at them.  
  
It was going to be okay.  


→

  
Saying goodbye to his mom was painful and even if Jared knew he would see her every week end, he was going to miss her.  
  
“Be a good angel, won’t you Jay?”  
  
“I will mom, I promise I will.”  
  
One last kiss and he hurried back to Jensen, waiting for him by the car with his parents. They were nice, they told Jared he could call them Aunt Donna and Uncle Alan.  
  
“Ready to go Jared?” asked Uncle Alan.  
  
The boy simply nodded and he smiled when Jensen’s opened the door for him. Jared winced a little bit looking at the back seat, with his wing, it was going to be difficult.  
  
“Don’t worry... I’ll help you.”  
  
Jared looked at Jensen and climbed inside the car without any hesitation. Jensen helped him find a comfortable position for his wing and he fastened Jared’s seat bell before sitting next to him. Jensen’s father started the car and Jared took Jensen’s hand and was relieved when Jensen didn’t push him away. This was real. The ride was silent, Jared could see Jensen’s mother glance at them from time to time, happy smile on her face. Jensen had her smile and also her eyes, but the rest was his father’s.  
  
Jared looked back at Jensen: he was looking at the window, smile on his face, hand still holding Jared’s. He looked really happy, it was the first time Jared saw someone with that many freckles on their face and he found that cute.  
  
When the car stopped, Jensen helped him get out of the car and Jared took back his hand as they were making their way to the house.  
  
Their house now.  
  
  
  
Jensen held Jared’s little hand tight as he waited for his mom to open the front door, grinning down at his new friend. He could see Jared was just as nervous as he was exited, a new house, a new family, he understood why. He gently caressed his hand with his thumb.  
  
“You are going to love it here Jared, my room is a bit messy but...” Suddenly he stopped talking and pulled his mom by her skirt.“Mom! where is he going to sleep?”  
  
His mother smiled as she held the held the door opened. “Don’t worry about that, don’t you have more important things to... ” and before she even finished the sentence he was running past her carrying Jared behind him.  
  
“That’s dad’s study room, he doesn't really like when I play there but we can come here anyway, when he’s at work.” He showed Jared all the rooms of the house, noticing how the little boy smiled when he told him all the little secrets of the rooms, like “Here is where mom hides the candy, but don’t tell her I know or we won’t have more. Want one?” Jensen grabbed a handful of candies and handed it over to Jared who was now laughing uncontrollably. “Are those good?” Jared nodded, mouth full but smile still on his face.  
  
“I know the red ones are the best. Come on Jared we have the best part of the house to see yet!” Jensen started running down the hallway smiling as he heard Jared following him.  
  
“And this is my room...” Jensen opened the door and looked at Jared’s face.  
  
“Is this our room?” the little boy said Jensen nodded.  
  
“Yes it is!” All of a sudden Jared was pulling him in, more relaxed.  
  
“You have the new Action Man? This is the best room ever! “  
  
Jensen laughed as he stuffed his mouth with more candy. Since they got in the room alone Jared didn’t stopped talking, Jensen just sat down and listened to him, Jared’s rambling was cute and he didn’t seem to be able to stop talking as he touched everything in Jensen’s room, commenting in the process. Even the oldest things Jensen owned seemed beautiful when he played with them. The boy kept walking around, opening drawers, gasping and saying “wow” at everything new he found and suddenly he opened the closet  “Can I wear this shirt?”  
  
Jensen looked up to find Jared holding his old spider-man shirt, it used to be his favorite but now it didn’t fit him anymore. “Yes, you can wear it now if you want.” Jared smiled as he took off his shirt and started putting on the other one.  
  
“Should we make a cut for your wing? Is it comfortable?” Jensen asked, suddenly concerned and coming towards Jared. But apparently, Jared didn’t need his help, and Jensen watched, completely fascinated, the little boy folded his wing against his back, put on the shirt and moving his left shoulder a little so the top of his wing could get out of the shirt, next to his neck.  
  
“It’s p... perfect, I’m Spider Man!” Jared jumped around and started acting like he was throwing spider-webs around.  
  
“And I’m Batman, be careful Spider Man, Mr. Evil Bear is trying to attack you!” Jensen yelled as he started running around and punching random stuffed animals Jensen had forgot about until Jared took them out of that blue box in the corner of his room.  
  
“Batman I think we will need your bat-mobile! Fast!” Jared jumped on Jensen’s back and pointed towards the bed. Both kids were tangling in bed, fighting Mr. Evil Bear and trying to save the city, red cheeks from laughter when Jensen’s mom opened the door.  
  
She shook her head, looking at them. “Boys, dinner is almost ready and I expect this mess to disappear before that.” She smiled to make them understand she wasn’t mad but still she was serious.  
  
“But mom...”  
  
“No but or why Jensen, the rules are still the same even if Jared is here now.”  
  
“It’s my fault I’m s...sorry.” Jared said slowly, obviously scared he would get in trouble.  
  
“No, it’s not Spider Man, I’ve heard you and Batman fighting off those evil bears from the kitchen, just put them all in prison and go wash your hands dinner is almost ready”  
  
Jared smiled and jumped off the bed .“Okay Mrs...”  
  
“Her name is Mom” Jensen whispered to Jared.  
  
“Okay, Mom” Jared smiled and threw a teddy at Jensen. “Help me before they wake up!” Jensen could hear music coming from the kitchen, a good smell too, but he was too busy to ask his mom what was for dinner.  
  
He was too busy with his new best friend.

→

“Amen” Jensen said as soon as his father finished the prayer. He couldn’t wait to tell Jared about the neighbor's cat and the garden, school, his friends and... Just everything that made him special.  
  
“What’s for dinner mom? Can we have dessert after?”  
  
Alan just shook his head and told his son to calm down.  
  
“But that’s... Jared is starving.” Jensen replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
“Well, Jared could tell that for himself couldn’t he?” Alan winked at Jared, sat right next to Jensen.  
  
“I'm very hungry!” The kid said as soon as he said it Donna walked from the kitchen carrying a roast chicken with potatoes between her hands.  
  
“Awesome.” Both kids said. “I love chicken!” They exchanged a laugh and Jensen couldn’t help thinking he really did pick the right angel as his mom was filling their plates. Jensen didn’t pay attention to his parents, all his focus was on Jared. And he chuckled seeing Jared having trouble cutting his chicken. Jensen gave him a nudge and showed Jared how he was really supposed to eat chicken: with his fingers. Jared smiled as he imitated Jensen’s actions. Jensen noticed his mother disapproving look but against Jared’s smile... It didn’t really matter.  
  
And soon, it was time for dessert, a chocolate cake, Jensen’s personal favorite. And apparently, Jensen’s mom didn’t want them to eat that with their fingers either. Jensen waited until both his parents had their backs turned to do it and Jared laughed, hand on his mouth trying to be silent. One thing leading to another, because really, who wouldn’t want to hear Jared laugh all night? they both found themselves with chocolate all over their faces. A very good dessert, if you asked Jensen.  
  
Once they were both cleaned up, all the family ended up on the sofa, pressed together and drinking milk. “I love milk.” said Jared after he finished his glass in one long sip. He snuggled against Jensen, who caressed his hair and answered back with a yawn.  
  
“Mom where is Jared going to sleep?”  
  
“I think Dad has a surprise for both of you, a very important thing he had to do...and you should go check your room.” Donna said before holding her hand out for Jared to grab. “Want to see it ?”  
  
Jensen’s dad was covering his eyes, while his mom covered Jared’s. They all walked together down the hallway until they reached Jensen’s room. “Surprise!” Both parents said as they uncovered the kid’s eyes. “So do you like it?” Alan asked to Jared because he knew his son and that smile on his face only meant one thing. He loved it.  
  
There was another bed close to Jensen’s, exactly as his but with green sheets and a new teddy bear on it. Jared’s pyjamas were folded on top, for the first time Jensen realized this was happening, Jared was his angel forever, he would never be alone again. He had Jared.  
  
Jensen looked to his right to find Jared hugging his mom and saying thank you his voice filled with joy and love.  
  
“It’s been a long day, how about we wash up and try out this new bed?” Alan held Jared’s hand before going on “Jensen, I’ll help Jared washing up he’ll be back in ten minutes, can you do it alone tonight?” Jensen nodded “Sure, but tonight it’s my turn to pick the story then.” And with that he walked to the bathroom smiling. He had never been so excited about going to bed.  
  
  
  
It was by far the best night in Jared’s life. The house was absolutely glorious, he loved his new bedroom, Jensen’s parents were nice and mostly, Jensen was adorable with them. Jared was dreading the moment Jensen would realize Jared didn’t deserve all of this and throw him out. Jared would do everything he could to make Jensen’s happy.  
  
“Is that okay Jared?” asked Uncle Alan as he finished cleaning his wing. Jared shivered a little, it always tickled when somebody was touching his wing, and then he nodded.  
  
“Yes, this is perfect.” Uncle Alan smiled down at him and helped him dry up. This was different from the bathes he had taken at the center, they were his family now... Jared couldn’t wait to tell his mother about them and Jeff his brother, damn, he even couldn’t wait to tell his brother Jeff, even if sometimes Jeff was mean and pulled his wing. “Okay boy, this is the tricky part.” Uncle Alan helped him put on his pyjama pants, some of Jensen old ones apparently and Jared watched as he cut a hole in the shirt. “It should be big enough... now come here.”  
  
Jared did as he was told and seconds later he was fully dressed. He and Uncle Alan were back into the room. Jensen was already ready, sitting on his bed his pyjama on and a smile on his face as he saw Jared.  
  
“So Jensen... What story did you choose?” Jared sat down on his bed too and he watched as Jensen’s father sat on the floor, book on his knees. He started reading and during the whole time, Jared looked at Jensen. Jensen obviously knew the story by heart and he stuck his tongue out at Jared a few times, making him laugh. When the story was over, Jensen’s mother gave them both a good night kiss before turning the lights off.  
  
Jared held his new teddy bear close, eyes on Jensen’s bed, even if he wasn’t seeing him into the darkness. Jared really didn’t like to sleep like this, at the center, he was always asking Tom to let his door opened just so he could have a little bit of light. Jared’s breathing was heavier now and he was panicking. Who would want an angel that was afraid of the dark? Jensen was going to be so mad at him in the morning. “Jared? You okay?” Jensen suddenly whispered.  
  
Jared heard his cover move before he saw Jensen’s face. Jensen was holding a flashlight and Jared let a relieved sigh escape seeing him. “No... I... Jensen can I sleep with you?” He saw doubt crossing Jensen’s features and he quickly added. “Please. I... Just...”  
  
“Jared you’re supposed to sleep in your bed... I mean, maybe we can ask mum and dad to...”  
  
“No... No it’s okay. I get it! Good night!” Jared swallowed hard and he turned around, facing the dark. He was crushing his wing in the process but he was too busy pushing the tears away to notice the pain. Jensen eventually turned off the flashlight and everything went dark again. Jared was shivering in his bed and trying to calm himself down. He jumped when he felt something on the bed with him.  
  
“Jared, turn around... Your wing!” Jared did turn around and next thing he knew, he was pressed against Jensen’s chest, one of Jensen’s arms around him.  
  
“I’m sorry, it’s just...”  
  
“Shhh... It’s okay Jared. I am sorry...” Jensen stroked his hair, just like he had done it in the center and Jared breathed deeply, wing falling down and covering Jensen’s body. He heard Jensen chuckle.  
  
“What it is?”  
  
“Your feathers... They tickle.”  
  
“Oh sorry...”  
  
“Jared its okay, stop saying you’re sorry!”  
  
Jared was about to say sorry again but he closed his mouth. “Jensen?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“What does your mum call you?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Jensen is nice but it’s really long...”  
  
“Jen... You can call me Jen.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yep... As long as I can call you Jay.”  
  
Jared smiled against Jensen’s chest, this was how his mother held him every night. “Yes you can Jen.”  
  
“Good... Now sleep... We’ve got more evil bears to fight tomorrow. And Batman needs his Spider Man.”  
  
“It’s just... When I can’t sleep... My mom sings something to me on the phone.”  
  
“What does she sing?”  
  
“Dunno, she just does...”  
  
“Okay, if I sing, will you sleep?”  
  
“Promise!”  
  
Jensen sang and Jared fell asleep faster than he even remembered. He really couldn’t make out the words but Jensen’s voice was there, soft, low and comforting and his wing had a little movement, showing how happy he was, before everything went black.

  



	2. Chapter 2

Jared quickly learned that nothing was more important than Jensen. He followed him around from the morning to the time they both went asleep, Jared’s wing covering Jensen’s body way better than any cover. Aunt Donna had found them one morning like this and Jensen lied saying he was the one who asked Jared to come sleep in his bed. Later, Jensen had winked at him, clearly indicating that it was their secret. Jared loved that idea, their secret.

And soon, they were sharing absolutely everything, but Jensen didn’t seem to mind and he was always watching after Jared. Jared wished he could be tall enough to protect Jensen from the rest of the world. But for now, it was only Jensen protecting him. At school it was hard because they couldn’t be in the same class, even if Jensen had begged his dad to do something about it, but even Uncle Alan could do nothing. Jared was four and he needed to go with children of his age. Jensen gave him a hug right before class and he told Jared to tell him if anyone was mean to him. But other children were nice and Jared’s teacher was okay. One kids or two asked him about his wing, no big deal.

During breaks, Jared would rush to Jensen’s side and they will play together, forgetting the rest of the world. Then they had to go home and it was time to do their homework, Jensen always helping him when he was having some troubles. They would play some more, in their room or in the garden before Jensen’s mother remind them to wash themselves. Uncle Alan would help Jared get cleaned up and from time to time, Jensen would sneak into the bathroom and ask his father questions, wanting to know precisely how he was cleaning Jared’s wing. Jared always blushed in moments like that because Jensen really seemed to care.

Dinner time was always fun because Jensen was telling his parents all about his day and he always seemed to have an opinion on everything. Then, they would turn to Jared and ask him too. The first time, Jared had blushed, mouth hung opened, not knowing what to know, but they really seem to want to know, especially Jensen, so now Jared told them everything.

Soon, the week was over and it was time for Jared to go see his parents. Jensen insisted on coming with him and that made Jared more nervous than anything else in the world.

 

The first week flew by and when Jensen was woken up by his mom’s voice saying “Boys time to get ready, Dad is taking you to Jared’s house today!” Jensen laughed as he heard Jared jump out of bed, “Really?”

“Yes! really...now go wake up that lazy butt friend of yours, Jen I can see you are pretending, get up.” He heard his mum said before leaving the room.

Jared didn’t need to do anything to wake Jensen up, mostly because stealing his blanket to run around crying, “Yeah! We are going to see my mom!” was enough. Jensen rolled over, pretending to be pissed but there was a smile on his face seeing Jared, running around, jumping on his bed, wing flapping happily. The little boy didn’t seem to be controlling the movement and he had hit Jensen a few times with it, always apologizing a lot after. Jensen rolled his eyes, Jared was jumping on his bed now and finally said hello to Jared. Jared giggled before he replied. “Jen in the mornings you look like a lion...and a bear, but not scary, just funny!”

Jensen threw a pillow at him “I'm scary too.”

“Naaa you’re not.” Jared stuck his tongue out at him and kept on jumping on his bed.

“Of course I am!” Jensen attacked Jared, pinning the boy to the bed and tickled him, right on his hips and he watched as Jared’s face broke, the little boy laughing loudly, dimples on either side of his face. “J... Jensen... Pl... Please stop.”

“Fine.” Jensen chuckled and pulled away from Jared. Jared sat on the bed, smiling and he brushed his wing absently, eyes on Jensen, tears in them. “Hey Jay...the superhero tee’s are clean want to wear them?” Jensen suddenly asked, he made his way to the closet, picking some clothes for himself and his angel.

“Yes! And the cap too can we?”

“Okay, I’ll get them then just wait for me in the bathroom, okay?” Jensen asked as he took the caps and all the other clothes they needed before starting to walk towards the bathroom, following the little angel. Jensen never much liked showering in the mornings, but since he could do it with Jared and he got to play with his wing he liked it more. Jared always tickled him as he made funny things with the shampoo in Jared’s hair, Jensen’s personal favorite was the mohawks, Jared thought he looked dumb with it but he left Jensen do as he liked. Anyway, the bath in the mornings were better since Jared was there. Everything was better since Jared was there.

“Boys watch the water please, the bath is not a pool” Donna reminded them as she walked by the bathroom door to hear both boys laughing.

“Yes mom.” they both replied as they closed the door and noticed all the puddles they had made on the floor. Because as always, they had made a mess. But it was always the case, especially with Jared’s wings. They had to wash it properly and carefully and even if the little boy didn’t seem to care, Jensen did. A lot.

“I’ll dry it” announced Jared before stepping out and.... falling on the floor. He laughed and ran one hand over his ass, smile still there but hurt in his features too. “Ouch... Jen can you do it ?”

“Yeah..no problem.” Jensen smiled. “You just stay still and don’t fall.”

Jensen quickly dried the floor with the mop his mom had left outside the door and helped Jared dry up. Drying Jared’s hair and wings with the blow drier before dressing himself and the boy up. Jensen just loved those moments and despite what Jared could think, he would never get tired of taking care of him. It was like having a brother... but better. Moments later both boys walked to the kitchen, matching shirts and caps, smiling. “We’re ready.”  
→

Jared wouldn’t stop bouncing in his seat, making his wing brush against the back seat, looking at the window and chewing his bottom lip. Jensen smiled, he was nervous, off course he was, Jensen for once, wasn’t. He was eager to meet Jared’s parents and tell them how he was happy to have Jared as an angel. Jared always talked about his mother and other relatives with shinning eyes so yeah... Jensen couldn’t wait to be there.

“Are we almost there yet Uncle Alan?” finally asked Jared, breaking the silence in the car.

“No Jared... We’ve just got in the highway now.”

Jared sighed and ran one hand through his hair. Seconds later, he asked again. “And now Uncle Alan?”

“No Jared not yet... Count until 1000 and ask me then, I bet we’ll be close then.”

“But...” Jared had a small pout on his face. “But Uncle Alan... I don’t know how to count that high!”

Before his father had a chance to reply, Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand, winking at him. “I’ll help you... Come on Jay! One, two, three...”

They had barely reached the first hundred when Jensen noticed Jared had fallen asleep, Jared rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen stroked his hair for the rest of the ride, humming. In the end, both boys were asleep when they finally arrived. Jensen emerged from his sleep with a moan, trying to push whoever was waking him up. Then, he noticed Jared wasn’t on his side and he opened his eyes. He met his Dad’s face, he was smiling down at him. “Come on Jensen, come say hi.”

Jensen rubbed his face slightly before he stepped outside the car and... wow. Jensen’s jaw dropped at the picture he had in front of him, Jared was in a woman’s arms, laughing and kissing her, wing batting with contentment. That woman was beautiful, she had Jared’s hair, hers was longer, and also Jared’s smile, big and bright and her wings... They were just stunning, big and deep blue and they looked so soft. Jensen froze on the spot, suddenly very nervous about all of this and feeling very human. He watched as both his parents greeted Jared’s mother and finally they all turned to Jensen, Jensen looking at Jared’s face, nuzzled into his mother’s neck. Jared’s mother made his way to him and knelt in front of him, wings moving gracefully.

“Hello Jensen.”

“Hi Mrs Padalecki.” The boy managed to say.

“No... Her name is mum.” replied Jared, smiling at Jensen.

“No actually, my name is Sherri... But call me whatever you want, okay Jensen?”

Jensen nodded and took her hand when Sherri offered it to her and he followed her inside the house, totally mesmerized by her wings. Jared’s house was bigger than Jensen’s, it didn’t seem like a different house than his, it was just that everything was made for angels, from the doors that opened automatically to the larger couch with the pillow to rest their wings on it. To Jensen, it was just perfect. He totally forgot his parents and kept walking inside with Sherri.

“So this is our house Jensen, you and Jared are always welcome here, okay? I don’t want you to wait until the week end to come here, you can ask your parents to drive you here or you can give me a call, I will find a way.”

Jensen nodded, still watching fascinated how one of her wings was over Jared protecting him and brushing his face while the other one was on her shoulder. Wow... She controlled them so perfectly.

“And this is Meg, Jared’s sister.” Meg was the cutest baby ever Jensen decided as he took her in her arms, he stroked her two tiny wings slightly and she laughed. Jared’s smile, they all seemed to have it. “So... how is my place?” asked Jared, head on Jensen’s shoulder now.

“Awesome Jared... Just awesome.”

They spend their afternoon in the kitchen, playing around with Meg, Sherri would come from time to time to check on them but other than that it was good. Soon, Jensen’s stomach started to protest, it was hungry. He watched as Jared made him a peanut butter sandwich, totally in his element in this over sized kitchen.  
→

They were playing in Jared’s room, Meg had eventually fell asleep when a man’s voice, loud and clear, interrupted them.

“Looks like you are having fun boys.”

Jensen turned around to face one of the biggest, no... The biggest man he ever saw in his life. He stared at the long legs and his strong arms almost in awe, like he was looking at a real life superhero, then he saw the wings, huge even if closed behind his back. Orange, white and yellow feathers were matching to the tie he was wearing.

“Dad!” he heard Jared yell before launching himself to the man’s neck. Of course it had to be Jared’s dad, Jensen thought to himself. The smile, he had it too, so gentle and surrounded by those dimples...a good smile. It had to be Jared’s dad.

“Hello Jensen...won’t you give me a hug too?” Jared’s dad asked him, while opening his arms making a spot for Jensen.

The kid just nodded and slowly walked towards the man, getting under his arm he smiled when the man tickled him with his wings.

“I like your dad Jared”. He said.

“Yes, so do I.” replied the little angel before kissing his father on the cheek.

His father’s smile grew bigger and Jensen kinda hoped one day Jared’s would be like that. “So Jensen you can call me Jerry...and this...” He pointed at the door, Jensen realized in that moment there was another angel. “Is Jared’s big brother, Jeff... he came here specially to meet you. Didn’t you Jeff?”

Jeff was a grown up, but no like his mom or dad were, he was old but in the cool way. He was leaning on the door, blue wings against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he smiled.

“Yes I did... because Jared doesn't love me anymore, so I’m looking for a new brother.” He tried to look offended while talking to his father and acting like Jared was invisible.

“No!” Jared ran towards his brother. “I still love you Jeff, you are the best big brother ever...”

“Oh god...what is this tickling me? Dad you bought a dog and never told me?”

Jerry chuckled. “No, why?”

“This hairy thing...Around my legs... Oh lord what is that?”

“It’s me Jared!” The little boy yelled and jumped around his brother and Jensen couldn’t help but laugh. Jared was just too cute, bouncing around, his wing moving in the process. “It’s me!”

Jeff leaned down and frowned. “So you are Jared?”

“Yes I’m your brother...why don’t you remember me?” Jared jumped on his brother, making him lose balance and land on his butt before kissing his brother’s cheek.

“No, no, no... Now all your germs are on me...” Jeff said whining as Jerry stood by his son’s bed laughing as he contemplated the scene. His older son on the floor and his younger on top of him tickling each other, feathers flying everywhere. Jensen stood on the side, sat on the floor next to them, big grin on his face. He looked at the two brothers and wondered how it would feel to have a brother too, but then he had Jared now.

“Hey there...This is not a free show buddy.” said Jeff to Jensen as he pulled him closer to them with his wings, indirectly adding him to the rumble without questions.  
“Jensen help me, he is tickling me...” Jared said in between little yells.

Before they noticed the little tickle fight converted in a full on pillow war, the count of time lost, covered by the boys laughter. Jeff let the boys play between his wings, they were adult wings, big and colorful. So soft and they smelled like anything Jensen ever smelled before, maybe every angel had a special smell, Jeff’s was nice but Jensen couldn’t help feeling like Jared’s would have been better.

“Look Jensen I have big wings now!” said Jared as he leaned against his brother’s back.

Jensen looked at his friend and frowned, yes the wings were beautiful but they were not his.

“I like yours better.” Jensen said as he played with a little toy car he found laying around. “Yours will be prettier.” He just knew it.

Jeff nodded to that. “That’s true Jay.”

“No it’s not, don’t lie.” said the little boy

“Do you know how I can tell? Because this little black feather here already grew so much since the last time I saw you. Before you know it, you’ll have the biggest wing any angel has ever seen.” Jeff said as he played with his brother’s wing, running his fingers between the little boy’s feathers.

Jared giggled and rolled his eyes. “No... it won’t”

“Yes, I’m telling you and I’m always right. You know it.” Jeff stood up and walked toward the door “Anyway... Mom is going to need help in the kitchen, you guys coming?”

 

Jared loved helping his mum in the kitchen, because it meant that he could get to touch what they were going to eat with his hands, and as a four years old angel, there was nothing more funny in the world that having your hands covered with tomato sauce. But right now? It was even better, better because Jeff and Jensen were at his side. Meg was in her baby chair, smiling at them, aunt Donna was making a pie while Uncle Alan and Jared’s dad were setting up the table.

The boys were carefully following Jared’s mom instructions, Jeff was in charge of the salad while Jensen and Jared were making the pizzas for everyone. For a few moments, Jared watched with a smile on his face at Jensen using the rolling pin, making the pizza dough ready. He was beautiful like that, smile on the corner of his lip and Jared was so happy he had picked him.

“Oh Jay is dreaming again!” said Jeff, passing next to him.

“I am not! I am helping!” replied Jared sticking his tongue out of his brother.

Jared saw Jensen laugh and lean closer. “Hey do you need help with that?”

“No, no it’s okay... I never knew cooking was that fun... We are so helping my mum next time, okay?”

“Yeah okay, I’m sure she will love that.”

“Yep... There all done!” Jensen announced proudly. “So now what?”

“No this is the fun part!” Jared said grinning. He took the tomato sauce and with a spoon he put some all over the dough, just like his mother had taught him to. Soon, Jensen understood, and he helped him too.

“So... do you regret picking me up or...?” whispered the little boy.

Jensen laughed and he put some sauce on Jared’s nose. Jared giggled a bit at that but then he bit his lower lip when Jensen was silent. He really wanted to know what the older boy thought, if he did regret his decision or not. But Jensen didn’t get the chance to answer, Jeff sneaked in on them, declaring they needed to hurry because he was hungry. Soon enough, everything was ready and, after washing their hands, and Jared his nose, they all sat down at the table. It was the best family dinner ever and Jared really hoped Jensen felt the same way. He really hoped so.  
→ 

The ride back to Jensen’s house was very silent and in the car, Jared was fighting to keep his eyes open. Jensen was holding his hand and Jared wished he never had to let go. It had been the perfect night, they had watched some movies and played some board games before it was time to go home. The boys still had their homework to do and school on Monday, and of course, Jared’s family members had to go back to their humans. In fact, the boy was only upset about one thing, Jensen not answering him. Okay, he did say his house was fine and he did have fun with Jeff and Meg. But what about him? Jared turned his head and looked at the boy. He really didn’t want to lose him. And he needed to know for sure, now... otherwise... Otherwise, he would rather go home right now.

“Okay boys.” said Uncle Alan as he pushed open the door of the house moments later. “Let’s all go to bed, shall we?”

“Yes Dad.” Jensen kissed both of his parents and Jared did the same before following him. Jared brushed his teeth silently and put his pyjama on not facing Jensen. He didn’t know how it felt and it was confusing.

“Hey Jared... Dad won’t read us a story tonight... want me to do it or are you really tired?”

Jared spun around, t-shirt still in hands and looked at Jensen, he was already all dressed up for bed and he was smiling at him. Jared felt a ache in his chest, the same one he felt when he was silently begging for Jensen to pick him that first day they met.

“... Jared, you okay? Need help with your shirt?”

Jared nodded even if it was a lie, even if he wished it was the contrary, he loved Jensen taking care of him. “There you go, Jay.” Jared looked up at Jensen, green eyes looking down at him and he just knew what he had to do. He moved really quick and going on his tip toes, he wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck and kissed him.

On the mouth.

Jensen’s lips were soft and tasted strawberry like the toothpaste they were using. Jared pulled away. Jensen was looking at him with big eyes.

“Oh... I didn’t... I’m...”

“Why did you do that? Jared you...” Jensen put his hand on his mouth and he blushed.

“It was... It was a good night kiss.”

“I thought... we’re not supposed to kiss like that Jared.” Jensen mumbled over his head.

“Please, please don’t be mad at me. Please?” Jared bit his lower lip for a brief moment and then he continued. “It was just a goodnight kiss... I... At school the teacher told us you kiss someone like that only if you love that person and...I love you Jensen.”

“I...”

Jensen’s blushed even harder, freckles well visible on both of his cheeks, his hand had left his mouth and it was opened like he meant to say something. But nothing came from his lips. Jared sighed, heart feeling heavy.

“That was silly I’m sorry, please forgive me. Won’t do it again.”

Jared spun around, ready to crawl into his bed and cry, but that was before Jensen grabbed him by the shoulder and made him turn back, crashing their lips together. Another kiss as chaste and quick as the first one.

“I love you too Jared. And I know picking you up was the right thing to do. Now good night.”  
Jensen was still blushing and he gently rubbed Jared’s hair before heading to his bed.

Now it was the best day of Jared’s life.

8 years later

 

From that afternoon in late May in which Donna gave the boys new bikes, a few bruises and tears after, Jensen finally taught Jared how to ride his bike properly...starting from there we could say everything went downhill. Without noticing, time flew by. There were four birthday cakes to bake each year, two new sets of uniforms and two back packs to buy each September.

In no time Jared learned how to read and write, quickly devouring all the books that were available in the house (which Donna approved of). Test after test, report card after report card the boys grew up. All the stuffed animals and toys were resting in a box at the back of the garage, most of the superhero posters were gone too, but both boys secretly kept one inside their closet, after all like Donna often told them “you are never too old to have a hero...and there is nothing wrong with it.”

Jensen was 15, and under the advice of his father he started delivering newspapers around the neighborhood, saving money for his future dream car. Jared was one of the only angels that went to school without their human, but he quickly found someone he could look after while he didn’t had Jensen close, his name was Zachary, or Zach like Jared called him he was funny and apparently he liked getting himself in trouble. Mrs. Samantha assigned them together, mostly because both boys could use a good friend.

On the other hand Jensen was one of the few - they could be counted in the fingers of two hands- of the angel-less students. And even if he didn’t like to admit it was easier focusing on the boring stuff they taught him without Jared there to make him smile, he found himself spending more and more time with Misha, the weird kid that kinda scared him in elementary but now that he was older , he discovered the guy was actually cool, in a very weird and creepy way. Misha liked to climb trees in his free time-when he was in all kinds of extravagant school clubs, most of them his own idea- things that made everybody avoid him. He was fluent in Russian and Spanish, as well as one of the top students of the carpentry class and Jensen’s team mate in the mathatletes.

Misha had an angel too, his name was Sebastian and he was older and Misha lived with him, apart from that the guy remained pretty mysterious to Jensen. Then there were Steve and his angel Rick, who were a year older and showed them the ways of the high school survivor that was basically a list of people who he should avoid. Misha was frequently added to it, just to be removed after two days, sometimes he even added himself to the list. He met Danneel, his now lab partner and Genevieve her angel, in Mr. Kripke’s class, he quickly came to the conclusion that they were both too smart to be that pretty, and he kinda needed to learn how to become inmune to their charms because taking their books all over school was kind of too much.

And that was how all of a sudden Jensen found himself with a good group of friends, a bunch of books to study from and many responsibilities. Little to no time to play around with Jared anymore, who was also busy with school tasks, and about to graduate from elementary. They did still study together, watched the same movies and read the same books, so they could discuss them together and occasionally flail about them, especially about the bond girls, both boys grew with an appreciation for them.

They spent all their free time at the lake, thing that made Jared get in the swimming team at his first trial, and automatically converted Jensen in the biggest cheerleader ever, he made everybody go to Jared’s competitions even if they were just friendly reunions with other teams, he had to be there for Jared. Soon enough Misha and Seb started making posters for their little champion, Danneel and Genevieve had slogans ready to cheer him with, while Rick and Steve just laughed at their friends and winked at Jared while giving him a thumbs up after every victory.

All the little worries Jensen had about his new friends and Jared not getting along faded away as quickly as they appeared and he found himself with a new, bigger family yet again. And one of Jensen’s favourite memories was actually their first Christmas away from both of their families. Jensen’s parents were supposed to go see some families and Jared’s folks were busy with their own humans, and Jensen really didn’t want to part for that much time. So they had found the perfect solution: Uncle Jeffrey and his angel Jim. They lived one hour from their house and Jensen could still sometimes remember the smile on Jared’s face as they were making a snowball fight, or how he would blush seeing both Jeff and Jim, arguing about the most random stuff like an old married couple. But the best part had been when they finally made snow angels and Jensen had seen the sadness into Jared’s eyes, seeing his own reflection in the white matter. Jensen didn’t even hesitate and lay in Jared’s snowprint, smile on his face.

“I think this is the best snow angel ever.”

 

“Jen.. wake up... come on... wake up before they come in.”

Jensen moaned, eyes closed, and with one hand, he tried to push whoever was trying to wake him up. Wait, he knew that voice and he also knew what today was. Jensen moaned even more in his pillow, smiling a little when he heard a laugh filling the room.

“I know you are awake, stop trying to fake sleep... ‘M supposed to be the kid here, remember?”

Jensen opened one eye then two and he was immediately greeted by Jared’s face and Jared’s bright smile and Jared’s wing battling away, like it usually did when he was happy. But, Jared didn’t attack him like he used to do, he well knew by now Jensen wasn’t a morning person, he needed a few minutes to himself. Jensen rubbed one hand over his eyes and readjusted on his bed. Jared still didn’t move but he bit his lower lip, looking expectantly at him. Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Come on... go ahead.”

“Happy Birthday Jensen.”

And then, Jared did jump on him. He wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck, pressing their chests together, laying small kisses on Jensen’s temples, his feathers brushing Jensen’s face. Now Jensen was fully awake, Jared was taller than most boys and angels of his age, his wing had grown a lot so hugging him always felt warm and comfortable and … good. Jensen’s stomach twitched as Jared’s hair brushed against his lips, the feeling nice, sending shivers down his spine and even lower to his p... Wow. No. Stop.

Jensen managed to break their embrace, Jared looked hurt but his smile eventually came back. It was all Jensen’s fault anyway, it happened more and more often but... How was he supposed to control his body’s reaction around Jared? The young boy was still however holding his hand and Jensen looked down smiling a little.

“You said they were coming? Who? And where’s my gift?”

“I meant Aunt Donna and Uncle Alan... I think I heard something about a chocolate cake.”

“And... what are we still doing up here?”

Jared laughed at his comment, Jensen scratching his belly with his free hand. “Mmm gee don’t know Jen, getting ready for school?”

“Yeah... that... fuck.”

“Oh that’s a bad word, Jen.” Jared replied with a smile on his face.

“Oh shut up.” Jensen rolled his eyes once more before he stood up. “So Jay... where is my gift.”

“Hmm... You’ll get it later.”

“What? No fair... please.”

“... No. Later Jensen... Now I need to go tell aunt Donna you are awake, go get ready.”

“Yes mum...”

Jensen watched as Jared left the room, only breathing correctly once he was alone. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn’t supposed to be turned on by Jared’s small touches, Jared was his angel, his brother, his best friend his... everything. He shouldn’t think about him that way. Maybe it was hormones and all that shit? Hell he was 16 now, it made sense. Yes, that idea comforted Jensen as he stepped into the bathroom. He took a quick shower before wearing his favourite outfit of all: his Led Zeppelin t-shirt and some low pants. And then he went down to the kitchen. He paused on the doorstep, looking at his family, Jared was reading the journal with his dad, both of them sitting side by side, his mum was lightening some candles on the biggest chocolate cake he had ever seen. Jensen grinned like a fool before he stepped inside the kitchen.

“So is that for me or what?” Jensen’s mum’s reaction was immediate and Jensen couldn’t help but roll his eyes when she basically attacked him, kissing both of his cheeks. “Mum... Mum, please, stop it.” he said with a smile on his face as she kept kissing him. “I’m sixteen now, mum...”

“You’re still my baby Jen.” She pinched his cheek and Jared laughed, obviously enjoying the situation a little bit too much. “Dad... help please?”

“All right son, I’m coming to rescue you.” As he said that, Alan folded the newspapers and made his way to them, Jared on his heels. “Honey, I think Jensen here does have a point.” He wrapped one arm around his wife waist.

“Okay fine... no more kissing or hugging... But can I at least give him his present?”

“What present? I have a present?”

“Off course you have a present, son... It’s waiting for you outside.”

Outside? Wait... no way. “Oh no you didn’t...” Without even thinking twice about it, Jensen ran outside, opening the front door, and he saw the most beautiful car even standing next to the family car. A 65 red mustang (a sleek black 67 Chevy impala). “Oh my... it’s for... it’s...” Jensen couldn’t even talk and he barely noticed Jared following him as he made his way to the car, almost too afraid to touch it. It was and always had been his dream car and almost no one knew that.

“Jen... breathe.” He turned to Jared and almost kissed his angel right there, because he was so happy. He didn’t because his parents were catching up with them, Alan handing him the keys. “I made a few arrangements in the seats for Jared... Just drive safely, okay?”

“Of course dad... fuck can’t believe it’s mine.”

“Jensen, language!”

“Sorry mum it’s just... a lot... Thank you.” Jensen hugged both his parents before turning to Jared.

“Come on Jay, I’m taking you to school.”

 

“Next stop loosertown!” said Misha from the back seat, Danneel and Genevieve started to laugh immediately.

“Hey Mish, my car my rules. Nobody can call Jared a looser except me. Okay?” Jensen said while he petted the wheel with one hand .“My beautiful baby.”

“And that’s why you will be forever single.” replied Misha. Genevieve chuckled slightly and Misha added. “What? he calls the car baby... its' a car Genevieve, don’t look at me like that. HE is the weird one.”

Jared could hear the giggles of the girls in the backseat, he listened to them talk to Jensen and smiled, trying to keep himself busy with the stereo. He liked them a lot, but jealousy was stronger than the appreciation. It wasn’t fair they got to have Jensen all day and ride in the car with them, he secretly hoped today would be the first and only time for him and Jensen only. He would give Jensen the time to brag about his new “baby” but he hoped he could have the thirty minutes drive all for himself. Jared knew it was totally selfish to think that way, that Jensen wasn't only his human to protect and look after, there were also other people that cared deeply about him. First of them being Misha, or the weird one like Jared liked to call him in his head, Danneel, the perfect one and Genevieve, her angel with two perfect wings that she had elegantly folded on her shoulder before climbing into the car, Danneel's grinning with pride at her angel.

“Here we are, still ugly as it was last time we saw it.”

Jensen smiled as he parked in front of the old school building then he pulled over to Jared’s side and kissed him on the cheek. “Off you go, angel boy be good and all that crap. Okay?”

Jared rolled his eyes as he opened the door. “I’m always good, you on the other hand...” he smiled when Jensen pouted.

As soon as he closed the door Danneel was slipping into the front seat and buckling up. “We’ll see you later, have a nice day, Jay!”

No. Nobody called him that except Jensen and his mom, what the hell was she doing? and why was her hand on Jensen’s knee all of a sudden? A cold chill ran like electricity everywhere on Jared’s body. His head spun for a second, as he was trying to swallow down his anger and his jealousy. He managed to smile and finally answered. “Yeah sure...thanks. Same back at you Danneel.”

Jared did like her, she was nice and pretty, she smelled good and had good grades, had nice hair a beautiful smile all that while being a very good friend, and those were all the reasons while he kinda hated her too. He was jealous of her and the way she was touching Jensen all the time, like only he should have the right to. He was jealous of her and he was scared too. Scared because she could take Jensen away from him in a snap of fingers if she tried hard enough and most of all he was terrified Jensen would want her too, maybe they were already together and Jensen hadn’t told Jared about it, just because he was too young to understand...and...and...

Jared could feel his hands sweating and a weight pulling him down starting at the pit of his stomach.

“Hey…Jay…” Jensen said with a questioning voice. “Jay?... See you in the parking lot at 4.30 okay? Now we gotta go or we’ll be late.” He said while scratching his head. “ Love you.” With that and a smile he was driving off.

Jared stood there, waving at Misha and Genevieve as they stuck their heads out of the window and waved back at him. He could see Danneel’s hair gently dancing with the wind, as she took his spot at Jensen’s side for yet another day.

“You too.” he whispered before starting to walk towards his school and getting ready for another awfully long and boring day.  
→

Jared smashed close his locker. “Damn science class!” He said as his book fell on the floor, but there was Zack getting it from him.

“Dude…Having the locker under yours must be one of the most dangerous things I’ve ever done in my life.” He complained. “ You gotta clean that, it's not a trash can..and if one more book hits me in the end there is no way I’ll make it to college.”

Jared laughed, he was still pissed about the whole going to a school that was not Jensen’s deal and the "Danneel issue", but Zach was always here to make him smile. Jared was more than glad they were friends. “My locker is my kingdom… and I say let there be freedom”!

“No Jared that’s not freedom, that’s a big mess!”

Jared grunted as he tried to close the locker again, which made his wing open and some feather go inside Zach’s mouth.

“I told you already I'm not interested in frenching with birds.” Zach hit his wing away as he scraped his tongue clean on his shirt. “ A damn bird that eats like a freaking pig. Yeah..that’s my friend. I don’t even know what I've done wrong.” He said as they walked to their class together. Zach was always mocking him, so to make things even, Jared hit his friend in the head with the book he was holding.

“Right in the education, Go ahead!” said Zach while wincing. “Aggressive bird you are.”

Jared laughed at that comment. “And you’re a dumbass” He shrugged with the reply.

“And that’s all on you Jared…All on you.” the boy looked at Jared and poked his tongue out and opened the door, quickly shutting it behind him, leaving Jared standing outside. Hahaha, very funny, thought Jared as he opened the door, going inside just in time apparently, because the bell rang at this precise moment, the teacher giving him a disapproving look. And of course, when he sat down at his seat, Zach, smiled on his face, asked. "What took you so long J-bird?”

And maybe, just maybe his mood got a bit better.  
→

Of course, it didn't last long, it never lasted long actually. When Jared came back home from his swimming practice that same day, he was greeted by Danneel's laugh, coming from the garden. He frowned and dropped his bag in the house, before following the noise. He found Misha, Genevieve, Danneel and Jensen in the there, sat on the grass, plastic cup in hands, barefoot. Jensen was standing in the middle of them, apparently telling a joke. Jared paused for a second, watching Jensen. He looked so beautiful like this, so careless and free, all the freckles on his skin shinnying elegantly.

Jared knew Jensen hated the freckles, which was totally stupid according to Jared, they made him even more beautiful. Jared sighed wondering if he should disturb them or not. In moments like this, Jared wished he was the same age as Jensen so they could be together all day long. He watched them from afar for a few minutes before aunt Donna, carrying a cake, came from behind him.

"Well don't stand up there Jay… Come on, we've got a birthday to celebrate."

"That's Jensen's birthday party? I didn't know." Jared froze even more on the spot, apparently not invited.

"Yes, I wanted to do something big, but you know how Jensen is… He like to keep things simple… Just like his father I guess." She sighed deeply, looking at her son. "Anyway, come on let's go Jared, it won't be his birthday party without you."

"You think so?" Jared asked weakly, looking up at the woman who became his second mother over the years.

"Of course Jared… Now come on, let's go."

He did follow her to the group of teenagers and a smile lit up Jensen's face as he saw his cake.

"Yes, chocolate my favourite!"

"We SO didn't notice, Jensen." replied Misha.

"Yeah you are so subtle about it." added Danneel.

"Will you please behave in front of my mum?"

"Hmmm… Na!"

They laughed and Jared was about to run away, because obviously aunt Donna had been wrong, when Jensen wrapped one arm around him, skin brushing against his feathers. Jared shivered a little bit at the contact, pressing himself against Jensen.

"How was your day little man?"

"Good."

"Really?"

Jensen looked down at him and Jared looked up, vivid green eyes full of concern on him. That was his Jensen, and Jared could never lie to him. He just shrugged and whispered.

"I had better days."

"Jay… It's my birthday, so it's an awesome day… Which means no way my little angel is going to be all grumpy…Want to talk about it?"

"No… Not really?"

"Jared you know you can…"

Jensen was interrupted by Danneel, who grabbed his hand and pulled.

"Come on Jensen, your mum lighten up the candles, you have to make a wish!"

Jared couldn't help but glare at her, his moment with Jensen apparently over. He broke their embrace, and went to sit down next to Genevieve. Jensen bit his lip looking at him for a brief moment before he spoke again.

"Dan we're not kids anymore we talked about this."

"Hey! I still ask for a unicorn for every of my birthday and I am proud of it!" She flipped her hair dramatically and Jensen burst into laughing, soon followed by Misha and Gen. Jared tried to ignore to ache in his stomach seeing them so happy and he focused on Uncle Alan telling Jensen to smile for the picture.

Aunt Donna was still holding the cake and staring at Jared, Jensen blew his candles and everyone applauded. They cut the cake and Misha and Jensen fought to have the biggest piece of cake, Jensen did win because it was his birthday after all and they ended all laying down in the grass stomach full, while Jensen's parents were back inside.

"So… still think my party is lame Mish?" said Jensen after a while.

“To be honest...yes” Misha said in a serious tone.

“Ouch” Danneel replied “we talked about being too harsh Misha didn’t we?” Jensen, Jared and Genevieve both laughed at that.

“What can we say... At least he is honest” Genevieve added while lightly slapping Misha.

“It wasn’t so bad dude, not my fault you are used to all kind of crazy shit.” Jensen defended himself, turning around to look at his friend.

“Not my fault, I have a better taste in parties..,that would be Sebastian’s fault” They all laughed at that "But let me tell you from the bottom of my heart… That chocolate cake was amazing… Bless your mum." he rubbed his stomach while saying it.

"Amen to that!" They high fived and Jared smiled at that. Jensen rolled to his side, apparently not bother at all to mess up his clothes, Jared chuckled when Jensen's body collided with him.

"You're stupid." They were face to face, both laying on the grass and Jared moved his wing so it was covering Jensen.

"And you love it." replied Jensen.

"So… Where is my gift Jared?"

"Hey! You have to ask nicely."

"Okay fine… where is my gift? Where is my gift? Where is my gift? Where is my gift?" Jensen kept repeating the sentence over and over again and Jared laughed, even more when Jensen started tickling him, Misha eventually coming up to help him.

"O… Okay… St… Stop!" They both stopped , Misha grinning at Jared.

"I say he didn't suffer enough Jensen, what do you think?"

"I think I want my present."

"Okay…" Jared wiped his tears and stood up slowly. "Okay, wait here."

Jared ran as fast as he could into the house, climbing the stairs to the room he still shared with Jensen. He was kinda surprised that Jensen didn't find his present, the boy had it for weeks now, hidden underneath his bed. Jared smiled proudly looking at it, already picturing the expression of pure awe on Jensen's face when he saw it. He grabbed it and ran back to the garden.

"Jensen you have to close your eyes!" He screamed as he opened the back door.

"Done!"

"Misha please cover his eyes…" Jared giggled, he could see Jensen rolling his eyes and accusing Jared of not trusting him.

"You don't trust me Jay? So unfair…" See? He did know him by heart.

"Come on Jared, I've got him." yelled Misha.

Jared giggled even more before making his way back to them, hiding the present behind him. Jensen was stood up now, Misha behind him, hands covering his eyes, huge grin on his face. Jared should have known Misha would love the idea.

"Okay, Jensen, hold out your hand."

Jensen obeyed immediately and Jared placed the present carefully inside his hands.

"Misha let go of him now."

Misha did, still smiling and Jared watched as Jensen's face passed from obvious annoyance to the surprise to… Happiness.

"You… you bought me a guitar?"

Without waiting for Jared's answer, Jensen's fingers ran on the strings before he proceed to examine the instrument. But the smile on his face, his way his eyes were shinning at that precise moment, it was all Jared needed and he couldn't help as his wing battled in contentment, momentarily forget his insecurities about not being old enough and Danneel stealing Jensen away from him. At that precise moment, it had zero importance. Jensen looked up and smiled at Jared, the boy feeling so happy he could have started flying from it.

"Jared this is… This amazing… I mean… How did you… fuck come here."

Still holding the guitar in one hand, Jensen ran to his side and hugged Jared with his free arm, the small boy wrapping his arms around his neck, burying his head inside of Jensen's neck, wing doing his best to cover him. That was his Jensen hugging him, the most important person in his world, the one he was in love with since he was four. When Jensen let go of him, Jared couldn't help the blushing on his face as Danneel and Gen were talking about how cute they are. Jensen ruffled his air slowly, Jared leaning into the touch.

"Thank you Jared… Really. I just… it's awesome."

Jared just shrugged, smile still on his face, it was really nothing, all he had to do was watch Jensen to know. He was a fan of rock and country music and he had asked uncle Jeff to teach him a few chords once in a while. So yeah, Jared had nothing to do with it.

"Now I'm jealous." Misha yawned. "Wish Seb would do something like that for me too."

"Oh don't push it Mish, Seb is awesome." argued Gen.

"True." added Danneel. "You're never happy anyway Misha."

"You girls are mean to mean… Jensen help me."

"No way Mish… Your mess."

"Oh I see Ackles… Why don't you play us something hmmm?"

"Yeah! Play us something!" requested the girls.

"Well… I…" Jensen glanced at Jared, a part of the boy wanting to hear Jensen play too. He knew Jensen had an amazing voice and he was always the one asking Jensen to sing or even hum something before bed time. "It's getting late guys… You should probably head home."

"What time is it anyway?" asked Danneel. "Oh my gosh, you're right, bye."

Jared didn't even react when she kissed Jensen on the cheek, too busy wondering why Jensen didn't want to play. Maybe he didn't like his gift after all. And Jared kept asking himself why long after everyone was gone, he was laying in his bed, wing spread on one side and he could hear the water running in the bathroom, Jensen was showering. The guitar was resting on his bed and Jared couldn't help but glare at it. It was probably a stupid idea, maybe Jensen didn't even want the damn thing in the first place. Jared sighed deeply, feeling sadness wash over him. He had always been able to read Jensen right, he truly felt like he was losing him.

"Thinking hard aren't we?" Jared went on his elbow, watching as Jensen was making his way back into their room, wearing his pyjamas, his hair still wet from the shower. Jensen moved around their room, picking things up for tomorrow, avoiding the bed. And the guitar. That was all Jared could take.

"If you don't like it, I can return it."

"What?" Jensen, apparently surprised, turned back to him.

"The guitar. I can return it and get you something else."

"What makes you think I don't… god Jared… why would you think that?" Jensen grabbed the guitar and went to sit right next to Jared on his bed. Jared leaned closed, resting his head on Jensen's shoulder, wing covering his own body.

"I don't know Jen… I mean… You didn't want to play and…"

"And you jumped to the conclusion of course…" Jensen pressed a kiss against the top of his head and Jared smiled slightly. "Gosh Jared, I didn't want to play in front of them… I'm kinda nervous you know?"

"Nervous you?" Jared pulled away a little, looking at Jensen. "You're never nervous."

"Fuck yes I am, all the freaking time, I'm just good at not showing it… Sometimes I wish I was more like you."

"Like me?"

"Yes, you just make your own way and do whatever you want to do, not caring about what anyone said about you or your wing. You are amazing Jared."

Jared was blushing hard at Jensen's word, both his cheek red. He wasn't what Jensen had just described. He wish he could, but no, he just… "Shut up Jen'." Finally said the boy, burying his face between his hands.

"Hahaha… I just love making you blush… so easy." Jensen chuckled. "So what should I play for you?"

The reality of the situation then hit Jared, Jensen was holding the guitar, Jensen was going to sing. For him. Just for him. Jared's heart raced a little at that thought, the blush on his face permanent it seemed. "Just… Play whatever you want." Jared moved a little bit on the bed so he could watch Jensen properly and he could see a slight blush on Jensen's cheek too, his freckles more visible than ever. He was indeed nervous. Good, that made two of them.

Jensen cleared his throat before he started playing the song was slow and he was focusing on his fingers, doing his best not to mess this up. Jared couldn't see how he could possibly mess that up. And when he started singing, Jared just knew he had picked the perfect present, Jensen's voice was low and deep. He wasn't singing very loud but his voice was following the melody gracefully, the mixed of both producing the most wonderful song Jared had ever heard. And at some point, Jensen looked up to him, smile on his face as he sang.

“I understand I wasn't part of the plan  
a dollar short, a minute early  
but I am your man  
so come on and face it  
so come on and face it  
it's time that we say it...”

And as Jensen was singing, eyes into Jared's, Jared realized there was something else he wanted, something else he needed to ask, that if he had it one time he could let go of Jensen and let him be happy. Because that was all he wanted, he just wanted Jensen to be happy at any cost, at any price. Jared didn't even realize Jensen had finished playing, he was too busy staring at his face, watching the line and the curves and the freckles he knew by heart now.

"Jay? Was it okay?"

"Hmmm…" Jared shook his head, smiling. "Yeah it was perfect."

"Yeah… sure." Jensen rolled his eyes. "I'll get better, you can be sure of that. Anyway… Time to bed little man." Jensen started to get up but Jared grabbed his free arm.

"Wait."

"What… What's wrong? You are scaring me here Jay."

"I know it's your birthday and everything but… Can I ask for something?"

Jared bit his lower lip, uncertain. Jensen smiled, sweet and loving, wrapping his free arm around Jared's waist, Jared finding himself trapped against Jensen's chest. He just loved that feeling and he gasped a few times before he was confident enough to look up into Jensen's eyes. Jensen's blushing was back, almost as hard as Jared and he put the guitar gently on the bed before he wrapped his second arm around Jared's, skin brushing against his feathers, both of their breathing heavy.

"What is it Jay?" Soft breath against his face, Jensen's lips so close to his own.

"Can you… can you please kiss me?" asked Jared as softly as Jensen. They did kiss, all the time, but not the mouth anymore. In fact, apart from the little incident that happen years ago, Jensen carefully avoided kissing Jared there. And it was slowly killing Jared because people were already starting to realize how amazing Jensen was, and he would go away. He would. Jared ran his shaky fingers on Jensen's jaw, his wing moving before he even realized it.

"Please… Please… Jensen just this one time, won't tell anyone I prom…"

And then everything fell into place when Jensen's lips landed on his own. Jared gasped, he didn't expect the contact to feel that warm, he gasped and opened his mouth, frozen on the spot. And soon his mouth was invaded by Jensen's tongue. Jensen lapping, marking and licking every damn corner and just… Kissing him. And Jared kissed him back. Yes he did, hands in Jensen's hair, he kissed him back, sliding their tongue together, feeling electricity running down his spine and a rush of adrenaline so fucking good and strong he could even feel it running through his feathers. Jared moaned, straddling Jensen's laps, as he deepened the kiss, his whole being screaming for more. More Jensen, just more, just a little bit…

The kiss was passionate and hard right now, Jared loving the feeling of Jensen's too big tongue inside of him. And when Jensen pulled away, Jared almost fell back on the bed. No, no, no, all of sudden Jensen was gone, at the other side of the room. No.

"I…" Jensen ran one hand over his lips, breathing hard. "Good night." And with that, he grabbed his guitar, put it on his desk and turn off the light.

Leaving Jared in the dark.

→

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song reference: Love Soon by John Mayer


	3. Chapter 3

  
  
That morning Jensen woke up before his alarm clock rang. He had only slept a few hours and badly, his dreams haunting him. Dreams of sweet eyes and soft wings, familiar laughs, little smiles, hugs, kisses...He turned around to look at Jared sleeping, smiling at the sight of him, licking his lips as a reflex, looking for a hint of Jared’s lips, hoping it would still feel like him, but sadly it didn’t. He thought about how shiny and red the angel’s lips were last night, how they felt against him, nervous and unsure but full of want, how perfectly they had moved against him almost like they had it practiced, like those hot synchronized swimmers they enjoyed watching during Jared's training, with no need for words between them just contentment. He thought of how good it was, how it felt like home before something heavy and sharp moved inside him.  
  
Jensen rarely felt that pain, shame, he had rarely felt guilty before and it was for a broken window or a stolen candy, nothing to compare with...with what he did, with what he let himself fall into. The wrongness of it all... It was crazy and he couldn’t even repeat what he did, maybe if he never said out loud what happened it wouldn’t be real, he would stop wanting and stop needing, but his brain and his body disagreed.  
  
He kept thinking about how much he wanted it all over again, and more, harder longer, how smoothly it worked, how easy it was, and how it shouldn’t feel like that. How he shouldn’t corrupt his angel, ruin his little brother, his best friend... his Jared.  
  
Jared turned around in his bed, his wing draped over the cover, flapping gently like it always did when he had good dreams, that usually involved him and flying. Jensen sighed and quietly stepped out of bed, trying not to make a sound, not wanting to wake him up. He ran into the bathroom and started undressing himself before the mirror, only the dim light of the morning filling up the room.  
  
“Fuck.” he whispered to himself as that word had some special meaning that revealed everything he felt, rubbing his face and closing his eyes “Fuck.” he repeated. Jensen turned on one of the lights before stepping into the shower, not bothering to turn the heater on, needing the cold air on his skin. Eyes closed he washed himself quickly, trying to avoid touching himself, the morning wood caused by the pictures that replayed before his closed eyes did not deserved to be resolved, he turned the water even colder and took a deep breath.  
  
“No, I can’t ” he bit his lower lip, wishing it could take away the want he suddenly felt, the guilt and hope that all this feelings could go away, and as his hands gently soaped his body up, wishing it could touch more but his brain stopped him. Jensen forbad himself to feel pleasure, to completely cross the line, but by the time he was done, his eyes were full of tears, that started running down his face into his cold skin, he was shaking.  
  
Jensen stepped out and quickly dried himself avoiding his image on the mirror, he shook his head, “no, this is wrong” chanted in his head as he rubbed the towel against his skin forcefully, trying to get rid of that sensation of being dirty, “it was a mistake” and “never again” were the main concepts he tried to convince himself of, lying to himself shamelessly knowing that anything that felt that good couldn’t be wrong or a mistake, feeling that if he had the chance he would kiss his angel again in a heartbeat. His skin was red from the friction by then but the feeling of dirtiness still there with no intention of going away any time soon.  
  
He picked up his favourite hoodie, the one he wore whenever he was feeling sad, from the drier and wore it directly over some old jeans he found around, not bothering to walk back into his room to look for some socks and risking waking up his...Jared, so he just stepped into his shoes, he always hated the feeling of walking around with gym shoes and no socks, but that’s the least he deserved, so he sucked it up.  
  
The kitchen was empty, no coffee, no mom to kiss good morning and pick lunch from, just him and some random fruit fly. He took a pen out from his backpack and wrote a note for his mother and Jared, saying he left early for the library. To study what he didn’t know, but nobody needed to know that, he picked up a green apple that looked good enough to be his breakfast, picked the car keys from the key holder and walked out.  
  
Leaving the house earlier than he ever did, he would had to wait three hours in the school’s parking lot, but at least he wouldn’t be taunted by his own room, birthday gifts...or by his angel until four thirty. That left him with twelve hours to think about what he would do and how to fix himself.  
  
And after a lot of thinking, Jensen came to the conclusion that something like that should never happen again. Jared was his brother and he was going to behave like one. And it was all.

→

Except that following his own plan was harder than Jensen’s thought. Sure, he could still talk to Jared, it would have been impossible for him to go through a day otherwise, but no more touches. Which meant no more pats on the shoulder, or hugs, or kisses at the top of his head. And a few days later, Jensen found himself missing the heat of Jared’s small body, the soft brushing of his feathers against his skin and... Fucking fuck, no. Not right now, they were having breakfast. Jensen bit his lower lip, before focusing on chewing on his pancake, avoiding Jared who happened to be sitting right in front of him.  
  
The kitchen was quiet except for Jensen’s mother still making some more pancakes and his dad, reading the newspapers. Usually, the kitchen will be filled with Jared and Jensen’s voice, making plan for the week end, talking about Jared’s school or anything that would cross Jared’ s mind, Jensen being always cool with it. But not these past mornings, these past mornings it was dead quiet and from time to time, Jensen’s dad will glance at both his boys probably wondering what was going up. Jensen sighed, still avoiding Jared’s gaze and reached for the orange juice, Jared did the same thing and their hands touched briefly before Jensen snapped his own hand away. No. He looked up to Jared’s, and for a brief moment he saw the sadness and the hurt on Jared’s face. His angel who used to smile every time he looked up at him, and now he just looked broken. Because of Jensen. “May I be excused?”  
  
“But Jensen... You barely touched your breakfast.” His mother replied, obviously looking concerned. Jensen could feel Jared’s gaze on him, burning his skin. He didn’t dare to look at him again, instead he pleaded with his mother with his eyes.  
  
“Mum please...I need to go... school and...”  
  
“You’re not taking me?” Jared’s voice, so small. Jensen still didn’t turn his head.  
  
“Mum, please take him to school, need to go...Danneel needs me ... school project...”  
  
“Well I guess I can take Jared to school, are you sure you are...”  
  
Jensen didn’t even let his mother finish his sentence, seeing a chance to get out of there before he would do something as stupid as grab Jared’s face and kiss him. Jensen highly doubted his parents would approve and he let out a cold laugh as he got into his car, starting the engine without thinking too much about it. Lately, high school was safe because it meant no Jared. Jensen was used to it, being on his own while most of the teenagers had their angels with them. Now, it seemed like it was his only refuge.  
  
And minutes later, Jensen was closing his locker with his forehead, closing it his head. He couldn’t make Jared’s face disappear. Jensen was trying to do the right thing here, he wanted Jared to grow up normal and be happy. He was sure once he grew up Jared would find a nice angel and get married and be happy and they would see each other from time to time, because Jared was his little brother and that was it.  
  
“Emo again today Jen? I swear this is getting old.”  
  
Danneel’s voice snapped his reverie and Jensen spun around, slight smile on his face.  
  
“Sup?” he simply said. He looked around and wondered where Gen was.  
  
“Well hello to you too darling, you look like crap, and Gen’s not here today, she had to stay home cause the Doc’ needs to check on her wings.”  
  
“Is she okay?”  
  
“Yeah...” Danneel shrugged like it was nothing but Jensen knew her, she liked to pretend she was tough when in reality she was nothing but sweet. “But don’t change the subject... What is going on with you? You’ve been down for days...”  
  
“Don’t want to talk about it.” Jensen said simply, which was totally true. He couldn’t tell that to anyone. Even if Danneel was one of his best friends, she and her family had moved in town a few years ago and she had totally rocked his world, sometimes behaving like a real guy. Which was nice. But not today, when she was being pushy.  
  
“We are so talking about it and...” The bell rang at that precise moment and Jensen couldn’t help but smile. “Oh no you don’t Ackles, we are talking about whatever is going on inside your brain.” Before Jensen could react, Danneel was grabbing his arm and basically dragging him.  
  
“Are we ditching school again Dan?”  
  
“Why do you mean again? Oh come Jen, math is boring anyway...”  
  
Jensen was half smiling now as Danneel pushed the door of the school opened. He knew where they were headed to, the athletics stadium, in the stands like all the cool kids used to. Jensen rolled his eyes but he followed Danneel and he sat down next to her, eyes looking up at the sky. All of this was fucked up, even more when Danneel pull out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, pulling one between her lips.  
  
“Dan... I thought you stopped.”  
  
“Oh don’t lecture me Jensen... it’s just once one in a while. So what’s going on?” Danneel blew the smoke away before handing the cigarette to Jensen. He shouldn’t but he was doing a lot of things he should do right now so he took it anyway. He coughed a little bit when the smoke invaded his mouth and Danneel chuckled, patting his back.  
  
“Is this about Jared?” She asked as she put the cigarette back in her own mouth.  
  
“That obvious hmmm?”  
  
“Well I mean if not Jared...what? You know I’m not that stupid.”  
  
“Really? I thought you were nothing but boobs.” Jensen replied with a smile on his face.  
  
“Oh fuck you...” Danneel punched his shoulder with her free hand, smiling. “So… troubles in Paradise?”  
  
“Something like that I mean...” Jensen sighed, running both hands through his hair. “I just want the damn kid to be happy and sometimes he looked up to me like...Like...”  
  
“Like you mean the world to him.” finished Danneel.  
  
“Yeah exactly and it is kind of the problem...” Jensen sighed again, snatching the cigarette from Danneel’s mouth. She looked at him for a long minute, both of them silent, before she broke into a laugh. Jensen turned to her, wondering what was so funny before he chuckled too.  
  
“Jesus fuck Jen... You’re worse than I thought, such a wuss...you love Jared more than anything, yes or no?”  
  
“Yes.” he said the exact moment she finished her sentence.  
  
“Then my friend, you’ve got nothing to worry about!” She wrapped one arm around his shoulders cheerfully as she added. “The way I see it, most people you meet in your life, you don’t get to remember them at all. And don’t forget all that shit about coming into the world and dying alone...”  
  
“Dan...Did you actually listen in philosophy? I thought you were just checking out the teacher.”  
  
“Jesus Jensen.. Give me a little more credit than that.” Danneel replied as she flipped her hair in probably the most girliest way and Jensen couldn’t help but laugh at her. “My point is, in thirty years when you will be all old and cranky, who you want to be right besides you every time you turn around? Jared, so don’t mess it up!”  
  
She was.... right. Of course she was. Jensen ruffled her hair before he hugged her, Danneel rolled her eyes. “And that’s why you are my best friend.”  
  
“Damn straight I am!”  
  
They laughed again, Jensen’s heavy chest feeling suddenly lighter.

→

“Hey.... is anybody home?” Jensen asked hour later as he pushed the door of the house opened. No sound coming from anywhere so he figured they were all out. Well, he would wait for Jared in their room and... Apologize. Or mostly beg Jared to forgive him because he’d behaved like a total dick these past few days, but it was all the same. So when he pushed his door opened, he didn't expect to see Jared, half naked on his bed, attempting to clean his wing. Jensen just froze right on the door frame, mouth half opened, staring at his little brother in awe. His wing had grown so fast over the year and even though Jensen knew deep down Jared hated the dark colour, Jensen secretly loved it. Jared's feathers were black and long, and on the tip of the secondary feathers, you could see a hint of green. It was resting on Jared's shoulder now as he was struggled, one hand holding his wing in place, the other one trying to brush the feathers.  
  
"You're doing it all wrong Jay." Jensen finally said. Jared finally noticed he was there, he blushed and was about to say something but stopped. Jensen only hesitated for a second before he headed towards Jared, snatching the brush from his hand. "Why didn't you wait for me? I would have helped." Jensen kneeled in front of him, his fingers slightly playing with the tip of the feathers. Jared jumped a little bit at the touch, but Jensen barely noticed, too busy looking at his feathers. He just loved feeling their texture between his fingers, there were so fucking soft, it was sometimes unbelievable for Jensen to realize he had the right to touch.  
  
Jensen smiled again before he started brushing the wing, very gently, knowing it was an intense process for Jared. He knew his little Jay could feel everything from every feather and of course, he would lose some, but Jensen didn't want to hurt him. They remained silent for a moment, the only sound in the room being Jensen's hands moving through the dark feather, Jared small body was completely still. "I'm sorry." Jensen said eventually. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, I've been a complete ass and hope you will forgive me. It's just… I don't know Jay, you took me off guard. Kissing you like that I mean it's…"  
  
"Wrong." The word alone seemed to cost Jared a lot and hearing that much hurt in a voice of someone he cared deeply about made Jensen stop what he was doing. He forced Jared to move on the bed and face him, resting one hand on his naked shoulder. But Jared's head was down and Jensen had to grab his chin so he could finally meet his eyes. There were tears forming inside of Jared's hazel eyes and Jensen really wanted to punch himself in the face because he did that. After all he could have said no when Jared asked for the kiss… Or could he really? He couldn't say no to Jared. Not now or ever. So he leaned in and pressed his forehead against Jared, their noses brushed.  
  
"Yes, it's wrong when you asked me to kiss you, I should have said no but I didn't. The truth is, you're the most important person in my life so of course I want to kiss you… I… forgive me okay?" One tear rolled down Jared's cheek as he whispered.  
  
"You're the most important person in my life too Jensen. Know it's bad, but I can't help it, I really want this… I just…"  
  
"Shhh… it's okay Jay, we're gonna be okay."  
  
Jensen wiped away the tears with his fingers and then we wiped away the tears with his mouth, kissing Jared like he should never have too. All his doubts and the feeling of wrongness faded away as Jared wrapped his small arms around his neck, wing covering Jensen's shoulder. Jensen wrapped one arm around his waist, holding him right there, and so not ready to let go. They were going to be okay.  
  


**1 year later**

  
  
  
  
"So… How do I look?"  
  
Jared, who was currently sitting on his bed, playing with his feathers a slight frown on his face, raised his head and… His jaw dropped open. Literally. Jensen was coming back into their room, wearing a dark blue suit with the bow tie, the white shirt and everything. And it didn't look ridiculous on him. Not all. In fact, Jensen was stunning. The colour of the fabric made his skin glow in some kind of beautiful way, the freckles on his cheeks more visible, his green eyes shining even more. Not to mention his hair falling down his face, there were starting to get slightly longer and despite his mother' pleas, he wasn't cutting it.  
  
So anyway, Jared was starting at his big brother in awe, asking himself if it was a good idea to crash into him and wrap his arm around his neck and kiss him. They still did kiss…A lot more actually but only in the privacy of their room and only when Jensen said it was okay. But it wasn't Jared's fault if Jensen's lips were so appealing he wanted to kiss him all the time. But, Jensen was talking to him right now.  
  
"Hello…Earth to Jared…That bad? Hmm… Maybe it wasn't such a good idea."  
  
Jared swallowed down his urge to kiss Jensen and, with a smile on his face, he replied. "Kidding me right? You look awesome?"  
  
"Really?" Jensen's frown deepened as he planted himself in front of the mirror. Oh…Jensen and his self insecurity issues. Jared rolled his eyes before making his way to him, crawling on the bed to do so.  
  
"You look just fine, I'm sure Danneel is gonna find you fine too."  
  
"Yeah… I'll probably look like an idiot next to her and of course she will look perfect as always." replied Jensen absently, tugging on his buttons.  
  
Jared didn't say anything looking down at the floor. For once in his life, he wish he could beat Danneel. He knew he was the one Jensen was kissing in the dark and he was his name on Jensen's lips and not hers… But still. In moment like this, the annual town charity dance hosting by the mayor himself, Jared wished he could be Jensen's age, have two wings and enough courage to ask him to be his date. Jensen and Danneel were going as friends and of course, Jensen had asked him to come. But it wouldn't be the same, and Jared didn't need to see them, the perfect couple, like everybody around them liked to remind him of. Jared sighed deeply, looking back at Jensen, he was lacing his shoes now, staring at Jared. He was about to say something, but his mother's voice came from downstairs.  
  
"Jensen you're ready? You are going to be late to pick up Danneel and that's not very romantic." Jensen poked his tongue out hearing that and it made Jared laughed. It was still his Jensen.  
  
"Please come with me so she doesn't take too many pictures." pleaded Jensen.  
  
"You know Aunt Donna… Of course she is going to take a lot of pictures. Just shut up and be pretty."  
  
"Oh thanks for your support Jared."  
  
"You're welcome!"  
They headed downstairs laughing and they found Jensen's parents, all dressed up too, Donna having a camera in her hand. Jensen turned to Jared whispering ‘I told you’ and Jared just hitting him in the stomach with his elbow. He just had to smile.  
  
"Oh Jensen you're so handsome…" Aunt Donna tugged at his shirt, smile on his face. "Come on let's take some pictures…"  
  
"Okay but with Jared too."  
  
"What?"  
  
Before he had the chance to argue, Jensen was wrapping one arm around of him and his wing, pressing their bodies together and Aunt Donna took the picture.  
  
"My beautiful boys… Alan look."  
  
"Yeah I know honey, they grew up so fast… Okay we better go pick up Danneel."  
  
"Jay you sure you don't wanna come with us? There is still a suit for you and..."  
  
Jared shook his head, knowing Jensen was staring at him. "No it's okay… I'm just gonna spend the night with Genevieve, she is going to arrive soon… Go and have fun okay?"  
  
Aunt Donna didn't seem satisfied but Uncle Alan urged her to the door, claiming they were going to be very late. They left the house, probably to go into their car and Jared and Jensen were left alone in the lobby.  
  
"So…" started Jensen.  
  
Jared sat down the stairs, knees against his chest. He wanted to cry. Really. The last thing he wanted was Jensen to go away to this stupid dance. He wanted Jensen to stay with him so they could watch super hero movies and eat pop corn and kiss. But he couldn't, because he was just 13 and he never felt so small and so useless than right now. And Jensen was just staring down at him. Jared took a deep breath and put on his face the best smile he has.  
  
"So go dumbass, you're gonna be late."  
  
"Okay… Have fun with Gen okay?"  
  
"Yeah I will…You too, with Danneel."  
  
Jensen smiled slightly and he ruffled his hair and left too. No kiss, no hug, he just left. Jared couldn't help it when he heard the car leaving the driveway, tears rolled down his cheeks and he cried silently for a few minutes. This wasn't fair, he was supposed to be Jensen's, he was supposed to… Jared buried his head between his knees and cried some more. He didn't even react when, a few minutes later, the door bell rang. No he didn't it was only when he heard the sweet voice of Genevieve that he reacted.  
  
"Hey what's up little man? Jay what's wrong?"  
  
Jared wanted to wipe away the tears and run to hide in his bedroom but he just couldn't seem to be able to move, besides, he liked Gen a lot, with her long hair and her warm smile and her wings, she always managed to make him laugh. She sat right next to him, wrapping one arm around him, as their wings get tangled together. Jared rested his head on her shoulder, crying some more. He felt pathetic. But after a while he eventually calm down and she finally asked. "Is that me being late upsetting you like this?"  
  
"No…It's…"  
  
"Jensen?"  
  
Jared just nodded before he starting playing with Gen's hair. He just needed a distraction, he really needed to stop being sad over that. Maybe he was Jensen's, but Jensen wasn't his.  
  
"Well you know Jared, if you want to go to that dance…"  
  
"I don't. Gonna spend the night you with you and it's fine."  
  
"Okay… All I'm saying is that if you're in love with Jensen, you should tell him."  
  
"I'm not…"  
  
Jared blushed hard, looking into Genevieve's eyes. Was he in love with Jensen? Of course he was, Jensen was the first person to ever pay attention to him outside his family so yeah… He might have even been in love with him since he was four years old.  
  
"I'm just his stupid little brother, Gen, it's useless."  
  
"Well I've seen you together, and he does care about you a lot Jared."  
  
"I know… But he's got Danneel."  
  
Gen rolled her eyes at that and for a moment, Jared was afraid he had upset her. Her jaw clenched a bit but when she looked back at him, her smile was back on. "Look…Danneel loves Jensen and you love him too. And you know what they say about love? You've gotta fight for it. I refuse to have you sit around here, thinking you're not good enough or you're just a stupid kid. Jared you are going to that stupid dance."  
  
Maybe Gen did have a point, maybe Jared could tell Jensen how he really felt and maybe it will change things. No awkward smiles, no silence after they kissed, Jensen would know.  
  
Jared kissed Gen on the cheek. "Thank you, Gen."  
  
"No problem… Now let's get you all dressed up."

→

Jared wore the simple black suit his aunt Donna fixed especially for him and his wing. It was surprisingly nice, too dressy for his taste but the fabric was soft and nice enough for what he could know about it. Okay, he felt like he just stepped inside a sauna in the middle of the summer wearing skiing props. The palms of his hands were sweating already as he fixed his red tie over his shirt to tuck it in-between his jacket. Maybe it was due to the fact that he was just a kid trying to look like a man. After one glance at his own reflection in the mirror, Jared took a deep breath and walked downstairs to meet with Genevieve again.  
  
“You look handsome Jay. Genevieve said before attempting a wolf whistle. "I'm honoured to be going with you."  
  
"That is if I’m not fainting before we get there, this is too warm, why can't they have a ticka themed party for a change?" Jared replied while trying to loosen his tie, he could feel the little drops of sweat on his forehead.  
  
"I can fix that, come here." Genevieve motioned him to walk down two steps so she would be just at the right height to reach and fix it for him. "This can stay here." she said as the untied the red tie and hanged it on the rail of the stairs, "Open this two buttons…and... " she smiled as she fixed the collar of his shirt "and now, Jay you can take of the jacket for the ride but then you'll have to be a man and deal with it until we make it to through the entrance and the pictures." She announced, hands on her hips.  
  
Jared was relieved by the little air he could feel on his chest now, getting rid of the jacket felt like freedom to him, his wing fluttered a little regaining his natural position. He smiled. "Thank you, you're an angel." He told her before remembering she really was and that wasn't the best compliment he could have come up with.  
  
"Obviously I am…and you are too." she pinched his cheek "Gotta work on those communication skills, Jay but I got the message.”  
  
She opened the door and looked back at him "Remember to grab your keys...oh also I suppose you don't drive or..."  
  
Jared just rolled his eyes, "You don't have your car?"  
  
"I don't drive, don't need to! I mean I have Danneel to drive me around and I've got…" she stopped talking and looked at the floor, her wings pressing against to each other on her back as if she tried to make them disappear.  
  
"Your wings, it's okay Gen you can say it, I'm not going to get mad". Jared said standing next to her by the door now, keys in hand "I can't really fly well, or that long as you know...but I've got a bike." he smiled "It's something right?"  
  
"Yeah…" she looked at him relieved "But you’re not going to ride on your bike with this. I think we'll have to take the bus, thanks god there are still some at that hour." She pointed at her outfit and Jared took a good look at it for the first time since he got in the room, and wow... He really was nervous to not notice how beautiful she looked before.  
  
The little light pink dress wrapped her body perfectly showing off her petite and elegant figure, it was held up by one shoulder, covered in shiny little things that shined with the light, beads or something he guessed. They went from the shoulder and encircled the top of her dress around the heart shaped neck of the dress, it was short, like two palms above her knees and Jared understood immediately why she wouldn't go on a bike with it. It made her look delicate but at the same time it made him salivate slightly and having to avoid thinking about what could she be wearing underneath. (Jared was just a boy after all.)  
  
Still it was simple enough to make her wings pop out even more the few accents of red and pink at the ends of her bottom feathers suddenly more pronounced, with that she didn't need anything else to complete her look, it was a knock out. He looked at her shoes and noticed her heels where incredibly high, higher than normal, he giggled realising why she was taller than usual all of a sudden. “How can you even walk in those? Do they give you special classes or...?" Jared asked very naïvely. "But even with your higher shoes you are a short" He added very quickly.  
  
"You laugh but everybody knows the best wine comes in the small bottles darling…so how are we going? We want to reach there before it ends so, ideas?" She asked.  
  
He rolled his eyes "so many complaints, you could always fly and take me with you that would be quick!”  
  
She didn't even answer at that question before she walked out of the house checking her phone "let's go, the next bus is in 10 minutes."

→

  
  
The city hall was looking its best, Jensen couldn't remember seeing it so clean…and full of life ever. There were fake palm trees on the entrance corridors, lots of lights and a red carpet that led into the room where the ball was held. He could spot his parents posing for some cameras strategically placed between two columns and fancy lights. But Jensen was distracted from his thoughts when Danneel pulled him by the hand.  
  
"Jensen...you with me? I know you totally love the stairs and those beautiful trees." She smiled "But the fun is in there."  
  
Jensen looked at her and replied casually "Yeah...but I don't think anyone is waiting for you there...so..."  
  
"Are you really trying to avoid the pictures, cause there is no way we are avoiding them, I mean look at you then look at me...” Danneel made a gesture with her hand, clearly indicating how obvious it was. “Pictures now. Please. And don't make me ask again."  
  
And yes, Danneel could be very frightening. So Jensen stood two steps behind as she walked towards the photographer. Her hair was collected loosely at the top of her head, some loose strands of hair randomly fell out of the bun and formed slight curls. The air pulled the slit of her dress up, to show the tight beaded tube that hugged her tights underneath the long skirt. The deep burgundy red contrasted with her smooth white skin and made her glow, maybe the gems of her jewellery helped but in all honesty that was the last thing Jensen noticed when looking at her.  
  
She turned around goofily pulling up the strapless dress, while pulling a weird face only she could pull and still look beautiful, that was when he recognised his friend behind that breath taking young woman that kinda made his knees weak sometimes.  
  
"Jensen, you are so slow, we are going to miss all the good food, you know those sandwiches pinched on a stick and the other fancy things." She motioned to him waiving her hand. "Come on! What now?" she rolled her eyes.  
  
"N…nothing just noticed how beautiful you look, like more than usual." Jensen replied to her while reaching to grab her hand. "And just because of that I'm going to take those pictures more than gladly, you know for future reference and all..."  
  
She blushed slightly and Jensen noted that down as a success "Well... I was just trying to look good for the guy who saved me from a series of unwanted guys… and he is pretty good looking too, so..."  
  
"So you had to make him look ugly and you accomplished your mission." Jensen said smiling as she fixed his tie and pulled him in to kiss his cheek. "Oh come on Dan. Don't smear all that red sticky shit on my face, I have a picture to take.” Jensen complained with a smile.  
  
She smiled and rolled her eyes, only like she knew how to do it. "And that's why I invited you, always a gentleman."  
  
They both posed for the photographer and slightly blushed after he went on and on about how they were one of the better looking couples he had the pleasure to photograph that night and how probably they would made the first page of the news the next day. They just nodded and thanked him until he said something about wishing them the best and he hoped they called him for the wedding, Jensen froze and thought about what to reply to that but Danneel just shrugged "sure, we'll call you the first. Let's go Jen." she said and then they were walking up stairs, a couple of dozen kisses were given and received, everything was a blur to Jensen, forced social situations always confused him.  
  
He just smiled and followed Danneel around, they had a mini feast at the buffet table, always being careful on not dropping anything on themselves or on each other and even got around on stealing some champagne, which actually tasted like pee to Jensen but it made him feel smug for convincing the waiter he was of legal age for drinking nonetheless. Anyways, now, Jensen was stuffing his mouth with some sandwich with a pate on it, he didn't know what is was but it tasted good to him so he kept eating them, he actually carried the little silver plate to his table so he didn't had to walk up and down each time to get another one. He had a foot propped up on his knee, slightly slumped down in the chair, everything was perfect until "Jensen…"  
  
"What?" he said not trying to mask the fact his mouth was full.  
  
"I want to dance, and you need to stop eating like a pig. Please" Danneel had her sad face on and she well knew that nobody could say no to.  
  
"Don't feel like it man…this is so good" he said grabbing more food.  
  
"Oh god...Really? And just so you know? Worst. Date. Ever Ackles" she threw her napkin at him "Your loss" she shrugged and went ahead heading for the centre of the dance floor.  
  
Jensen winced because the last time he wanted was to upset her, but he had been the one saying yes when Danneel suggested they should go together. They were friends after all and besides Jensen wasn't planning on anything else that night. Okay, maybe he was wondering what Jared was doing. Maybe he would have preferred stayed home, watch movies with Jared and kiss the boy until their lips felt numb and they both fall asleep maybe. But it was not something Jensen was proud of, he thought as he tried to spot Danneel.  
  
The music was loud, some bad pop song remixed with a heavy bass base was playing, Jensen wondered if they could have spent a few dollars more to get a better DJ, but again the whole purpose of the night was getting people drunk enough to enjoy that shitty music and donate a couple hundreds to the charity of their choice. Too bad Misha wasn't here to distract him, he was on a camping trip with his folks. He finally saw Danneel, dancing with a inebriated Mr. Grey, the old math teacher they used to have in elementary school. Now he was retired, his beard was longer, his body heavier still he danced with skill. He spun her around like she was nothing, making her slide across the dance floor not really following the rhythm of the song, but it didn't matter.  
  
The song ended and Mrs. Grey went to reclaim back her husband proclaiming she couldn't compete against such youth and beauty, she pinched Danneel's cheeks and complimented her dancing skills before saying very loudly "it's a bit past our bed time and Mr. Grey has more wine in him that he had in years, I must take him home or he'll start trying to teach the multiplication tables to everyone that meets his sight..." Jensen laughed as she shook her husband's hand and carried him outside the ball room, towards door. Soon, Danneel came back to the table and told him everything that happened, he decided to act oblivious  
  
"Oh really? That's interesting Danneel... I guess."  
  
"You know what is going to be really cool jackass?" she replied, hands on her hips, head slightly tilted to the right.  
  
Jensen bit down his lower lip not to laugh, it wasn't his fault if she was cute right now. Instead he replied "No. And if it involves you dancing with some other third aged man I don't really care." He grinned at her as he cleaned his mouth, looking longingly at the empty plate before him.  
  
"No…the actual plan was dragging you to the dance floor and force you to dance with me."  
  
"No way sweet heart." He shook his head "No way."  
  
“Don't sweet heart me Jensen, that's just cheesy and pervy and...” Jensen would never know the end of that sentence, because at the same time, the music changed and Danneel offered him her hugest smile. “The Macarena, there is no way in hell you are saying no to this.”  
  
And maybe it was her smile that made him seem all important, maybe it was because being with Danneel was simple and easy and right, but damn him... Jensen just had to follower her.  
  
“I'm just doing it because I feel bad for you Dan', it doesn't change anything.”  
  
“Yeah sure!” She grabbed his hand as they made their way to the dance floor.

→

Like in all dances, the silly pop songs turned into slow ballads, the couples got closer to each other, swinging side by side. And so did Jensen and Danneel. He had to push away quite a handful of drunk contenders from her, all claiming they would give her the night of her dreams and she wouldn't regret it. Jensen took her hand tightly between his and every time he pulled her closer, jaw clenching tight with anger and what felt like jealousy "she's with me" he hissed at every single one of them "she's not interested, thank you. Try with someone else". He could feel her smiling behind him "I knew you were a gentleman all along" she whispered.  
  
Jensen shook his head, "No, I'm not" and then he spun her around, pulling her chest to chest. His hands clung to her waist, holding her closer making her lean against her and so Danneel just had to follow his lead. One step to the right, two steps to the back, spinning in an endless circle, following the music. "I'm not” he repeated. Then he smiled "But I'm not a jackass like the others." Her hands ended up behind his neck, caressing the short hair of his nape, nothing strange with it she did it all the time, cause apparently it felt funny and she enjoyed it, Jensen let her play with it.  
  
"No…I guess you are not." She whispered back to him, barely audible but he felt each and every one of those words against his skin, marked with her warm breath against his neck. She looked at him and smiled before going back at their total and comfortable silence. But then again suddenly he wasn't so comfortable with looking at her straight in the eyes, his gaze dropped to the floor as soon as he noticed the light blush she was sporting on her cheeks, all of a sudden all the words connected, the pieces clicked together. the situation, the dance, the dress, the winks and before he knew what was going on Danneel kissed him.  
  
It was soft, gentle not needy as it was with Jared in the dark of the night, under the safety of their covers. It was not as her life depended on him, it didn't felt like she hoped to find all the secrets of the universe as he held them between his lips, no it wasn't like that, it wasn't his angel. It was light and fearful, it was sweet. Jensen pulled back and looked at her eyes wide in surprise. Danneel looked the same, blush on her face, lips swollen.  
  
"I….hum…. I don't know, I just" she mumbled out biting her lower lip. “You're just so... God Jensen I'm so sorry...” Danneel looked scared and afraid, like she was worried Jensen was really mad and he would storm out of the room and leave her alone. Jensen would never do that, so he did the only thing he could. He kissed her back, more firm this time, more secure, his lips moved with confidence against hers, his tongue slipping against hers. He kissed her back and it felt weird because she wasn't Jared. He didn't felt funny in his stomach and his legs didn't feel boneless, but it was good. It was something else, something new and sweeter…it was Danneel.  
  
  
  
He had never been to a dance like this before, everything was new and exciting, Genevieve only went once the year before but she was dateless so between the two of them the levels of excitement should have been illegal. Their wings flapped out of control and they giggled hand in hand running to the where the photographer was set up. They took more photographs then they could count, funny poses, first communion poses, couple poses and they could have kept going on but the photographer looked at them tiredly and just said "I suppose the fun is there inside." he looked at his clock "Even if it’s pretty late…but I'm sorry guys they paid me to stay here four hours and I have a family waiting for me at home." he smiled before adding "also I think I have no memory left in the camera thanks to you two, so I can call it a night."  
  
“Aaaw... That's too bad, sure we can take one more, come on, I wanted to show my moustache skills to Jared!” said Genevieve, flipping her hair over her lips and pretending to possess a beard or something. Jared giggled, so glad she came with him.  
“Gen I think he's right we should go inside.”  
  
“Fine, but let us help you okay?”  
  
“Oh I'm totally okay with that!” said the photographer.  
  
They helped him turn off the lights before thanking him for his time, that would have been a first one for him in all night, he sighed happily as he was them making their way to the ball room, and he watched them, thinking that they made a nice couple too. But Jared and Genevieve were long gone, climbing the stairs with smile on their faces, wings moving and following every single one of their movements. Inside, the dance floor was crowded, the lights low, Jared felt a warm weight leaning against him, Genevieve, just before her wings tickled him.  
  
"So, what do you say you take out that jacket and we show this people how to dance?" She was already tapping her foot slightly following the rhythm.  
  
"Yeah... sure. I mean why not?" Jared replied as he looked for a place to leave his jacket, he found an empty chair and prompted his jacket there before trying to find a way to remember where he was going to leave it. "Just let me..."  
  
"Jared no one is going to take for mistake a suit jacket with a single wing opening" She smiled. "And if they do, they have to be really drunk."  
  
He grinned at her "yeah you’re right" he took her hand as they headed for the dancing crowd. Jared wasn't really paying any attention to what he was doing, he knew that he was an awful dancer and honestly, he was trying to spot Jensen. Not easy to do with that many people here.  
  
"I know I'm short, but you could at least look at me... and act like you are having fun." Genevieve said over the music as Jared was turning his head to look to the other side. He blushed and was about to apologize but he knew by the smile on her face that she was joking.  
  
"I am having fun Gen!" It wasn't a lie, Jared enjoyed spending his time with Gen, she was nice and didn't treat him like a kid. “It's just...”  
  
"I know, I know... you’re trying to spot them" The brunette rolled her eyes. "I kept them hidden from you just because I wanted to see if you could forget about it and have some fun but…” She shrugged, both of her wings following the movement. “Let's make a full spin."  
  
Jared was kinda flattered that she wanted to protect him and try to make him have some kind of fun. But Jared couldn't do that knowing that Jensen and Danneel were... Anyway, he took a deep breath and did as she ordered him. And here they were. Jensen and Danneel, close to one another, too close, too intimate. They just looked... perfect together. And Jared couldn't help the ache he felt, right now watching him. But no, they’re just friends, it's cool, Jared told to himself, I'm dancing with Genevieve too and we must look the same, it's normal. He saw Danneel smile gently before whispering something in Jensen's ear, leaning even closer. Maybe she was just talking trash about somebody's dress, they were probably be making fun of some really bad dancer or even...  
  
But then Danneel was kissing Jensen. His Jensen. And it felt like his own world stop, his breath stuck somewhere in his throat as his body kept moving, dancing with Genevieve.  
  
"Jay…Jay" He could her Genevieve voice, calling him, but it seemed so far away. "Let's go take some water yeah? Or maybe something stronger?" she pleaded "Please…say something to me."  
  
Jared couldn't reply and he didn't notice he had stop dancing. He couldn't move, or stop staring. She was kissing him and what felt like two seconds after he was kissing her back. Yes, Jensen was kissing Danneel in the open, for everybody to see. He was kissing Danneel like he never kissed Jared, without shame or any guilt. Because it was right.  
  
Jared's vision got blurry, his head was spinning, something wet rolled down his cheek, he didn't realised because he could only see her. Her with Jensen. Jensen with her. together, she had won. She would take him away because she was the right thing for him. A girl, a beautiful girl, that could kiss him and said she love him and everybody would be happy about it, because it was the right thing, it was what was always meant to be. She was what Jensen really needed.  
  
And it seemed like a dream you know when Jensen finally turned to him, green eyes facing Jared. No. Jared couldn't look at him. He just couldn't. So he did the only thing he could do right now. Run away.  
  
"Jared…wait!" Jensen's voice. Maybe? He didn't even know. He didn't want to find out. He didn't want to know, he just wanted to get out of here as fast as he could. He jumped over the steps that lead to the doors trying to gain distance between himself, his brother, his best friend, his everything, his Jensen.  
  
→


	4. Chapter 4

  
  
Jared was running.  
  
Tears on his face, heart beating and wing fluttering against the cold air of the night, he was running as fast as he could, going back home, going away from what he just saw. He could still hear Jensen screaming his name but overpowering that every time he dared to close his eyes, he could see his lips on hers. Not his.  _Hers_. He had always thought, naively, that he was the only one to kiss Jensen. The only one to have that privilege, that he could have Jensen for him alone in some sort of way. In a way that nobody else could have him. But it was too late now, Jared felt broken, alone and so empty. He was broken in a sort of way that no one could fix. The hurt and unhappiness was almost too much for his body. He wished he could just fly away from this, away from everything. He was stuck here, stuck with only one wing and no human to kiss.  
  
Jared was still breathing heavy, eyes red and tears on his face as he pushed the door of the house open. It was dark and he didn't even dare turning the lights on, his feet leading him to the kitchen. Jared struggled to get out of his jacket, pulling off everything, as he fought the urge to scream. He stopped when he was finally half naked, so angry he was shivering. He was angry at Jensen, at himself for being so stupid, at Danneel to take what was his. And it hurt, there was no other words as Jared was just standing there. He was useless and everybody had just lied to him since he was four, he could not even get Jensen to love him.  
  
Jensen, his human, his big brother, the most important thing in his life and the man he loved. He couldn't even… Jared had another sob, his wing falling to his shoulder, and he took a deep breath and he eventually turned the lights on. Empty kitchen, where him and Jensen used to help his mum cook, make plans for the days during the breakfast. Jared's eyes fell on one of the kitchen knife and he swallowed hard. Maybe if he could… He glanced at his wing, too heavy now, the feathers disgusting. It was the main problem about him, maybe if he could, just… Just cut it out. Maybe all of this could end.  
  
Jared's fingers were shaking as he took the knife, getting it off the rack. The blade was shining and Jared ran his fingertips over it, heart beating so loud he could feel it in his chest… Yes, maybe he could cut it out and he would be just fine. Normal, someone worthy of Jensen's love. Yes, it was mad but Jared didn't think. He was a little boy and he was hurt and he wanted it to end, so it was simple. Jared took a deep breath and struggling a bit, he pressed the knife against his shoulder blade, slowly heading lower, lower to where his skin was ending and his wing began.  
  
And that was right there, right there that he hit himself with the knife, cutting the link between his humanity and what made him an angel. It hurt. His wing was against that idea and it moved on his own, tears falling down on his skin, and it hurt, and it was good, it was perfect, because soon… It will be over. So Jared tried his best, burying the blade deeper and deeper, not even stopping when he felt something warm and liquid against his own skin. Jared didn't know it was blood, but that didn't stop him.  
  
What stopped him was his own cries and his body giving in to the pain, his whole body falling against the cold floor, everything dark around him.

→

His neck felt funny when he woke up. It always did when he slept on his stomach, the only problem is that he never did. Jared tried to move but he couldn't and his eyes opened wide. Something was wrong. In two seconds, he went from sleepy to completely awake and panicking. Jared struggled again to move, to get out of his bed but, he realized that as he turned his head, his wrists were tied up, he had restrains on him. And the bed wasn't his. And what was that noise in the background? Like a strange clock? No more like a beeping...  
  
And then the boy remembered, the nightmare. Jared closed his eyes shut trying not to remember them, not to remember Jensen kissing Danneel, or how he felt at that moment and... It was real. Everything was real. So was the burning pain running through his skin, it hit him hard and suddenly it was hard to breath. Suddenly it was there, in every single one of his feathers, like they were all screaming in agony. Silently accusing Jared because it was all his fault. No.  
  
The pain was sharp and red and Jared didn't notice the concern looks nor the people as everything went black again as he fell back to sleep.

→

Jared opened his eyes again because the sun was too bright, but he couldn't really see it, the beeping was still there, the restrains too. It took him even less time to remember what happened this time. He felt something on his face, a hand he presumed… He didn't know anymore, his head was so heavy, maybe they had given him something. He tried to turn his head and saw some colours: white and red. Probably Genevieve. He closed his eyes and fought his way back into sleep. He wasn’t ready to face reality.

→

The third time Jared woke up, he felt less numb. The pain was still there, just a little reminder of why he was in that position and why he wasn't allowed to move. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on just breathing and preparing his words.  
  
This time he would be ready for Genevieve and anyone else in the room. Jared would have to come up with his best excuses and yet he was sure not of them could explain his gesture. What was he even suppose to say. Sorry because I wanted to hurt myself? Sorry because I wanted it all to end? Sorry because I realized I wasn't good enough for Jensen? No one will understand. Those thoughts made Jared's breathing quickening suddenly, the little boy panicking again. But he felt one hand closing on his, holding tight and firmly. Please, let it be Jensen he thought, Please don't be mad at me, please, please.  
  
“Jared I’ve slept over with you a thousand times already, I know when you’re fake sleeping.” Genevieve's voice. It did make him smile but Jared was disappointed. Jensen wasn't here. Okay. He could still do this. He took a deep breath and turned his head to her side, opening his eyes.  
  
“Hey.” Jared's whispered. His voice was so raspy and even talking seem to hurt in some kind of way.  
  
“Hey.” She replied back, offering him his best smile.  
  
They exchanged a glance and they started giggling. Jared so glad she wasn't mad at him, and that she wasn't going anywhere.  
  
“Man... I'm hungry.” finally said Jared.  
  
Genevieve opened her mouth to reply, probably telling him how stupid he was and that everybody were worried about him but it was another voice into the room that answered him. The voice of someone Jared couldn't see in that position.  
  
“They knock you out for four days and this is the first thing you have to say? Mum was right about you.”  
  
Jensen's voice.  
  
And Jared wished he would hurt to hear him, but he didn't, he felt relieved, like every time he heard Jensen. He moved and before Jared realized what was happening he was right there, next to Genevieve. Jensen looked tired, but he managed to have a smile on his face. Not the beautiful ones that made Jared's toes curl because Jensen looked like truly happy... It seemed fake, like Jensen was trying his best, green eyes on Jared. Jared swallowed hard looking him back. He didn't know what to say, he wanted Jensen to touch him, kiss him and tell him he wasn't mad.  
  
“So hmm... What do you want to eat?” Jensen asked. There was a slight blush on his face but Jared decided to ignore it, he didn't want Jensen to be nervous around him.  
  
“I don't know... Anything good I guess.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
There was another pause, during which Jensen stared at him with so much intensity, Jared thought he was going to burn. Jensen was mad at him. There was no mistake of that.  
  
“Hmmm... Maybe I should get him some food right? And see if your parents want to see him, hmm... Jensen?” Genevieve broke the silence looking between the two of them. Jared was glad she was there, he didn't know what he would have done otherwise.  
  
“Yeah, thank you Gen.” said Jensen absently, eyes still locked on Jared's. Genevieve disappeared not before leaning to Jared and kissing him on the cheek. He blushed slightly and he swore he could have seen Jensen roll his eyes. But it was probably nothing.  
  
“Okay... well...” Jensen sat down to Gen's seat. “Now you get some sleep before she comes back.”  
  
“No, I'm good I'll just...”  
  
“Shut up.” Jensen took his hand, replacing Genevieve's on his. “Try.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
But somehow Jensen's hand was better.

→

When Jared woke up that time, the room smelled like pie and his wrists weren’t bound anymore. He smiled as he prepared himself to open his eyes and surprise them all. Maybe Jensen was still mad at him but if Jared could just touch him, hug him and tell him how sorry he was... The boy didn't want anyone to understand his gesture, he just wanted to be forgiven. He opened his eyes very slowly and managed to turn around, sitting on the bed. His whole body was sore and his wing didn't seem to be able to follow his every move with precision, but it was still there. And despite everything, Jared was glad.  
  
“Hey!”  
  
He was welcomed by a lot of voices, too loud and the room too bright for him. He felt someone hug him. Aunt Donna. Jared hugged her back without thinking twice about it.  
  
"You got me worried sick son! Don't ever do that again, okay?" She held him tight and pressed kisses against his forehead.  
  
“I won't.”  
  
“Honey... Let the boy breath, he had some rough days.” Uncle Alan's voice, and judging by his tone, he was smiling.  
  
“So I don't have the right to hug my boy?” She released him, rolling her eyes at her husband, very Jensen-like in that moment. Where was he?  
  
Jared could spot Uncle Alan, and Genevieve and... And no one else, Jensen wasn't there, Jensen was gone. They kept on talking and Jared just smiled happily, not even reacting when they gave him a slice of pie. Aunt Donna went on how he wasn't supposed to, and now he was on a strict diet but this was just for one time. But Jared couldn't listen. Jensen was gone... why?  
  
"Sorry." Jared finally talked and they all looked at him. "For everything… I'm really sorry... I shouldn't have tried to... I'm sorry.” And just like that, the tears were back again, Jared wished he wasn't that weak, he wished he could be more like... Like Jensen. Donna rushed to his side and wiped away his tears with her finger, it didn't help at all that her smile and eyes were just like Jensen's.  
  
“Honey it's okay, it's okay... You're okay, you're gonna go home and everything is gonna be okay.”  
  
“So you're not mad?”  
  
“Mad?” That time it was Uncle Alan that replied him, rushing to his side. “No Jared we're not mad, nor is Jensen. He’s just...” They exchanged a glance between them before uncle Alan continued “He just had to go away for a while. I think you both need that okay?”  
  
Jared didn't bother reply, he just nodded silently, seeing Genevieve's sad smile in the background. Maybe it would be okay, but he still needed to see Jensen.  
  


→

About a week after the incident, Jared was free to go. A nurse came in checked him up and handed him some clothes Uncle Alan had brought for him. She said "your father is waiting in the car" but he knew what father he meant, he meant his uncle. Jared won't get to see his real family before a long time. Trying to cut off his wing? Not only it was bad, but no doubt people would judge him. Not to mention that his own father was an angel too and he had a human to care about, even if sometimes it meant forgetting himself.  
  
But Jared was happy to finally get out of there and passed the clothes on very quickly. He was frankly tired of hospital clothing, he just wanted to go home. The nurse helped him with the shirt, she had to wrap the wing to his bag, lots of bandages everywhere to keep it secured, he felt like he couldn't breathe but she explained him how it was better having a little difficulties in breathing than opening up all the stitches and having to come back here, but this time for a longer time. He tried to find an argument in his defence but she just crocked an eyebrow at him and said "arms up, be a man about it." and proceeded to dress him up.  
  
She did let him walk though, maybe it was cause she saw how restless he was or maybe she imagined how painful the wheel chair must have been to his wing, anyhow he walked to the elevator, looking for Jensen everywhere but he wasn't there. He reached the car, Uncle Alan hugged him, and almost killed him for good, he couldn't breathe but he didn't complain after all both of them needed it.  
  
At home Jensen was nowhere to be seen and Jared knew he wouldn't be there. Not after what his uncle had told him at the hospital. But he could still hope right?

→

Nightmares. Jared kept having them. Nightmares of what happened as vivid as ever. Luckily for him, the pain wasn't there but he still woke up at night shaking in his bed, tears on the corner of his eyes, wishing Jensen was there. But he wasn't. And it was like uncle Allan and aunt Donna didn't want him to go crazy or something if Jensen was mentioned. For Jared it was fine, he had a pretty easy routine now: sleep, watch TV, hang out with Gen and sometimes with Misha, do his homework that Zach would brought from school, eat and go back to sleep. Everyone was watching him so carefully, probably waiting for him to break or something like that.  
  
Jared was fine, just like he explained one day to his uncle, he had been a stupid gesture a desperate one, he realized that. The only thing he had managed to accomplish was to hurt deeply the people he loved and cared about. So yes, Jared was managing. And one day, he was in the kitchen, doing his homework, sprawled out on the floor when he decided that he just needed to know about Jensen.  
  
"Hey Mom, can I ask you something?" he said  
  
Aunt Donna was fixing some flowers in a vase, a mix of field flowers laid on the kitchen counter. “Sure Jared you know you can ask me anything.” She stopped what she was doing and offered him her best smile. The one that Jensen used. Jared took a deep breath and spoke again.  
  
“Where is Jensen?”  
  
A hint of sadness passed through her face, but it was too soon gone as she was smiling again. “He's with Uncle Jeff and Uncle Jim. It's not your fault Jay, but ...We had a fight and I think he needs some time on his own.” A fight? About him? And how could that not be his fault? Jared was about to ask again but Aunt Donna was playing with the flowers again."How does this look to you?"  
  
Jared tried to go for a full on smile, but a stupid grin came up. “Good, that's very good mom." He cleared his throat, trying to seem nonchalant about it. "And…why did you two fight? When is he coming back?"  
  
“Well it depends on you Jared.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes, I was just waiting for you to be ready... If you think now is the safe time to see him, I'll call him and tell Jeff to kick him out.”  
  
Jared chuckled a bit, thinking fast. It will never be safe to see Jensen, never, nor for his heart or his body. Jared was in love and he knew it now, the pain of everything happening those past few days showing him the truth very clearly.  
  
“Yes. I'd love that mum.”

→

Later that same day, Jared was in the garden fixing some plans for his aunt, at least that made him feel productive. Until he felt somebody watching him. He turned around slowly, moving was still a little bit hard. And there she was. Danneel. Two chocolate bars in her hands and a sad smile. Jared wished he could say it hurt to see her, but actually it didn't, they would have cross paths eventually? Jensen aside, he kinda liked her. A little. Deep down.  
  
"Hey Jay..." She took a step closer, looking nervous. Jared knew she was never normally the nervous type. "Got this for you, one is from Gen to be honest and she would have come her herself but...” Danneel's voice trailed off and instead she just handed him the candy.  
  
Jared took it with a small smile. “Thanks... Nice to see you. How are you?”  
  
She laughed, bright and beautiful, finally looking more like herself. “I should be the one asking that. I mean... I honestly have been better, you know, I've been worried sick about you and Jensen and... God you must hate me so much don't you? Listen I'm really really sorry. I know I fucked up big time, I fucked up two of the best friendships I had and probably ever will have just because I am hopeless. Forgive me okay?”  
  
Before Jared realized what was happening, Danneel was right there, hugging him, her hair coming into his face, her perfume invading his nose. She smelt nice. Jared hugged her back, realizing she was shaking. Damn... “Danneel don't feel bad... I mean it's my fault I'm the one who... you know.”  
  
"No.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. “No and I can't even look at Jensen anymore, it's my fault, he felt like he had to.”  
  
"What do you mean?” asked Jared, confused.  
  
"I'm the one who kissed him first and he felt like he should... you know! That is so Jensen. I just... You know how people keep ranting about how we make this beautiful couple? Well I find myself asking maybe I just... I just went for it to see if we could have a shot and...”  
  
“And?” Jared was ready to hear it this time, ready to hear that she will was in love with Jensen and she would probably fight for him. Who was Jared to argue with that? He wanted Jensen's happiness as much as Danneel wanted it. Yeah, after everything, he could still give him that.  
  
“And I love him Jared. But he’s my best friend, and I'm not that stupid. When he saw you that night he didn't hesitate, he ran after you... Whatever happens, he will always choose you.”  
  
Hearing that, Jared hugged her again, not knowing what to say or how to act anymore. All those years, he had been afraid Danneel would be the one taking Jensen away from him... He had been wrong all along. “Thank you I needed to hear that. Now we have to get him back."  
  
“Trust me Jared, you will.”  
  
  
  
That particular morning, Jensen woke up to someone yelling right inside his ears. Well, two someone’s, Uncles Jeff and Jim to be more precise, both yelling “hey beautiful!” He jumped on the bed, on his two feet, ready and alerted. “What? I'm awake, I'm awake!” They exchanged glance before they burst out laughing. Jensen growled one thought in mind, go back to bed. And he was about to do just that when Jim stopped him.  
  
“Good morning to you to sunshine, well good afternoon since it's actually 3pm...” the older man mocked him.  
  
“Don't care.” Muffled Jensen into his pillow. “Wanna stay in bed.”  
  
“You sure about that Jensen?” asked Jeffrey, Jensen able to hear the smile he probably had on his face. “I mean, you're about to miss the train to go back home and it's not like we hate having you here or anything...”  
  
“But we are tired of having your beautiful and young butt laying on our sofa and eating our food.” finished Jim. “Besides, we have some baseball games to catch and we can't do that if we've got you on our sofa, can we?”  
  
Jensen moaned, pretending to be asleep. Usually, it would make Jared laugh and Jensen would step out of his bed, greeted by his smile and his dimples. God, thinking about Jared hurt a lot and he couldn't help but remember the last time he saw him, in his hospital bed, wounded and looking sad. Just because of him. Just because Jensen wasn't able to make a fucking decision for once in his life. But he couldn't go back now, could he? Jared needed some time.  
  
“You can't kick me out.” mumbled Jensen in his pillow. “My mum will kill you.”  
  
“That's funny because she's the one who called, saying that you could come back.”  
  
“Really?” This time, it was Jensen who smiled as he stood up on the bed, grinning. “Why didn't you tell me this before? And... fuck when does the train leave, oh crap.” In no time, Jensen was rushing to the bathroom as his uncles were laughing at him. Jensen never showered that fast in his whole life and when he started to put his clothes on, his hair were still wet. But Uncle Jeffrey helped him back his stuff while Jim was making him some sandwiches for the trip. Jensen could never thanked them enough, after his fight with his parents and Jared trying to kill himself, he had came here, holding back the tears with all the strength he had, knowing he had fucked up big this time.  
  
“Thank you again for everything.” Jensen finally said when he was ready to leave. They hugged him both, adding that he could come up here anytime he could and Jensen smiled again, before he ran to the train station. He bought his ticket with that dizzy feeling in his stomach. He was going back home. The train ride was quick considering he spent all his time sleeping on his side, since his back still was in pain. There was a plastic wrap over his shoulder and it made him sweat a lot more than usual. The plastic wrap was covering the tattoo he fought so hardly for with his mother.  
  
Jensen did it right the day after Jared... Jared's incident. Just because he had to share the pain, and he needed something to distract him from everything. Something to keep it together.

→

His car was still parked at the train station. Jensen smiled when he saw his baby. "Good to be back" he whispered as he started the engine. Jensen drove back home quicker than usually, the weight on his stomach still there. It was dark when he reached his home and the simple sight of the house made his heart clenched. He parked as gently as he could and he silently opened to door. The house was dead silent and he went to his parent's room slowly, finding the both of them asleep, his mother wrapped in his father's arms.  
  
"I'm back, I'm sorry" Jensen wrote on a little paper he left on his mother bedstead before kissing both of their foreheads and walking out. He stopped in the kitchen grabbed a glass of milk, eating a few cookies with that. He washed his hands very slowly and checked if all the doors were closed. Buying some time before going into his bedroom. But then he had no more excuses, he headed upstairs, with the urge to see Jared and apologize and just... Just see him.  
  
He opened the door very slowly and was surprised when he saw some lights and faced a distressed Jared trying to cut open some bandages. As always, the sight of his wing was breathtaking and just like that, Jensen realized how stupid he had been about the whole thing.  
  
"What are you doing?"Jensen's voice was low and shaky, full of fear.  
  
Jared turned and he smiled seeing him, dimples back on his face. He looked tired and he had lost a bit of weight since the last time he saw him. "You’re back!" Jared was staring at him in how like he used to do when he was 4 years old. "You…are...back."  
  
"Yeah...I am" Jensen smiled shyly and closed the door behind him, stepping further into the room. "What are you doing…Jared?" He was still scared and worried out of his mind.  
  
"Trying to cut this bandages off, obviously!" Jared said, moving on the bed, so he could face Jensen properly, "And failing".  
  
"Why you want to cut them off anyway?" Jensen asked.  
  
"It's been days, and I can't really shower properly, so yeah.... It's kind of annoying."  
  
"Let me help you." Jensen said and in no time he was all over Jared, touching him over his bandages, cutting then open, breaking him free. Little moans escaped Jared's mouth as he helped him spread his wing away from its forced position stuck to his back. Then he touched two short feathers, new ones that grew after the incident, they were softer and Jared hissed. He pulled his hand away faster than light but Jared guided it back there.  
  
"It's alright, it doesn't hurt." The boy whispered.  
  
And they were so close, no space between them as Jensen's hands move, exploring Jared's back, his wing, his face and hair, trying to feel everything, trying to fix him somehow, maybe with the help of some magic and his trembling hands. Saying sorry in the way that he knew words couldn't.  
  
He looked up, to meet Jared's eyes closed, his mouth was lightly open, his face relaxed… without even thinking about it, Jensen caressed his face, gently moving forward to kiss him, Just a gentle press at the corner of Jared's lips to see if he was still allowed to do that. Jared didn't push him away, he just opened his eyes and blushed. Looking absolutely beautiful.  
  
"Let's go get you clean" he whispered to Jared. The boy nodded and Jared grabbed the hand Jensen was offering without complaining, without pushing him away.  
  
They walked to the bathroom silently, Jensen suddenly nervous about all this. It had been a long time since Jensen washed his little brother and so many things had changed and they weren't kids anymore, and Jared had tried to take his own life, to pull his wing away... Jensen swallowed hard as he let go of Jared's hand to close the door behind them. The only light of the room was the sot one of the mirror and it kinda felt like a dream, just staring at Jared.  
  
He must have felt it too, because Jensen smiled slightly when he see that he was pinched himself, even flapping his wing in the process.  
  
"Shh, you don't want to wake them up right?" Jensen said quietly as he pulled his shirt up. He winced a little, he had move too quickly because of his shoulder and the next second Jared was there, both hands on his face.  
  
“Are you okay? What happened?” Typical, of course Jared would worry about Jensen and never about himself. Jensen tried to ignore the fact that he was half naked and Jared very close to him as he replied.  
  
“Yeah... Did mom tell you we had a fight?” Jared nodded. “Well I have to show you something...” Jensen turned around, his back facing Jared. “Gotta help me with the plastic please, then you'll see.”  
  
He felt Jared's fingers against his skin, trying his best not to hurt him, and Jensen swallowed the sound he wanted to make. And Jensen knew the exact moment when Jared took it all off and got to see his tattoo, the hands were gone and he heard him gasp. Jared was facing the exact to scale replica of his wing, all along Jensen's right side, where Jared's missing wing should have been. The colours and the shades were exactly the same.  
  
“Oh god... Jensen!” Jared touched the skin very slowly and Jensen did his best not to move, his skin still very sensitive.  
  
"Doctor told me you could lose it…thought we at least needed a wing between the two of us." Jensen whispered as he felt Jared tracing every single feathers with his fingers.  
  
"Jensen…Jensen... This is... this is permanent.”  
  
“I know.” Jensen turned around and pressed Jared into a hug. “I know Jay.” Then he was kissing him, slowly and scared Jared would push him away. It was just like the first time they did it under their bed covers, when they first discovered what kissing was. Jensen could feel Jared's face pressed against his and he wouldn't be lying if he said he didn't moan when the other wrapped his arms around his neck, bringing their body closer. And Jensen knew what a fool he had been, how he should had never kissed Danneel in the first place. It was Jared, just Jared.  
  
Jensen was highly affected by the kiss, and he was starting to get hard. He ended the kiss clearing his throat, feeling his cheeks red. Jared was blushing too and he was biting his lower lip. “So...hmmm...How about that shower?”  
  
“Yes, okay.”  
  
Getting naked in front of Jared wasn't weird at all and yet, this time it was different. But Jensen tried not to think too much about it as he turned on the water and stepped inside. Jared followed him, hesitating a little bit.  
  
“Come on Jay.”  
  
He nodded at the nickname and stepping next to him in the cabin. The water was warm, but not as warm as they both liked, the little spikes of coldness providing relief for both of their backs. Jared pressed his lips against Jensen's once again and just like that, tongues sliding against each other, they kept kissing underneath the water. Then they washed each other gently, Jensen blushing so hard he thought he would probably died there.  
  
Jared kept shivering as Jensen washed his wing. Jensen took his time, more than he ever did, every feather was soaped then rinsed, massaged, the ones closer to his scapula were kissed. He kissed a line along his back up to his neck. Jared turned around, needy look on his face, hair glued to his face.  
  
"My turn" He whispered. Before Jensen had a chance to react, Jared's hands were all over his own skin, making him feel dizzy and hot, it was good they were under the water. His breathing was heavy as Jared's fingers moved all along his chest and his jaw, his skin burning hot. He moaned as Jared's mouth ended on his Adam's apple. The boy giggled. “You taste like soap now... That wasn't a good idea.”  
  
"I know... I'm sorry." Jensen wasn't really apologizing for the soap, and they both knew it. Jared paused for a moment, really looking at him, like he was trying to see if Jensen really meant it. And yes he did, god yes he did, if he could turn back time he would, without even thinking twice.  
  
“Don't worry... I know you are. It wasn't just my fault but seeing you with... you know... It hurt, cause I thought... kissing was our thing, even if we never talked about it.”  
  
“It is Jared, it is, I don't want to kiss anybody else but you I swear. But promise me you won't ever try to... you know...”  
  
“I won't... I mean... No, this wing, even if sometimes I hate it, it's a part of me...”  
  
“Exactly, and now we have two of them.”  
  
“Yes we do.”  
  
They kissed again and when they stepped out of the shower, they both had smiles on their faces. And that night Jensen felt asleep in Jared's bed, holding him close, and it felt perfect.

→


	5. Chapter 5

**  
3 years later**

  
  
  
"Hey Jenny… Are you coming or what?"  
  
Jensen frowned in front of his biochemistry book and raised his head to look up at Chris, who had snuck his head inside his room. Chris well knew Jensen hated the nickname, just like he hated being disturbed while he was working. There was a reason Jensen wasn't studying with his other roommate in the living room, he needed some sort of peace and silence to study. Which was why he was now laying on his bed, his books around him. Oh and also because biochemistry was a bitch.  
  
"Coming to what? Told you not to disturb me Chris."  
  
Jensen was about to get back to his book but that was before his lovely roommate stepped inside his room. Great… He rolled his eyes and threw the damn book away, ready to face Chris.  
  
"Oh don't be so grumpy Jenny."  
  
"Oh sorry to be upset about the finals coming in a few weeks."  
  
"Just do it like me." Chris raised his hands up in the air. "Do I look upset? Hell no."  
  
"Except I don't have your massive brain… I hate biochemistry anyway, it's too hard." complained Jensen, a small pout on his face.  
  
Chris laughed down at him and Jensen threw a pillow at him.  
  
"You know what your problem is Jensen?"  
  
"No but feel free to enlighten me."  
  
"You work too much… There's a party tonight at this new bar downtown… Which is exactly what you need."  
  
"Let me think about … No!"  
  
"Oh come on!" Chris pushed the rest of his book on the floor, sitting next to him. "Please, please, please, pleaaaase…"  
  
Jensen looked at his friend, pretending to be annoyed. He wanted to smile and say yes just so Chris could get off his back but Jensen truly wasn't interested in partying, especially tonight. His head hurt from all his classes and all he wanted right now was a nice long shower. Oh and to talk with Jared. Yes, that was the perfect night for him.  
  
"Go with Jason and have fun without me okay?" Jensen patted Chris' knee and stood up, already looking for his most comfortable sweat pants.  
  
"Jensen come on! You don't even go out. You need to get drunk and get laid man!"  
  
Jensen stopped whatever he was doing at the moment and turned to Chris, an obvious blush on both his cheeks, revealing more freckles than ever. Did all the men of his age only think about sex? Jensen wouldn't know for sure since he was still a virgin. Yes, at 20, Jensen was still a virgin. He had done stuff of course, he had gotten drunk like everyone else and had hot making out sessions with Jared, and that was it. Oh, that, and jerking out in the shower.  
  
So he conclusion he wasn't into boobs or anything women-related. He was more into men. Which of course was hard enough to admit to himself, let alone explore. Jensen couldn't go around and kiss any random guy, right? No. He only wanted to kiss one guy, Jared. But how was he supposed to say it to his friends? He loved Chris and Jason but… It was kinda huge for him.  
  
"Maybe… maybe another time." finally managed to say Jensen.  
  
Chris looked at him for a long minute, just like he knew and was able to see through Jensen's facade. But luckily, he didn't try to argue anymore. He just sighed, standing up.  
  
"Okay, but next time I am getting you drunk… Even if I have to drag your pretty little ass outside myself."  
  
"How do you know my ass is pretty?"  
  
"Ackles we live together!"  
  
"Spying me in the shower … You perv."  
  
"Of course Chris is a perv" said a voice behind them. Jason was at the door, his guitar in hand, huge wings in the doorway.  
  
"I am not a perv!" replied Chris. "Unlike someone, I am not almost naked 90% of the time."  
  
"Hey I've got an excuse: the wings! What's yours? Hmm?"  
  
Both Jason and Jensen turned to Chris, he gave them the middle finger and Jensen laughed, hard. Damn, who needed to watch TV with roommates like them?  
  
"Anyway… We are gonna go… Have fun Jenny boy." Chris ruffled his hair and Jensen tried to punch him in the arm.  
  
"Don't call me like that…"  
  
"Whatever… Tell Jared I say hi, okay?"  
  
"Will do man."  
  
"All right Jason, let's go!"  
  
And Jensen watched as Chris made Jason piggy pack him despite the wings. He shook his head: Chris was a child, it was hard to believe he was the oldest. And yet, on his very first day on the campus, Jensen had literally run into Chris with an armful of boxes obscuring his view. Jensen remembered how out of place he felt, away from home, without Jared and alone. Jason had popped out of nowhere, throwing him a smile and helped him pick his things up from the ground and before Jensen knew what was happening, he was drinking beers with the two of them, living in the extra room they got in their gigantic flat and laughing to Chris' jokes. He had been very lucky indeed.  
  
Anyway, Jensen waited until he heard the door close, Jason's laughter fading away, before he headed to the shower. He undressed and stepped inside the cabin, and didn't even hesitate as he set the water on burning hot.  
  
Minutes later Jensen felt suddenly better, as he was turning on his lap top, lying down on the couch wearing nothing more than a Led Zeppelin shirt and a boxer and of course he had a beer in his hand. Jensen opened the bottle as he logged into skype, ready to speak to Jared. Yes, they did talk almost every day and it was the only way they had to stay in touch.  
  
Sometimes Jared would send him picture of him or videos he did during the days or even drawing while he was in class. And Jensen knew he should encourage his angel to study harder but who was he to ignore Jared's smile? Besides, he had never been able to say no to him before so… He wasn't about to start now, right? And Jensen just had the time to put his beer back on the table before he started receiving some messages.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Jensen! FINALLY YOU ARE HERE.  
Aunt Donna says hi.  
She also wants to know if you want some apple pie. Already told her yes.  
  
Jensen couldn't help but laugh, picturing Jared jumping in his seat, in front of his laptop, his wing moving in the process. That damn kid had grew up so fast and it was kinda annoying to think he was as tall as Jensen now. Not to mention how tall his wing had gotten over the years, blue appearing in the middle of the black and green of his feathers. Which was absolutely stunning according to Jensen.  
  
 **Jen:**  
What did I tell you about jumping on me Jay?  
  
 **Jay:**  
Sorry…  
Well… You were late.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Just messing with you kid :P  
  
 **Jay:**  
I'm not a kid!  
Last time I checked I was as tall as you!  
  
 **Jen:**  
Potato, potato.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Dude you're so old by using that against me.  
  
 **Jen:**  
…Want the grumpy old man to go?  
  
 **Jay:**  
If you log off, I will end you.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Oh and what are you gonna do?  
Rub your wing all over my face?  
  
 **Jay:**  
YOU LOVE THE WING AND YOU KNOW IT.  
  
 **Jen:**  
…  
True  
  
 **Jay:**  
Knew it.  
:D  
  
Jensen sighed, smiled on his face as he pictured Jared smiling. Damn, he missed his smile. And he also missed waking up to the picture of Jared sleeping, his cover once again on the floor, as his wing was protecting him from the rest of the world. He missed their breakfast together, touching him, kissing him… Jensen bit his lower lip, and pressed one hand on his shoulder blade, where his tattoo was. There lied the proof of his feelings for Jared and nothing could ever change that, not even the ache deep in his chest when the need for his angel was too excruciating.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Still with me?  
  
 **Jen:**  
Sorry…  
Just thinking about how much I miss you.  
  
 **Jay:**  
…  
I miss you too you have no idea.  
In fact…I am kind of sleeping in your bed while you are gone.  
  
 **Jen:**  
WHAT?  
  
 **Jay:**  
Please don't be mad, but it still has your scent… God I know it's creepy and weird and…  
  
 **Jen:**  
Shut up. It's adorable.  
  
Well insanely hot would be the right word and Jensen would be a liar if he said he wasn't hard right now. He was, the thought of Jared, sleeping in his bed, spread out on the cover, his nose buried on the cover, trying to chase Jensen's scent. Damn him but yes he was hot as hell. He groaned slightly, the laptop rubbing against his hard on. No… It was wrong. Kissing Jared was one thing but this… Jensen took a deep breath, trying to chase his erection away but it wasn't working. Fuck… Well, another thing to take care of.  
  
 **Jay:**  
I don't think adorable is the right word but as long as you're not mad, it's okay.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Could never be mad at you Jay you know it.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Good, now let's talk about something else before I die of embarrassment.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Are you blushing?  
  
 **Jay:**  
No.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Liar.  
  
And thinking about Jared blushing was probably not the best idea ever, before Jensen could stop himself, he found himself pushing the laptop on the couch, one of his hands heading towards his boxers. Fuck, fuck… Jensen was breathing heavily and he moaned when he started rubbing himself over the layers, all the tension in his body suddenly going to his dick.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Tell me about your day.  
  
God this was wrong, Jensen had typed that with one hand, the other one slipping inside of his boxers and he arched on the couch when his own hand found his naked skin and Jensen wasn't surprised to find himself already wet down there, his cock already leaking because he needed Jared so badly.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Well it was okay I guess, math was boring as always but I guess the teacher doesn't like me.  
  
 **Jen:**  
You are so making that up, she adores you.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Yeah she adores me so much she almost gave me a detention.  
  
Jensen smiled reading that but soon he was moaning again, his thumb running over the tip of his cock, using his own precome to create more friction. And it felt so fucking good, like electricity running down his spine and Jensen wanted more, so much more. He wanted Jared, Jared's lips all over his body and on his cock. Yes that special smile he only had just for Jensen, those lips wrapped around his cock. "Oh my god… Oh my god, fuck…"  
  
 **Jay** :  
???  
Jensen, are you still here.  
  
Answer to that question? No, not really, Jensen's hands was moving fast on his length now, pumping his cock up and down, spreading more precome all over the skin and he was moaning and gasping on the couch, his skin on fire. His hips were moving up into his fist, one hand over the couch for some sort of balance. Jensen had never been so loud before, never so out of control. He was lost between what was real and his own little private fantasies.  
  
Fantasies involving the boy he loved, involving Jared. Jared with his perfect smile, his brown locks falling down his face, his too big hands and arms now that he had gotten so tall. And his black wing. "Fuck… I…" Jensen came screaming Jared's name, spreading come all over his palm, hips still bucking into his palm. It took him a whole minute to fully understand what had happened, his breathing heavy and his face burning him, cheek both red. Jensen looked down at the mess he made and then the computer.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Jensen really you are starting to freak me out.  
  
"Fuck…" He was so burning into hell. But Jensen couldn't help the smug smile on his face as he stood up and rushed to the kitchen to wash his hand. His underwear was sticky and itchy and his legs were still weak and shaking but he felt pretty damn good.  
  
 **Jen:**  
Sorry I had to pee.  
  
 **Jay:**  
JESUS. Warn a guy okay?  
  
 **Jen:**  
Okay, okay sorry.  
So tell me more about your fascinating day.  
  
 **Jay:**  
Oh shut up!  
You talk now.  
  
Jensen stretched a little bit and started typing with a smile on his face. Yes, he was going to hell.

→

If there was one thing Jensen loved more than anything, it was lazy Sunday afternoons. No need to worry about tomorrow's classes because his homework was already done, he could just lay down in the couch, playing some random video game with Chris. And of course win. But that was mostly because they were playing a fighting game and Chris sucked at those.  
  
"Oh come on man… not fair, it's the fifth time you've beaten me… Can't we play another game?"  
  
Chris threw the controller away from frustration and Jensen smiled, sprawling on the couch even more.  
  
"Told you Chris, loosing is good for you."  
  
"Yeah my ass…Anyway we've been playing for a while, let's do something else."  
  
"Like what? Anything that does not involve getting off the couch I hope. Where is Jason anyway?"  
  
"Dunno… Probably still asleep… Guess I am just gonna have to wake him up."  
  
"No Chris don't…" Too late, Chris already had that devious smirk on his face and he was standing up. Hmm… Jensen was way too lazy to stop him. He sighed happily letting himself fall on the couch, head against the leather. He should do something, he was still wearing some yoga pants with a t-shirt saying how cool chemistry was. Yes, Jensen needed a shower indeed, and maybe shave. But no, the couch was just too comfy and his best friend at the moment and…  
  
"Fuck no." Jensen moaned when the doorbell rang. But whoever was at their door, insisted ringing and ringing, pressing the bell all over again. Jensen rolled his eyes and got up. He really hoped it wasn't one of those stupid campus associations to help out the students. Jensen scratched his butt on the way (because it was a really, really lazy Sunday) and he opened the door. To face Jared.  
  
To face a tall, hair falling down his face, wearing a plaid shirt, wing so big now it was touching the door frame, Jared. It was a dream, yes, it must be a dream, Jensen must have fallen asleep on the couch, his mind was playing him a trick that was it. However, Jared's smile grew bigger, showing dimples on both side of his face, green eyes seeming greener like every time he was happy. And Jared seemed happy and Jensen couldn't talk, couldn't find the world because Jared wasn't supposed to be there. He was supposed to be miles away from here, home. Not here, on the door step of his college flat.  
  
"I… Jared… what…" Jensen was holding the door handle so tight it actually started to hurt him, he let it go and swallowed hard, his throat dry. Jared didn't let him the chance to reply, stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. Damn he was so fucking tall now and yet he managed to look cute and move so gracefully, his wing following his every move, just being another part of his body.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Jensen finally managed to blurt out. "Don't you have school tomorrow? Do mum and dad know you're here? Jared if you ran away just to see me I swear to God I am going to…"  
  
“To what?”  
  
Jensen stopped rambling the exact moment Jared reduced the distance between them and grabbed his face between his two hands. It was gentle and soft, just like the kiss Jared gave him next, just a press of his lips against Jensen's. Something warm and sweet, just a simple gesture saying "hey I'm here." He then pressed his forehead against Jensen and stepped back smile on his face.  
  
"Shut up and listen I have something big to tell you… Just… Don't freak out okay?"  
  
"But… I…"  
  
"Shut up!" Jensen rolled his eyes as Jared was laughing, a slight blush on his face. Okay, Jensen was starting to worry, Jared wouldn't have come here if it wasn't important, he could have told him by using skype. And when Jared took both his hands, Jensen noticed his were shaking.  
  
"Jared you…"  
  
"Jensen please! Okay I'm just gonna go and say it or you're just gonna ruin everything. You know how I told you how good my grades were and I have been taking a few… well a lot of extra classes right? Well I talk to the headmaster of my school and he said that I could… graduate early which means next year I could go to college and I chose this one because I wanna be with you."  
  
Jensen's heart started racing as he was processing the information Jared was giving him. Jared graduating. Jared being in college with him. Jensen must have blacked out a few minutes because Jared let go of his hands. And Jensen looked down to his own hands… No. No more waiting, or the ache in his chest every time he was thinking about Jared and when they were going to be together.  
  
"Please say something you are freaking me out."  
  
"Oh I'll do more than that…"  
  
Jensen grabbed Jared's shirt collar and pulled him in, hard and lean bodies meeting each others, and then he kissed him. Properly, like he always should have. Because Jared wasn't a kid anymore, he was sixteen, and he was going to go to college with him, he was going to be his, and his only. So Jensen didn't hesitate a second when his tongue slipped inside of Jared's mouth, kissing him hungrily, making up for all those times he had wanted but he just couldn't, because it was wrong and… Fuck. Jared moaned in his mouth, his big hands finding Jensen's shoulder and just grabbing, holding on to him and when one of Jensen's hands got lost in his hair, he was fucking gasping, reaching back to kiss Jensen every god damn time their lips parted. But Jensen seemed unstoppable and his mouth was always here, on Jared's lips, at the corner of his mouth, biting his ear lobe… Jensen's lips felt on fire and he just couldn't grow tired of Jared's taste, it was so sweet and fresh and…  
  
"Fuck… Jensen." Jensen smirked as he licked down Jared's Adam apple, Jared shivering underneath his tongue, doing his best not to fall. Jensen wrapped one arm around his waist, the other heading to his wing, and when he touched the precise point where the feather were meeting his back, Jared fucking screamed his name. Jensen smiled, even more seeing Jared blushing.  
  
"You like that?" Jared nodded vigourously, Jensen repeated the operation, before burring his head deep inside the wing, stroking the feathers.  
  
"Fuck, Jensen I… aaah…" Jared kissed him again, whole body and wing moving into Jensen and Jensen felt his hard on against his hip.  
  
"My room now." Jensen said in a growl, grabbing Jared's hand and basically dragging him to the stairs. Suddenly, everything that wasn't taking care of Jared had zero importance, Jensen didn't even react when they passed Chris in the hallway. He just had the time to say a brief "Jared? Oh hi!" Before Jensen was pushing Jared into his bedroom and closing the door behind them.  
  
They stared at each other for a few seconds, Jared breathing heavily, heart moving inside his chest, Jensen's heart racing inside his ribcage. Jared smiled, blush on his face and Jensen captured his lips. Tongues meeting again. Only this time, it was slower, Jensen's tongue gently exploring every corner of Jared's mouth. And damn the sounds he was making… It was going down to Jensen's crotch, getting him harder by the second. And Jensen jumped when one of Jared's hands found his back.  
  
"Sorry… I…"  
  
"Don't apologize okay? You can touch me too, you can do anything you want… okay?"  
  
Jared nodded apparently it was the right words. "Okay just… don't stop kissing me please."  
  
"Wasn't planning to.'"  
  
And kisses after kisses, Jensen was getting to know Jared and it truly felt like kissing him for the first time ever. When Jared's hands sneaked underneath his shirt to touch his skin, Jensen shivered, feeling more exposed than ever. But soon, Jared was taking off Jensen's shirt and both of his hands were exploring Jensen's skin, the man growling at every single one of his touch.  
  
"Jared… Gosh don't stop…"  
  
"Does… does that feel good?"  
  
"You're kidding right? Come here."  
  
Jensen sat down on the bed and Jared did the same. Together they undid Jared's buttons, very slowly and before he even thought twice about it, Jensen tightened his mouth on one of Jared's nipples, sucking it. "Jensen!" Jared pushed his head back exposing his neck, fingers deep into Jensen's hair, urging for some more. He was so beautiful like this and Jensen wanted to rush it and yet take his time, he wanted to find out if Jared would come just like this, just from his mouth around his nipple. But not today, today Jensen had other plans. That was why he pushed gently on Jared's shoulders, so he was laying down the bed. He saw a flash of hesitation in Jared's eyes and his answer was a smile, his lips finding Jared's stomach. Jared moaned, louder when Jensen lapped the skin right there, heading down, getting more noises out of Jared's mouth.  
  
Panting as Jensen gently traced his navel with his tongue, gasps when Jensen undid his zipper and a growls when he pushed Jared's jeans all the way down. And Jensen could see nothing more than Jared, in underwear, on his bed, wing looking so big it was actually kind of frightening but Jensen's heart wasn't beating with fear but with excitement. He kneeled between Jared's legs and he didn't even hesitate as he rubbed his cheek against Jared's hard on, Jared jumping at the touch. "Jensen… Oh … Jensen you don't have to…"  
  
Oh god yes, he wanted to. He wanted it so bad, he wanted to make Jared feel so good, taste him, feel him. Jensen reduced him to moans by sucking down on his hips. Jared seemed to relax and Jensen took the opportunity to tug at the waistband of his underwear and pushed them down too, freeing Jared's cock.  
  
"Wow…" Jensen never thought he would find a cock beautiful or even appealing but then it was Jared, and he was kind a big and for a minute, Jensen wondered he wouldn't fit it in his mouth. But, as Jared now up on his elbow looked at him, face red and still panting his name, he realized it wasn't about the performance…At all. He wrapped his lips around the tip of the length, collecting the few drops already here. Fuck. Jensen moaned at the taste, lapping Jared clean.  
  
"Oh god… Jensen, yes, yes, yes…" Jensen might have forgotten Jared a little bit, too focused on the taste. He pulled back and wrapped his hand around the thick flesh, guiding it to his mouth, this time watching Jared's reaction. And Jared was losing it, spreading his legs wider, wing trying to move creating some wind who was hitting Jared's face, as Jensen took him deeper in his mouth.  
  
Jensen found himself loving that, his mouth stretched wide opened by Jared's cock, he was so full and so fucking hard it actually hurt but he didn't want it to stop. "Jensen, I'm… Please just…" Just a few more inches… Jensen could totally do it, he was sure of it and it would feel fucking great and… Jensen moaned when Jared's cock hit the back of this throat, his gag reflex finally kicking in. And Jared came, right there, deep inside his mouth, Jensen so surprised at first it took him a few tries to swallow.  
  
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…" Jared chanted as Jensen was licking him clean, not missing even the last few drops. Pulling away felt weird and Jensen licked his lips absently, staring at Jared and wondering if he could get the boy hard again just by sucking him dry. Fuck… He was so damaged and so fucking hard.  
  
"Hey… You're okay?" Jensen asked Jared still naked on his bed, eyes closed. Jensen crawled back to the bed, lying down on the good side, so he wouldn't be on Jared's wing. Jared was hiding his face behind his hands, blush still on. Jensen chuckled, he was so damn cute.  
  
"Don't laugh…" whispered Jared.  
  
"Well Jared I should be the one hiding in embarrassment. Was it so bad?"  
  
"What?" Hazel eyes were facing him, shock on Jared's face. "No! It was… Jensen it was perfect it's just that I've never… God you're so stupid."  
  
Jared was determined to prove his point as he rolled on the top of Jensen, naked body and wing against Jensen and he kissed him, low and dirty, tasting himself on Jensen's tongue. And it was all Jensen needed to come, that, plus the feeling of Jared's feathers against his face.  
  
"Oh fuck…" His head fell back to one side, breaking their kiss, but Jared was heading to his neck, sucking his collarbone in a way that should have been illegal. "Jaaaay… fuck…" It was Jared's turn to laugh, resting his elbows on either side of Jensen's head. Jensen wrapped both of his arms around his waist, holding his angel just right there. They stayed silent for a while, Jared's blush slowly fading away, Jensen's fingers playing with the feathers. Jared finally tried to move but Jensen stopped him.  
  
“Uh, uh. You’re staying right here."  
  
"Oh… okay… Do you plan on keeping me naked… all night?"  
  
"Hmmm… Haven't decided on the naked part yet but… Yeah."  
  
"Perv."  
  
"And proud to be! Anyway…Do mum and dad know you're here?"  
  
"Of course! They wanted to take me here next week… But I couldn't wait so I just took the bus." Jensen laughed hearing that, he could totally see Jared on the bus, staying awake and counting the miles before he would get to see Jensen.  
  
"Well I'm glad you did."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh yeah… Next year is going to be awesome."  
  
  
  
His palms were sweaty as he tried to knot his tie, it was so hard and it always went loose five minutes later, so there he was, his tongue sticking a little bit outside his mouth in effort, eyes fixed on the mirror's image. He didn't noticed the multiple pair of eyes fixed on him until there was a flash, whose reflection against the mirror left him semi blind for a while. Jared turned around white spots floating around his room.  
  
"What…?" he asked still confused looking at Jensen and the huge reflex camera he was holding, behind him uncle Alan and aunt Donna were all dressed up and smiling.  
  
"Damn! That picture is no good, let's take another. Try to open your eyes and smile this time!" Jensen said, small pout on his face. It made Jared giggle a little bit.  
  
"Jensen... I'm half blind thanks to your surprise, and I need both eyes to read the speech." As he replied, Jared patted the pocket were he kept the index cards for his speech, each student had to make a little speech about what made their school experience unforgettable and what teacher helped them the most with that. Jared and Zach chose not to make a speech on their own so they had this duo thing prepared about friendship and then they would thank their art teacher, ‘cause she was awesome and never sent them to detention. But, graduating early, Jared would stand out there without his friend, and it will be very weird.  
  
"Please Jay..." Jensen said already behind the camera."Mom needs this picture, come on" Jared rolled his eyes, in a perfect imitation of Jensen's old habit, before he faced him, putting on his best smile.  
  
"Perfect!" Jensen claimed as he looked at the pic he just took. "Dad! You can fix his tie now!" he smiled at Alan, who walked towards Jared and moved his hands away from the knot.  
  
"Guess I'll never show you how to do this enough times, Jay." Alan said as soon as he had done the perfect know to Jared's tie.  
  
"But I have you to do it for me, why should I learn?"  
  
"Yeah you better enjoy it while you can boy!" Alan smiled at him and shook his head when Jensen said "Maybe you should start three years before the event and you will make a perfect knot in time."  
  
"Says the one that asked how to orange juice was made last week" Jared smugly replied as he was sitting to put his shoes on.  
  
"That's not fair, it was 5am and I was half sleeping... also it's not my fault if mom didn't bring the nice bottled one even if she knew I was coming home. I mean come on... I had to squeeze them like a prehistoric man, who does that anymore?" Jared laughed even harder hearing that, glad to have Jensen here to help him get through all of this.  
  
Donna popped her head from the door and shook it "Everybody Jensen…everybody does that, just they are not as whiny as you in the mornings."  
  
"I'm not... Anyway, let's not lose track of what's important here. We were teasing Jared and his lack of ability when it comes to ties, not me, let's go back to that!"  
  
Alan smiled. “At least he can put his shoes on, by himself, right son?”  
  
Jared rolled his eyes getting up, finally putting on his blue graduation gown, over his suit. If it were up to him, he would have never dressed like that. But Aunt Donna's orders. And yes, he was going to miss all of that.

→

The school auditorium was crowded, full of nervous parents and friends waiting for someone to fall from the stairs or some dress shoulder to fall and show some more skin then desired if they got lucky enough. Jared was standing in the huge line of students outside the big doors of the auditorium, they had to wait silently for their cue, a cheesy song for their entrance. It sucked, they were all so nervous and couldn't talk, not to mention that they were placed alphabetically in line cause their names had to be announced and the seating chart worked in the same order, and lucky as always angels were organised by the name of their humans so Ackles was in first line.  
  
And of course, Jared was nervous. He dried his hands on his gown, feeling suddenly sweaty. This was ridiculous and yet, he kinda felt like the first time he saw Jensen, when he had to be chosen. What a terrible day. But awesome at the same time. Just like right now. And lost in the memory, mostly remembering Jensen's smile as he held the little boy that Jared used to be, he didn't notice his name being called out.  
  
He took a deep breath, walking up on stage. Silence as he walked in, all eyes on him. There were way too many lights for his liking, but Jared focused on walking to the principal and getting his diploma. Yeah, one step at the time. Getting a hold of his diploma was strange, it was just a piece of paper but still high school was over. Jared took it with a smile as the principal spoke to the crowd.  
  
“Mr Padalecki here is one of our greatest students graduating a year in advance as part of our special program. Jared, tell us a little bit about your plans for the future.”  
  
Jared had been prepared for this and yet, his hands were still shaky when he grabbed the mic, facing the crowd. Okay. Now time to talk. Except that his mouth was dry, his wing was moving because he was nervous and he completely forgot his speech. Fuck. As in major fuck. But, Jared finally spotted Jensen in the crowd. Jensen rolled his eyes at him before he smiled. Okay. Jared cleared his throat and spoke.  
  
“I just wanna say thank you... I've heard all great stories about how high school is the best time of your life... But frankly, I hope it's not.”  
  
There were a few laughs in the crowd and Zach was the one laughing the hardest. But Jared's eyes were still on Jensen.  
  
“I mean, I had a great time here, and I would be lying if I said I spent all my free time studying, I did not, but I think I did okay. As an angel, most people expect you to be amazing and brilliant... Again, I think I did okay. I'm going to miss my friends and some of my teachers and all the people who made high school such a special place for me. When I first came here, I just wanted to blend in and be like everybody else... However I'm glad I didn't, I realize now that I have a place and something to say. I'm starting college in a few months and I hope it will be as exciting and good as my years here."    
  
There was a little applause and this time Jensen and his parents stood up, Aunt Donna even had tears in her eyes. Jared get off the stage as fast as he could, running to his family as they left they seats.  
  
“It was perfect.” whispered Aunt Donna, already hugging Jared.  
  
“Yeah, I don't know... I forgot everything and...”  
  
“It was okay son. Jensen what did you think?”  
  
They all turned to him, Jared, like every time it seemed, waiting for his approval.  
  
“It was good. Now let's get out of here and party!”  
  
“Jensen!” His mother pinched his cheek. “We can't just leave, the ceremony is not over.”  
  
“Why not? We only came here for Jared, I said we grabbed Zach, called uncle Jeff and Jim, Dan, Gen and Misha and we go at home celebrate. Jared?”  
  
“Oh I'm in.”

→

Jared wasn't too much of a party guy, but he did admit, he had a lot of fun. There were gifts, uncle Jim and Jeff giving him a new laptop, an album full of pictures of him from Jensen and even a cheque from his parents. It was perfect, Jared ate way too much chocolate cake and even did some karaoke in duo with Danneel, which he totally regretted because Jensen had filmed the whole thing and no doubt he would use that. Anyway, soon everybody had to go home and his parents had to take Uncle Jeff and Jim back to their own house. And Jared was cleaning, when he felt Jensen right behind him.  
  
"Hey… I have another gift for you."  
  
Jensen had just whispered right inside his ear, one arm wrapped around his waist, wing trapped between their warm bodies. Jared was still wearing his graduation gown but despite that, he did shiver feeling Jensen's breath against his face, his lips against his earlobe.  
  
God… Every moment of contact felt fucking amazing and just knowing that he was allowed to touch Jensen and not even feel guilty about it was enough to make Jared happy. And Jared was, probably more than he ever will be. And he was also intrigued. He slightly turned his head to Jensen, kissing his cheek before he answered.  
  
"You know you didn't need to…"  
  
"Will you shut up and follow me Jay?"  
  
"How romantic of you! Okay I'm following you, but only because you asked nicely…"  
  
Jared let Jensen take his hand and he followed him upstairs. The house was mostly quiet now that everyone except them was gone but Jared's heart was beating so loud it was excruciating. It was stupid after all, Jensen would give him his gift, he would kiss him and thank him for it, because whatever it was Jared was sure it will be awesome and then they will go to bed. So Jared was more than surprised when Jensen stopped in front of their bedroom.  
  
"Jensen… what's wrong…"  
  
"Nothing just... Okay just open the door…"  
  
Jared frowned, more than intrigued right now. He looked up to Jensen's face, the man was glowing, happiness all over his features and Jared finally pushed the door.  
  
"Oh my… Jensen!"  
  
It was still their bedroom, well except for the candles forming a circle around their two beds. Or more like one bed because they were pushed next to each other forming one and only bed. It was just… Perfect. Perfect because the first night Jared had been so afraid to sleep alone Jensen had snuck into his bed and held him right there, because sometimes when Jared missed Jensen so much he would go under his covers and pretend he was there… It was simple and just… perfect. Jared turned to Jensen and before letting him the chance to talk, he wrapped his two arms around his neck and kissed him.  
  
It wasn't a little boy kiss like the first one they had or a forbidden kiss between two brothers. It was a hot and tender kiss between two lovers and Jensen's tongue felt so good that Jared felt his wing move on his own and his toes curl into his socks. Fuck that felt amazing. And Jensen held him right there, kissing him the right and proper way for long minutes as Jared felt the longing and the desire grow stronger deep inside his stomach. Jared was the one to end the kiss, grabbing both Jensen's hands and urging him to the bed.  
  
They both sat down and kissed some more, Jared moaning when he felt Jensen's hands all over his body, touching, scratching and just… feeling him.  
  
"God, Jensen… More please… I…"  
  
"What is it that you want Jay?"  
  
Jared blushed hard, he knew what he wanted, and he knew he needed Jensen more than anything else right now but saying it out loud? It was a whole different level. However Jensen seemed to understand, one of his hand found Jared's cheek and he stroked it slowly with his thumb. Jared closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing at Jensen's touch and when he opened his eyes again, Jensen's dark green ones were facing him.  
  
"I want you." Jared moved on the bed so he was invading Jensen's space, almost straddling his lap. "I want you, I need you in me." Jared breathed the words so slowly, the blush on his face permanent and his hands found the buttons of Jensen's shirt. "I want you to make love to me." as he finished his sentence, Jared was on Jensen's laps and he feared he would be rejected, but here he was, asking anyway.  
  
"Please… I'm sure you already have…"  
  
"Already what?… Jesus Jared, I'm a virgin."  
  
"What? But I thought you… oh." Jared had a stupid smile on his face, seeing Jensen's obvious nervousness.  
  
"Damn right, ‘oh’. I was waiting for that special someone. More like that special angel."  
  
"Hmm… And did you find him?" asked Jared.  
  
"Hmm… I think I did."  
  
Jared let out a sound as Jensen flipped him over, pinning him to the bed. Soon, Jensen's mouth was covering his, so was his body. Jared moaned, loving to feel the weight of Jensen against him. Jensen's lips felt hard so was the rest of his body and when Jensen started grinding against him, Jared found himself gasping on the bed, his body awakening to the small touches. Too soon, he was hard inside his pants, tired of feeling so many layers of clothing between them, he wanted to feel Jensen's naked skin against his own, let his feathers caress the freckled skin.  
  
"Hmmm… Jensen… Please… Clothes… off now."  
  
"Eager aren't we?" Jensen teased him some more, his hand sneaking between their two bodies, rubbing against Jared's crotch.  
  
"Jensen!" Jensen chuckled but he broke their embrace, taking his shirt off. "Wait!" said Jared.  
  
"Wanna do that."  
  
"Oh okay…" Jensen was smiling and he let Jared undress him from head to toe, gasping when Jared kissed his shoulder, let his wing brush against his stomach and he even screamed as Jared's dark feathers ran over the apparent bump in his underwear. And finally, finally Jensen was naked and god he was beautiful. Golden and freckles skin for Jared to touch, kiss, lick and caress as much as he wanted. And Jared didn't even realize he was holding his breath until Jensen pressed a kiss against his temple. "You're okay? You know we can st…"  
  
"No! I'm okay… It's just…" Jared couldn't find the right word, perfect doesn't even seemed to cover it. It was more than Jared's private fantasies, it was real, this was his Jensen in front of him. "I'm… I'm good, don't stop."  
  
"Fine, ‘cause it's your turn now." And Jensen undressing him didn't feel weird at all, it felt comfortable, intimate and so fucking hot. The look on Jensen's face, the way his cock was raising up, harder than Jared had ever seen it. God, he wanted him, no doubt of that. And the air felt heavy as they were both naked now, Jared laying down the bed, wing spread out on the covers. He was breathing hard, his chest moving up and down, his feathers were even moving underneath Jensen's gaze. Travelling up and down Jared's too big body.  
  
When Jensen's hands found his knees, Jared couldn't help himself, he jumped at the touch. "Relax Jared… Relax… Okay? Let me make you feel good." Jared gently nodded and Jensen kissed him again, slowly chasing his doubts away and this time when Jensen spread his legs opened, Jared let him do it, pliant underneath Jensen's touch. It felt like it was the first time Jensen was touching him and the boy felt back on the bed as Jensen was gently massaging the inside of his knees, the touch sending shivers down his spine.  
  
"Jeeenseen…"  
  
"Shh… I got you." as he said that, Jensen kissed his stomach and then went lower. Oh fuck…  
  
"Jensen… Please don't stop." Jared was panting by the time Jensen reached his navel and he almost died right there when Jensen blew on his cock. "Oh god… Jensen please, please!" He didn't even know what he was pleading anymore but he whimpered when Jensen's wonderful and sinful lips didn't end up on his cock. Because if he was honest with himself, Jared just loved it when Jensen was sucking on his cock and… "Jensen what are you doing?"  
  
"Shhh… Relax." Relax, yeah sure, all the tension was suddenly back as Jensen palmed his two ass cheeks, and when he spread him open right there, Jared couldn't help the "oh my god." that escaped him. He wasn't stupid, he knew what was about to happen, but Jared wasn't that naïve, but Jensen couldn't but his mouth right there right? "Oh my… JENSEN!" Apparently, he could. Jared blushed harder than he ever had in his whole life as he felt Jensen's wet and warm mouth against his hole. And oh fuck… It felt good. And if Jensen's first lick were a little bit hesitant, he seemed eager hearing the noise Jared was making and he even dared thrust his tongue inside Jared. "Oh … Aaah, Jensen, please don't… don't stop, please…"  
  
Jared never felt something that amazing, Jensen making him wet in a new kind of way, he spread his legs the further he could, thrusting his hips into Jensen's face, one foot on Jensen's shoulder. It was too much, too intense but Jensen seemed to be determine to discover Jared's most intimidate place. "Holy shit, Jensen please …" Jared was a mess on the bed, his wing moving up and down and he came right there, wet and hot all over his own stomach, Jensen's name on his lips. And he was shivering, his own world too bright and still so overwhelming as Jensen pulled out, an obscene sound filling the room.  
  
"Jesus fuck Jared…" Jared wished he could talk but all coherence thought he might have died right there, when he saw that Jensen was still so hard.  
  
"Please Jensen, need you… In me…"  
  
"Okay wait…" That was only when Jensen moved that the boy realized he was shivering too. He laughed slowly and Jensen just shook his head, smile on his face. And then Jared saw what he had in his hands, a condom. It was really happening. Jensen must have caught the look on his face because he frowned.  
  
"No Jensen, no. I'm ready okay? I want you, just you… can we talk later?"  
  
Jared didn't wait for Jensen's answer and he opened the condom himself and he was glad when Jensen helped him put it on place. Jensen hissed a little at the touch and Jared took the opportunity to stroke him a little. And god, Jensen looked absolutely beautiful, sinful even as he pushed his head back, pleasure on his features. He looked down to Jared with something feral in his eyes, dark green reflecting need and want and love. It took Jared's breath away, his blushing coming back up and he was a little surprised when Jensen pushed him back to the bed, spreading his legs quickly, especially when he saw Jensen's cock still so hard. Jensen pressed his weight down on him once more, linking their lips together and kissing him, Jared's body moved on his own, both of them moaning into the kiss when the tip of Jensen's cock brush Jared's entrance.  
  
"Wait… Wait." whispered Jensen as he licked Jared's lips. "Wanna do this right, don't want to hurt you." Before the words had time to make any sense to Jared, Jensen was slipping one long finger deep inside his already wet hole, filling him. Jared's entire body had a shiver, wing rising a little bit as he moaned Jensen's name, hips moving and grinding himself on Jensen's finger. It felt so fucking good, beyond everything Jared knew and he could feel himself getting hard again, not to mention the way Jensen was looking down at him. Like he knew his body but was still amazed by how Jared's reacted, his big and hard body reduced to nothing just because of one finger.  
  
"Think you can take more?" Jensen's voice was just a whisper, barely audible among all the sounds filling the room. But Jared just nodded and one finger became two, slowly stretching him open, that delicious burn inside of him making want more and move his hips and… "Oh yes… Right fucking there." Jared didn't know Jensen could go that far, didn't know he could feel like he was about to lose it, so quick, so fast, and yet there he was, so fucking close to… To nothing because Jensen's fingers suddenly disappeared leaving him empty. "No, please, no Jensen… Need." Jared managed to get out between two gasps but Jensen kissed him again, slipping his tongue between his two lips and Jared circled his arms around him, pulling his hair and his shoulder, pushing him down to have more.  
  
More of Jensen, he would never get enough, and he wasn't disappointed when he felt the tip of Jensen's cock just right there, pushing inside of him and going in slowly, so slowly. Jensen pulled away from the kiss and pressed their forehead together, looking right into Jared's eyes as he kept pushing, inch by inch, filling Jared, making them close as possible. And when he was finally all inside, big thick flesh pulsing right into Jared, the boy let out a moan, the burn in his body so hot and so delicious Jared was so sure he would die right there. It was perfect, perfect, and to know that this was for him and him only, Jensen would be his only one and he would be Jensen's. Wing or not, here they were, Jensen so fucking deep inside of him Jared was seeing red and imagining Jensen's lips ghosting over his bones. Marking him.  
  
"Move… Please move, Jensen, please move."  
  
"Yeah okay, I've got you…I've got you." Jensen kept repeating those same words as he thrust in and out of Jared's body, hands on either side of Jared's head, one buried deep inside his wing.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes, just like that, yes…" Every single one of Jensen's movement had Jared screaming right there and with each thrust, Jensen was claiming him, marking him for life. Jensen growled as Jared pushed his hips back up, trying to have more of Jensen's cock, craving for that perfect feeling of fullness. "Yes, like that, god yes." Jensen growled again, the sound so fucking hot that Jared wanted to hear it again and he yelped when Jensen's grabbed his hips, slamming into the boy's body hardly, the sound of their skin meeting so obscene it was driving Jared fucking insane.  
  
And then Jensen was hitting that spot deep inside of him again, the boy squirming on the bed and against Jensen's body to have more, more. And higher and higher, he felt waves of pleasure taking over him and he knew he was close, and he could tell Jensen was too, he was looking down at him with so much intensity, Jared was sure he wasn't even blinking as the sweetest noises were leaving his mouth, Jensen falling apart in front of Jared.  
  
And there was no rhythm anymore, just Jensen's hips moving frantically inside of him. "God yes… More, please just … bit more." Jensen fell into him, cock still penetrating Jared and they didn't even kiss, they just stole each other’s air, quick lap of tongues between their lips as Jared gripped Jensen's shoulder tight, nails digging into the tattoo of Jensen's wing. His Jensen. On that thought alone, Jared came again, hard, whole body giving in as he screamed Jensen's name louder than he ever had before.  
  
"Oh Jared, fuck…" Jared's entire body felt numb and he swore even his wing felt tired but Jensen was still moving above him. Fuck that was hot. And Jared needed to kiss him properly, so he did just before saying "I love you."  
  
And he didn't know if it was the kiss or the words that sent Jensen over the edge but it did and he came right there, falling apart into Jared's their lips still together. Jensen kept moving in Jared for a while after his release, kissing him slowly and for so long, Jared's mouth felt numb when he pulled away. Jared whimpered when Jensen broke their embrace slowly, soft cock coming out of Jared's body, god, he felt so empty right now. And he was too tired to move, he didn't want to move he wanted to stay like this forever. But thankfully, Jensen still had enough energy to throw the condom away and blow off the candles. "The last thing we want here is a fire, right, Jay?" He chuckled slowly coming back to bed. "Shut up and come here."  
  
Jared saw Jensen shake his head in the semi darkness, the only source of light now being the street light. "I'm here, don't freak out." Jared was about to reply but honestly, he was too tired for that and he was glad when Jensen was back in the bed, pressing their bodies together, wing tangled up between them. "Here better?" Jared just nodded, smiling when Jensen kissed his shoulder. "Oh and by the way… I love you too. Now sleep, we have a lot to do tomorrow."  
  
Jared remembered telling Jensen he loved him again but he wasn't so sure about that because the next minute he was sleeping. He was sleeping with a slight smile on his face, the heat of Jensen's body against his skin and feathers.


	6. Chapter 6

  
  
  
Saying goodbye to his parents always felt weird, but usually it also meant saying goodbye to Jared. But no, not this time, Jared was right there, head nuzzled inside the crook of his neck, wing brushing against his face… Jensen had a radiant smile on his face as he leaned in to breath Jared's hair, chuckling softly when he smelled his own shampoo.  
  
"What's so funny?" asked Jared, looking up to Jensen and locking their eyes together.  
  
"Already using my stuff… And we're not living together yet."  
  
"Well, we will in a few hours so you better get used to it. And besides, you love that, so stop complaining." Jared stuck his tongue out at him and Jensen laughed as the angel broke their embrace, heading towards the car to help Jensen's father to put everything they needed in the backseat of Jensen's car.  
  
Well, Jared did have a point, he loved it when Jared was borrowing his stuff and most of all, he loved it when Jared was wearing the same smell as he did, like it was his own way of telling the world he was Jensen's and Jensen's only. And after what happened last night, he surely was. Jensen bit down his lower lip thinking of last night, the tightness of his angel, the sounds he would get from thrusting inside of him… Fuck. Not a good idea to think about that now. Jensen couldn't wait to get Jared alone and show him how much he loved him and how much he needed him again.  
  
He had truly enjoyed waking up next to a smiling and still sore Jared, the angel still having trace of come all over his belly. The perfect picture of temptation if you ask Jensen. Jensen cleared his throat and tilted his head as Jared was leaning down to grab a bag, showing Jensen a perfect vision of his ass. Okay, he really needed to get Jared alone.  
  
"You're not going to go help them?" Jensen turned to see his mother, facing him with a smile on his face and he blushed a little. If she only knew what he had been thinking about a second before, she wouldn't be smiling that way.  
  
"Naa… They're doing just fine, besides Jared needs to loose a few pounds, I swear mum you feed him too much."  
  
His mother laughed, her smile similar as Jensen's and she ruffled her son's hair. "Nonsense… Besides, who's gonna take care of both of you while you're busy studying? Please Jensen, be careful with Jared, you know how he act all grown up but in the end…" She sighed and turned to the angel, Jensen following her gaze. He knew exactly what she was talking about.  
  
"I will be careful mum, you know I love him more than anything else."  
  
Saying the words out loud and to Jared's ear last night wasn't the same thing as telling them to his mother, but Jensen knew she would understand. And knew he didn't mean as a brother. She wrapped one arm around his shoulder, still smiling.  
  
"I know Jensen, I know, and I'm glad things are turning up okay for the both of you." Jensen was about to reply but that was before his dad and Jared came near them, Jared automatically lacing their fingers together. And Jensen didn't pull away, quite the contrary in fact, smiling to Jared.  
  
"Well boys… I think you are ready to go. Please Jensen, drive slowly and…"  
  
"Dad I know… And mum don't look at us like that, you will see us in a few weeks when you come visit, remember?"  
  
"Yeah Jensen I know, but it's just… The house is going to be so empty without the two of you. How am I going to survive without my two super heroes?" Both boys exchanged a glance before they hugged Jensen's mother, the woman laughed into the embrace.  
  
"Okay, okay I get it, stop it now, I can not breathe." Jensen pulled away with a smile, turning to his dad. "We do this like real man, right dad?" They shook hands and Jensen couldn't help the laugh that escape him. He turned to Jared, but he was still trapped into his mother's embrace and Jensen rolled his eyes. He tend to forget that sometimes, his family had became Jared's family too.  
  
"Jared let's go before we get stuck in traffic… Come on!"  
  
"Okay, okay… Bye aunt Donna, bye uncle Alan."  
  
By the time they both climb into the cars and leave the driveway, Jensen could see the beginning of some tears into Jared's eyes. Jensen grabbed his hand and stroked it slowly.  
  
"You're okay?" He kept one eye on the road but he wished he could look at Jared instead.  
  
"I'm fine… It's just… You're gonna find this stupid."  
  
"Try me."  
  
"Well… I never really left this house, well except for the family trips or stuff like that… but you know... It feels, I dunno man, weird."  
  
Jared shrugged like it was no big deal, facing the window. Jensen knew the feeling, he was the same when he left the house months earlier, this time was different, because he had Jared on his side, so Jensen couldn't help the smile on his face. He truly was happy.

→

Jared's smile right now was taking Jensen's breath away. He was bouncing from foot to foot, his wing battling like every time it did when Jared was happy, his hair falling down to his face, hazel eyes looking green now as he smiling.  
  
"Jensen… This is huge, I'm sure I would loose myself like… twice a day."  
  
"No you won't! It's easy I swear."  
  
They were on campus, Jared had insisted to go there first, he wanted Jensen to show him around. And they seemed to be lucky, there weren't too many people today, after all, it was still the beginning of the summer, most students tend to run away from the campus, not the other way around.  
  
"Come on… Let's walk some more." pleaded Jared, tugging at Jensen's hand and reminding Jensen of how strong and how big he was now, almost the same weight as his big brother.  
  
"Okay… But then we have to go back home and eat something, okay? Oh and…And also unpack."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, okay."  
  
Jensen knew that it meant that Jared wasn't paying attention to anything he was saying right now but it was worth it because the happy smile was lingering on his face and Jensen hoped it would never fade away. They went to every building and Jensen even showed Jared the lab, telling him all about his weird teacher and that day when some students decided to free the rats. They hit the library and Jensen had to remind Jared he couldn't borrow every god damn book even if the angel had begged him, a small pout on his face when Jensen had told him no.  
  
When they finally arrived at Jensen's flat, Jensen had a few pizza cupboard in hand. He was too tired to cook anyway and he knew Jared was fine with just pizza.  
  
"Man, I'm so hungry." announced Jared, going into the living room and stretching. Jensen was distracted a few second by the movement of his wing, still amazed that it was following Jared's every move.  
  
"Hmm… Yeah." He cleared his throat."I told you, we should have hurried, here hold this, gonna grab something to drink."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Minutes later they were sprawled out on the floor, against the couch, Jensen drinking his coke as Jared was eating quickly.  
  
"Are you even chewing?" Jensen chuckled as he took one slice for himself, before Jared ate the whole thing.  
  
"I am, it's good and I didn't realize how hungry I was… Some of us are still growing up you know."  
  
Jensen glared at Jared as the boy was offering him an innocent smile, like he wasn't aware of what he just implied. They remained silent for a while, eating with smile on their faces.  
  
"There. I'm good."    
  
Jensen was pressed against the couch and he had been watching Jared the whole time, his mind still amazed by the fact that Jared was going to college to the same place he did every day, he would meet his friends, make new ones and… It was slightly too much in one day. Jared must gave noticed his gaze because he turned to Jensen, smiling. He made his way to his big brother on his fourth, Jensen moaning when he saw Jared licking his lips. That simple gesture reminding Jensen how bad he wanted Jared and reminding him his previous fantasies.  
  
"So… where are Jason and Chris?" Jared asked innocently as he straddled Jensen's laps. For one moment, Jensen was distracted because of the big and hard body he had against him and he forgot to answer. And besides, it wasn't like Jared was expecting him to think when he was looking absolutely beautiful like this, the curve of his ass right against Jensen's crotch.  
  
"Jensen?" Jared moved his hips, grinding slowly against him.  
  
"I asked you a question…"  
  
"I… shit… Not there yet, they're coming back here tomorrow or something."  
  
"Good."  
  
With that, Jared leaned in and kissed him, slow and passionate, his body grinding against Jensen. And Jensen could do nothing but moan, wondering when his baby brother Jared had turned into this living temptation, body warm and hot and craving for Jensen. Jensen finally moved, his hands founding Jared's ass, and squeezing tight, the boy shivered, pulling away from the kiss. Jensen waisted no time to suck Jared's neck, hands still firmly on his ass, guiding him as he was rubbing against Jensen's crotch, Jensen getting hard by the second feeling Jared already horny not to mention the friction every single move of Jared's hips was creating.  
  
"God Jensen… Yes… More, please, more…" Jensen's mouth changed angle as he suck Jared's Adam apple, hollowing his cheek like he would have done if he was sucking Jared's cock. He was rewarded by more sounds from Jared's mouth, his hands finding their way into Jensen's hair and pulling, hips moving up and down fast now, tracing circles as he rubbed against Jensen. "Jen… please, more… need." Jensen released his Adam apple, his breathing hard and labored as he finally spoke. "What do you want Jay?"  
  
"You in me… God… Now."  
  
"'Kay. Let's go to my bedroom and I'll fuck you until you can not walk, how does that sound?"  
  
Jensen didn't know where that was coming from but Jared didn't seem to mind, no, he blushed and kissed Jensen once more before he got up, driving the other up too. They almost ran to the bedroom and Jensen waisted no time to rip Jared's shirt off, the boy looking at him with eyes wide open, but lust still visible in him. "Kinda like that shirt." pointed out Jared. Jensen silenced him by another kiss, their tongues moving fast and Jensen grabbing Jared's face to fuck his mouth properly, expressing with his tongue how badly he wanted Jared. He just wish they could spend every day in bed with Jared spread and opened for him so he would just have to bury his cock deep inside of him and just fuck him.  
  
"God. Too much clothing." Jensen growled, biting down Jared's neck. "You naked. Right fucking now."  
  
"Holy… yes…" Jared seemed to be stunt by Jensen's orders but he obeyed anyway and Jensen moaned when he finally saw miles and miles of tanned skin offered before him, the contrast with the color of his wing, absolutely breathtaking. Not to mention Jared's blush, the boy obviously not at ease at being naked right in front of Jensen who was still fully clothed. Jensen took off his shirt and threw it somewhere before he grabbed Jared's face again and kissed him, Jared put one tight on Jensen's hips, eager to respond to the kiss, and Jensen lost his balance, making them both fall onto the bed, Jensen on the top of Jared.  
  
"Gosh… Don't stop…" Jared pleaded as Jensen pulled away from the kiss.  
  
"I won't just… Turn around. I want to fuck you like that, on your fours."  
  
"Fuck Jensen…"  
  
And if Jensen was sure Jared couldn't turn any redder, he was apparently wrong. But they boy moved and Jensen let escape a "well fuck me" seeing Jared ass in the air, ready for him, not to mention his wing, stretch and beautiful. Yes, he would start right there. Jensen took off his pants too, smirk on his face when he saw Jared swaying his hips, god he had no fucking clue of how beautiful he was. Once Jensen was in nothing more but underwear he knelt behind Jared, and leaned slowly, pressing his chest against Jared's back. A gasp fell from Jared's lips, Jensen knowing fully he could feel his hard on pressed against his ass, and his skin brushed against his feathers. He put his hands right above Jared's before he started licking the back of his neck, taking his time, tasting him.  
  
"Jensen… god… I…"  
  
Whatever Jared had meant to say, the words died right there and he let escape a moan when Jensen's tongue move to his shoulder, Jensen moaning too against his skin. He would never, ever get tired of Jared's taste, or the way he felt, he wanted to do this forever, take care of him and gently love him, the outside world slowly fading away. And with the same eagerness, he headed to Jared's shoulder blades and facing the feathers on one of them, he licked that spot right where Jared's skin was ending and the feathers was spreading out.  
  
"Oh god! Jensen, yes, yes, yes…"  
  
Jensen knew Jared was sensitive on that spot, but it was another thing to hear Jared falling apart, his fists tight around the sheets and his hips rolling down to meet Jensen's hard on. Fuck, Jared seemed to be everywhere at the same time and it drove Jensen fucking insane as one of his hands found his way into Jared's wing, stroking gently as his skin was sucking the skin at the beginning of his wing. "Jensen… stop… or… fuck."  
  
Or what? Jensen was curious to know if Jared could come from him touching his wing alone, god, he probably could. Licking his lips now, Jensen buried his head into the feathers, inhaling Jared's scent. He even dared licking one of them, rewarded when Jared's body had a violent shiver. "Like this Jay?" Jensen leaned down again, capturing a few feathers in his mouth, his thumb rubbing against the already sensitive spot on Jared's shoulder blade.  
  
"God yes… Yes… Gonna come.Yes, Jensen just…" Both of Jensen's hands found the feathers now and he was stroking them, rubbing them between his fingers and sucking and licking his way down to Jared's wing. And the boy came just like that, arching into the touch, going silent for a few seconds, his body turned into a giant screamed.  
  
"Fuck, Jay… did you just…" Jensen needed to see for himself, he spun Jared around and moaned when he saw Jared's own come against the sheets and his stomach, Jared blushing.  
  
"Told you to stop."  
  
"God… don't apologize. We have all night, I plan to make you come a lot of time…"  
  
Jared moaned at that before he grabbed Jensen's by the hair and kissed him low and dirty. God yes, a long night indeed.  
  
→   
  
The sunlight woke him up, they had forgotten to pull down the blinds. He felt the wing tickling along his naked body, sighed and moved closer to Jared, their limbs mixing and touching. He put an arm over Jared's chest and tried to get back to sleep, because after last night, Jensen was really tired. But that was before a weird noise, like somebody was chewing, and it brought him to full awakeness. Jensen opened his eyes and turned his head towards the noise. To see Jason standing in the doorway, smile on his face.  
  
"What the fuck?" he said as loud as he could whisper it. Because despite his surprise, he really didn't want to wake up Jared, still far asleep, next to him.  
  
"Don't stress…I'm not looking at your perfect built bodies, just looking for the thesaurus." Said Jason, shrugging like it was no big deal. "At least I'm not lying... and you should thank me." he added while reaching for the object he was looking for.  
  
"What for?" Jensen said in the same tone, trying to cover himself and Jared up how he could.  
  
"Because Chris wanted to check you guys out, he brought popcorn and all…" Jason said trying not to laugh when Jensen turned around to face Chris sitting on a chair at the foot of his bed.  
  
Oh for the lord of...  
  
"What' up pal!" he greeted. "By the way..you'll need to clean here cause Jason smacked me when I tried to take the sheet out and some popcorns fell" Chris explained, eating and Jensen realized the noise that woke him up.  
  
"You perv! Get out! "He ordered, still whispering… and that was stupid but he didn't want Jared to wake up surrounded by those weirdos that were his flatmates. Both started to laugh then, so loud they woke Jared up. His wing flapped open just to close up again, like it always did when he woke up, but that was enough to throw the sheet to the floor and leave both Jensen and him on their birthday suits.    
  
"Fucking finally! " exclaimed Chris "This is what I was waiting for... "  
  
Jensen made a face that needed no other explanation, so Chris said in his defence that is was for his anatomy studies "What? You both are fine adult males, I needed to observe because of the drawings and that…it's for science."  
  
"And for jerking off" added Jason "We all know it."  
  
"No dude..to jerk off I think of your mo..."  
  
And then there was a loud noise, Chris was thrown on the floor,his chair following him on ground, Jason on top of him "Take that back or I will kill you" he yelled.  
  
"Never!" Chris managed to somehow scream. " I shall repeat it, exhale it with my last breath...I think of her purple wings and…" Then there was a scream of pain and a Chris was holding his nose. "Bastard we said no face punching…Remember the rules!  
  
"No rules when mom's are involved, that's rule fourteen bitch!" Jason replied before he was rolling on the floor.  
  
Jensen just rolled his yes and looked at his alarm clock. "How do you guys even do it? Its' so early... and you went out last night."  
  
"Magic!" they both answered and they moved around and tried some mexican fight techniques they saw on TV some months before. Jensen massaged his temples and turned around, Jared was there eyes bright opened, amused and laughing at the scene.  
  
"This is the best house ever."  
  
Perfect Jensen thought. I will have to share flat with three overgrown 5 year olds.  
  
   
  
Jensen's roommates were amazing. Well, now that Jared thought about it, sat cross legged on Jason's bed, they were his roommates too. Okay, it was weird to wake up to the sound of them laughing but both of the guys were funny and Jason had already promised to show him some tricks so he could fly better, even with one wing. How could Jared said no to that? Just as he was thinking that, Chris entered in Jason's room, smile on his face.  
  
"Now that Jensen is gone, we need to plan what we are going to do tonight."  
  
Jensen was on grocery shopping duty, after Jared had slightly complained about the emptiness of the fridge. But it wasn't his fault if he was tall and he needed to eat it a lot.  
  
"I know that look Chris, you have something in mind."  
  
"Dude, don't I always?" Jared chuckled softly, looking at the both of them. "There is this party downtown tonight and we are so going. Man I love it here when we have no classes at all. So here's the plan Jared, once Jensen is there, you jump on him and tell him you want to go to the party, okay?"  
  
"And knowing Jensen, he won't say no to you." quickly added Jason.  
  
Jared looked back and forth at Chris and Jason, biting his lower lip. Well, he was more than glad they didn't see him as the little boy who just got out from high school. And Jared would be lying if he said he didn't want to have a little bit of fun.  
  
"Deal… But you guys owe me, don't forget that."  
  
Chris chuckled and ruffled his hair. "And I repeat, I'm glad Jensen chose you."  
  
Half an hour later when Jensen was coming back with hands full, Jared almost jumped on him, snatching the plastic bags from him. "Jason and Chris said there is a party tonight and we are going." Without leaving Jensen any chance to reply, he kissed him, soft press of the lips against his. Jensen leaned him for more but Jared pulled from the kiss, smiling. And judging by the look on Jensen's face, they were going to the party. Yes, Jared couldn't help but to bounce on his feet from excitement. His first real party, he was a real college student now and he was going to get drunk and then make out with Jensen. Yes, it did sound like a perfect plan.  
  
Jensen didn't argue too much and they all started to get ready. Jared wondered what to wear, with his size and his wing, his choices were very limited, that was before Jason stepped into his room and threw some clothes at him. "Wear this, trust me you'll look good in it." Jensen just chuckled, as he was himself getting ready.  
  
"Trust me Jay, you don't want to piss off Jason, I swear I sometimes wonder who is gay around that house." Jared laughed too before taking off his t-shirt, seconds later he found himself wearing a black v neck, the colour matching his wing perfectly.  
  
"So how do I look…" Jared spun around to face Jensen but he was distracted by how Jensen looked himself. He was wearing a white shirt with a leather jacket and some dark grey jeans that made his legs look impossibly long not to mention the bow of them. Fuck, Jensen looked more than good, and he was smiling at Jared.  
  
"Well, well, I will just have to make sure everybody knows you're my angel."  
  
Jared honestly couldn't talk, his mouth dry as a pure rush of want washed over him, god, Jensen was so fucking and hot and sexy that he wished they had time for… for… Something, anything. Jensen seemed to have read his mind because he reduced the distance between them to wrap one arm around Jared's waist. And the boy just had the time to whisper "you look so fucking hot." before Jensen sealed their lips together and kissed him, sweet and tender as his tongue was pushing between Jared's lips. And Jared welcomed in with a gasp, hands tugging at the leather jacket, wanting nothing more but to take it off and feel Jensen's skin against his fingers. Just like that, the kiss became heated and Jared wasn't planning on stopping or pulling away from air. Well that before someone cleared his throat behind them.  
  
"Guys, not that I don't mind the free show, but we have things to do, remember?" Jared felt Jensen cursing against his lips and he chuckled, before pulling away himself. He knew both of his cheeks were red but he couldn't help it as he was facing Chris.  
  
"Do we really have to go? I mean Jared and I can totally have our own party while you guys are gone."  
  
"Dude… Jared is there since yesterday and you're already acting like a married couple? Not under my roof son."  
  
Jared burst out laughing because Chris did look serious and he followed him, grabbing Jensen's hand so he would follow him. He rolled his eyes at the small pout on Jensen's face, which was totally cute by the way.  
  
"Let's go have some fun!" Chris announced as they were in the living room. "But before…good luck shots!" then he clapped and Jason appeared with four shots of something non identified and he handed one to each of them. "Three, two, one.”  
  
“And drink everything." Chris added very quickly before gulping down his shot and looking as his friends did the same. Jared followed their movement and he regretted it one second later as the hot liquid burnt his throat. He coughed and felt Jensen's reassuring hand on his back as the two others were laughing.  
  
"Well, well, I think it's time to corrupt an angel. What do you say Jason?"  
  
"I think you're right." Jared's only answer was to steal one more kiss to Jensen before they left the flat, Jared still blushing. He had the feeling it was going to be a wonderful evening.

→

"Who let the dogs out?" Chris yelled into the night.  
  
"No dude, too early you are not even drunk what the hell?" Jason laughed. "I swear I think half the time you just act drunk cause you don't need it to be stupid I mean…"  
  
Chris rolled his eyes at him. "Shut up, and you two love birds…faster please I know you don't need to but some of us would like to find someone to hook up with."  
  
Jared couldn't help but stick his tongue out at Chris, his head resting on Jensen's chest, Jensen's arm covering his wing. It was comfortable to walk just like this, pressed against Jensen. And Jensen's chest moved as he laughed at Chris.  
  
"Dude, another random girl… After what happened last time?"  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about… Besides I'm squeaky clean. " Chris replied before rolling his eyes "Not that I had something before, I swear."  
  
Jared laughed and soon enough they reached the door of the pub. The music was loud, classic rock and and it smelled like cigarettes and beers, and pressed against Jensen, Jared felt safe and he couldn't wait to have some fun. And apparently, Jason knew one of the waitresses or something like that, because soon, they found themselves sat down at a table, four beers in front of them. Jensen grabbed his and Jared still so close to him followed the movement.  
  
"Man I really am corrupting you…"  
  
"I don't know what you are talking about." replied Jared innocently, sipping his beer. "Okay, no mention of this night to mum?"  
  
"What night?" Jensen laughed ruffling his hair before he took off his leather jacket. And oh fuck, it was going to be a very long night.  
  
"See something you like Jay?" Jared just nodded before he quickly kissed Jensen.  
  
"For the love of… Will you two stop?"  
  
"Chris don't be jealous, will you?" replied Jensen, kissing Jared's temple.  
  
"I'm not. Dude I'm not, but tonight is about getting drunk so please gentlemen, finish your beers and then we are getting grown up drinks." Jared rolled his eyes and just shrugged he was so ready.  
  
And it turned out that grown up drinks actually meant : whisky, tequila, whisky again, vodka, one mojito because the name was so funny and Jared wanted to try it. Anyway, a few hours later, Jared's head felt dizzy and when he turned his head he saw Chris kissing some random girl. "Hey… I thought we were here to drink, why do you get to kiss someone and I don't." Chris only answer was to stop kissing the girl, seriously what was her name again, and standing up, leading her to the dancefloor. "Well we're taking a quick break, you should come dancing too."  
  
Jared was about to reply but that was before one firm hand ended up around his waist. God, so fucking good, he loved that arm and he loved who it belonged to. Yeah, especially who it belong to, it was the same person who pressed his mouth against his ear. "How drunk are you right now?" asked Jensen low and dirty. Jared moaned, squirming a little bit on his seat, too far from Jensen for his own taste. Jared breathed deeply, trying to avoid the fact that Jensen didn't shave this morning and the little facial hair he had was rubbing against his skin. Just a small touch but it sent his skin on fire.  
  
"A bit... not a lot. Why you're asking? I'm good." lied Jared.  
  
"Mhhm ...Yes you are." Jensen whispered in his ear and added a little moan in the end. "You are really good." Fuck. Jared bit down his lower lip, holding back a moan. God that was so fucking hot and… He turned around, facing Jensen, his eyes dark now, blush on his face showing more freckles than ever.  
  
"Oh god." Jared grinned "You are drunk!"  
  
"Of course... it was part of their master plan" Jensen said, the words rolled out of his mouth like a rock went down hill, no control but kinda hypnotizing. And Jared realized he had never seen Jensen in such a state, which was kinda sad now that he knew how hot Jensen look when he was drunk.  
  
"Ha! this is good, I like drunk you" Jared told him, rubbing one hand over his face. "You get…" but he couldn't finish his sentence because Jensen stuck his thumb between his two lips, and suck it. "Oh god, Jensen… " In two seconds, Jared went from half hard to rock solid and there was nothing he could do about with so many eyes watching.  
  
"Dance with me." was Jensen's only answer and he pulled Jared, they joined Jason and Chris, that were already giving everything they had to the dancefloor, spinning and moving around and around, while laughing two girls that looked like twins to Jared between them, he shook his head and smiled.  
  
"So...you like drunk Jenny?" Chris asked, actually shouting over the loud music."I bet you never saw him like this."  
  
Jared laughed as he replied. "Yeah... he is good, more touchy… and…" Jared turned around to look at Jensen but he suddenly noticed that Jensen's shirt was gone, and his golden freckles skin was on display as he moved with the rhythm of the song, hips swaying. Well fuck. It took a few seconds for Jared to not just jump on his boyfriend and kiss him right there and hell why not begged to be fucked. But he couldn't, he was clearly, less drunk than Jensen and he needed to handle this. "Good lord Jensen where is your shirt?" Jared asked before he noticed a random girl eyeing Jensen with envy. Hell no. He tried to cover Jensen up with his wing, wanting to hide him from all the hungry eyes staring at him.  
  
"Dunno, must have lost it on the way to there…too hot." He shrugged like it was no big deal and turned around singing along to a song he would be ashamed to admit he knew the words of. Okay... Think Jared, think. Don't start making out with him even if he looks hot... Jared took a deep breath and turned to his roommates.  
  
"And how many times he does this?" Jared pointed at Jensen.  
  
"Once a month... twice if we are lucky, your boy is a hard worker" said Jason. "And I would got him secured before it's too late."  
  
Jared winked back at Jason and stepped closer to Jensen ."Hey…nice wing" he whispered against his ear. Jared would absolutely never get tired of watching Jensen's tattoo. Yes, it was the exact same replica of his, but it somehow looked more alive and beautiful on Jensen's skin, over his shoulder blade and the freckles. And seeing him dance and sing like this, so careless and free with the wing on his back, it was more than hot. It was pure torture.  
  
"Thank you, I got it from my angel, we share them." Jensen said before he hooked his arms to Jared's neck and started dancing against him.  
  
"Oh really? And how does that work for you?" Jared asked smiling.  
  
"Pretty good, we just need to be together all the time, we couldn't but now we will." He turned around to steal an other kiss. Jared kissed him back, his wing opening to close around Jensen and himself, keeping them even closer. Like they were glued by their lips and their hips, both of their eyes closed. Nothing else existed. It was just them, the music, and that funny feeling they didn't recognize, maybe it was the tequila…or love who knew? They moved along the music until somebody tapped them on the back.  
  
"…Things getting heated in there?" Jason asked. "Just saying I would keep the show down unless you want them to kick us out."  
  
"Of course we don't mind" added Chris. "This is like free porn"  
  
Jensen gave the middle finger to Chris "You whited!" he said.  
  
"Hell yeah.... I'm going to be honest, not even going to blame it on the alcohol, I would like to watch" he winked at Jared that turned so red it was almost purple.  
  
"Guys…how is the search for girls?" Jensen asked them.  
  
"Good why?" Jason replied. "Like you care" he laughed "You just see Jared."  
  
"Yeah.. I just wanted to say me and Jared are going back home … and you could take a while to come back, like a long while." Jared blushed and looked down, having Jensen mention of them having sex so casually was kind of embarrassing. But damn him, it was also a huge turn on.  
  
"Alright…. just keep the noise down and close the door, I'll keep Chris from joining in" Jason said.  
  
"Have fun guys!" Chris winked towards them before going back to his girl, he called her girl so Jared figured he forgot her name.  
  
That gave him and Jensen something to laugh about on the ride home and Jensen said that Chris did that all the time, which was mainly why he would never be able to have a girlfriend. The taxi driver complained about the lack of shirt from Jensen but when he slipped him a twenty dollar bill just to take them to their flat that was four blocks away, he smiled and asked if he would like some heating in the cab. "No…I've got all the hot I need." replied Jensen with a smile before pulling Jared into a deep kiss. Jared could hear the taxi driver saying something, maybe he was complaining but he really didn't mind whatever the man was going on about, he had Jensen.  
  
  
  
He was so horny and hot right now, nothing else mattered in the world but Jared. Jared pushed him against one of the elevator walls, pressing their mouths together. Fuck, fuck, yes, more. Jensen didn't realize he was in fact saying all he thought out loud, but he was more than glad when Jared slipped between his legs and he was very grateful for Jared's strength as he hold him right there, Jensen's legs wrapped around his waist. "God you're so fucking big… I swear there is just so fucking much of you…" Jensen mumbled the words, his entire vision clouded with lust and Jared, beautiful and hot and warm and big Jared pressed against him. And his mouth, and his hands, his feathers… Fuck. None of them reacted as the elevator doors opened to their floor, they were too busy kissing.  
  
No, Jensen was too busy holding on to Jared like his whole life was depending on it and Jared was kissing him back with as much passion. Jensen did slide a bit from the wall but it only result by his ass grinding against the hard line of Jared's cock. "God… All of that for me. Jay will you fuck me?"  
  
"What?" Jared looked up at him with surprise, almost dropping Jensen. Jensen bit his lower lip, feeling so stupid for not realizing before what he needed.  
  
"Will you fuck me, I need you to be the first I mean, I know it will hurt a bit and everything but god I need you inside of me."  
  
To prove his point, Jensen sneaked one hand between their two bodies, rubbing Jared's crotch over the denim of his jeans. Jared hissed a little bit, Jensen sliding off the wall even more. "Okay, we'll do it, not tonight, you're drunk and your first time needs to be perfect, mine was after all. Thanks to you." Jared kissed him, so softly that Jensen felt like he was melting underneath the touch of his tongue, the intensity of the kiss and the love he felt for Jared mixed together making his heart bit faster he was so sure it would burst out of rib cage.  
  
"Okay, I'll wait, but please, please touch me."  
  
"I will just… Jensen we should really get out of the elevator and go to our bedroom."  
  
"Oh… yeah.." Jensen laughed realizing the doors had been opened this whole time and anyone could have walked on them. Well he was too drunk to care.  
  
With the same feeling of being free, he grabbed Jared's hand and like the first time, they ran to the bedroom, Jensen even dropping the keys a few times or missing the lock because Jared was distracting him with his kisses. But finally, finally, he opened the door of his… No their bedroom and took off his jeans and underwear in one long motion. "Jensen… god you're so beautiful, come here." Jensen was so hard he was sure one touch will be enough to make him come and he laid down to bed next to Jared, who was stripping from his clothes too. Once they found themselves both naked to the bed and facing each other, Jared reached down and grabbed Jensen's cock, wasting no time to stroke him hard and fast, just like he knew Jensen loved it.  
  
Jensen arched into the touch, his face deep into Jared's neck, moaning his name. He licked his lips before he reached for Jared's cock, his own hand and fingers circling the tip of Jared's big and already wet cock. "God Jensen…" Jensen's only answer was to moan and soon he was following the same rhythm Jared's was applying to his cock, giving as equally as he was receiving. When Jared's thumb rubbed the sensitive head of his dick, Jensen did the same and they both moaned, when Jared palmed his balls, feeling their weight, same sensations, same pants and same moans and the same love reflecting on both of their faces. "Fuck…" Jensen was the one to break first and he came slowly, releasing shot of come inside of Jared's palm, making it sticky. "Fucking, fuck."  
  
Jensen whispered slowly for a few minutes before he kissed Jared, rolling over so he was covering his body with his, both of his hands stroking the angel. It was enough to have Jared break down before him, coming too, making their embrace more sticky than ever, wing falling of the bed, almost touching the floor. "Well…" declared Jared. "I'm getting you drunk at least once a month."  
  
That made Jensen laughed as he licked his finger clean, glad to see Jared's blush. "In that case, I'm really proud of corrupting you." Jensen leaned down and kissed Jared some more before resting his head in his neck, eyes closed.  
  
"You actually plan on sleeping here?" Jensen's only answer was to nod, Jared's laughter feeling the room.   
  
If anyone had asked Jared, he would probably tell you that this summer was the best of his life. He could kiss Jensen whenever he wanted, even if sometimes Chris pretended it was annoying but deep down, the angel knew he didn't mind. Just like he knew that he was very lucky to have Jensen and some free time. When his parents came to visit, they made sure the flat was clean and no beer was left into the fridge and Jared swore, he never saw Chris behave that well. Then again, it might have something to do with Jensen giving him  fifty bucks… Jared would never know.  
  
Like he still didn't know what he wanted his major to be but whenever the discussion was coming up, Jensen would silent him with a kiss and tell him to worry about such things later. And Jared didn't mind kissing Jensen, he didn't mind at all. And off course, Jared kept his promise and he made love to Jensen, glad to have the house alone because the noises Jensen made was for him and him only.  
  
Anyway, soon lazy days became weeks and Jared found a new passion in photography. Well it was mostly shots of Jensen but Jared couldn't help it if his boyfriend was so dam attractive. And at first, Jensen had been totally against the idea of modelling for Jared, Jared had to wait until he was deep asleep to take some pictures of the curves of his back, the trails of freckles on his skin or Jared's personal favourite : a picture of Jensen's sleeping on his stomach, naked, his tattoo looking like another part of himself as the sun was slowly rising in their bedroom. Jensen agreed the picture was nice (he did with a blush before snatching it from Chris' eager hands) and he didn't complain anymore when Jared was taking some pictures.  
  
There were off course more parties and Jared managed to have Zachariah coming over for a few days, it was so good seeing him after such a long time and Jared was sure Zach did have a huge crush on Chris. They did this giant barbecue on the beach which was nice because for once, Jensen agreed to take his guitar with him and he played in front of the few people, his voice low and fingers moving, eyes into Jared's like he used to do in their old room, only singing to him. Jensen exchanged e-mails frequently with Misha now, he was on a world trip with Sebastian and following his travelling blog was a good source of laughter. Jensen also received a call from Danneel one day and him and Jared headed to L.A one week end, Jared actually glad to see her, and Gen. They were both okay, Danneel was trying out to be an actress she had in fact gotten a role in some random teenage drama and she was working as a waitress late night to pay her acting classes. Meanwhile Gen was in vet school and Jared could see how proud she was of Danneel and he wondered when she would tell Danneel about her true feelings for her. Jared made her promise to do it soon and the boys left the California with a lot of sunglasses and a nice tan.  
  
And before Jared could even realize it, September was coming, which means less time to go to the beach and more studying. But all the good things had to end, right?  
  
  
  
"Hey Jensen… Have you seen my blue sweater? The one with the… god are you even listening to me?"  
  
Honestly, the answer was no. Jensen looked up from the book he was currently reading and faced Jared. The angel looked so uncertain, moving around and picking up a few things and pulling them back in place. The same thing had been going on for a few hours and Jensen knew why. Jared was nervous. Tomorrow he would be an official college student, not to mention he would be younger than the others students oh… and let's not forget the fact that he only had one wing. Jensen knew for Jared it was like going to primary school all over again or worse, the first time they met when Jensen chose him.  
  
Jensen smiled slightly remember his eight years old self, so sure he would end up alone and now he had Jared. "Jay come here, please."  
  
"No Jensen I need to…"  
  
"Will you shut up and sit?"  
  
Jared glared down at him and could have looked frightening if Jensen couldn't see right through him. Jared did sit down to the bed, wing falling down like every time he wasn't feeling okay. Jensen made his way to him, on his knees, only stopping when he was straddling Jared's lap, the angel moaning slightly feeling Jensen's body so close to his own. Jensen wrapped his arms around his neck, still smiling.  
  
"Look I know you're nervous about tomorrow, but it's going to be just fine, I swear."  
  
"You don't know it." replied automatically Jared. "I mean, you won't be there with me all the time, you won't always be there to protect me Jensen…"  
  
The last part of Jared's sentence was just a whisper and he looked down sadly. Jensen frowned, he couldn't let Jared think this way, not after the wonderful summer they had. "You're wrong." Jared looked up, ready to argue but something on Jensen's tone or maybe his face, stopped him. "You're wrong, damn me if it does sound cheesy but I will always be there to protect you, hell I think in a few years you will grow tired of me." Jared chuckled a little bit at that and Jensen pressed one kiss against his lips. "You're wrong, because I love you and because choosing you was the best decision of my entire life. I didn't chose you because of your wing or because I was supposed to choose… I chose you because when you tried to fly and everybody laughed at you, you know what I wanted to do Jared?"  
  
They were so close, Jensen could feel Jared hot breath against his face, his wing covering Jensen's back and holding him just right there. "I wanted to come over and help you get up and just tell everyone to shut up. I wanted to protect you from the rest of the world because you're you. Just because you're Jared. And I love you."  
  
Tears were forming into Jared's eyes, he wiped them away, before he replied. "You were right, it is totally cheesy."  
  
"Oh shut up."  
  
Jensen ruffled his hair, getting them messy just the way he knew Jared hated it, before sealing their lips together in another kiss. But he meant every word and if he could go back, he would do the same, choose Jared and tell his eight years old self that it was okay to be afraid, it was okay to feel this need and this love for someone else. That years later it will be the same and he would have someone to love. His angel, his overgrown boy with a bright smile, his Jared.


End file.
